See how calm your dog is?

Look at your dog.

Is he worrying about rampant viruses? Or is he just contentedly being a dog? Is he getting anxious about what just may happen in the future, or is he happy with where he is right now?

We can learn from our pets. For a start we can enjoy their world-view and consequent feelings of normality and continuity.

And we can observe that worrying about things changes nothing!

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Security and safety

We all need a sense of security (as Maslow defined in his Hierarchy of Needs), and the panic and fears being whipped up by some parts of the media and social media are counter-productive!

Continually being in an anxious state lowers your immunity and maintains damaging stress.

Choose one or maybe two news sources that you trust, and check them just once a day. You do not need minute-by-minute reports and all the speculation and catastrophising that goes with them.

When you are talking, ask yourself “Am I making the situation better or worse?” 

We all need a sense of belonging, and isolation measures can make us feel alone and vulnerable.

Self-sufficiency

I’m no epidemiologist, but I have seen isolation work. When the UK slaughtered millions of farm animals in the last Foot and Mouth outbreak, Ireland was barely touched. Because it is largely a rural economy, there was a united effort from the whole country - instantly - to comply with the sweeping measures brought in to prevent the spread of the disease. The result was that only a couple of flocks in one area were affected. Ireland escaped Foot and Mouth virtually unscathed.

Once we have our safety and belonging needs sorted - by reframing them as virtues not calamities - we can look to being the best version of ourselves.

We manifest into our lives the things we most desire and the things we most fear. (This is physics, not woo-woo - ask Einstein …) Where is your focus?

These things will pass! Do what is recommended by your authorities, look at the upside of isolation (there’s always an upside to everything!)

.. and enjoy some quality time with your soothing, carefree, dog.

Your dog is not so soothing and carefree?
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One dog is such fun: now I want two!

“I so enjoy life with you,” says the husband to his wife, “that I’ve decided to get another wife too. You’re going to be such friends!”

Think that will go down well? Well, who knows - there could be occasions where it would. But more often there’s going to be shock and dismay, seething resentment, and possibly worse.

So when you decide that having a dog is such fun that you want to get another, think hard beforehand!

After will be too late.

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I’ve had a multi-dog household for many years. I’ve seen dogs absolutely delighted with “their” new puppy. They love it and mother it from the start. Marauding dogs in the park had better not get near their baby!

But far more often introductions have had to be slow and low-key.

Always remember that your dog didn’t choose to have a puppy - you did.  

So you must cause as little disruption to your adult dog’s life as possible. (I say “adult” advisedly. Do NOT get another puppy if your puppy is still .. a puppy. More about that here)

From the very start demonstrate to your dog that the puppy takes second place, and is your own responsibility, not his.

That means:

• Solo walks for both pup and dog

• Separate sleeping arrangements, separate crates, maybe separate rooms

• Separate feeding (essential to start with as the pup will be on four meals a day to your older dog’s one)

• Very limited playtime together (two minutes? maybe five?) and always actively supervised

• Special training/cuddle/play times for your older dog when pup is asleep

• Adequate sleep for both

• Zero pestering allowed from pup to adult

I go into more detail on all of this in this post.

If you’re thinking about adding to your doggy family, consider the implications of the list above. You can’t get a new pup and chuck it in with your other dog and expect everything to go well! It is often many months before your adult even accepts the youngster - never mind befriends her.

Don’t underestimate the time this will take!

You’ll need to devote a huge amount of time to this. Constant surveillance, separate walks .. It takes dedication to follow through and do this right.

People are sometimes aggrieved when I shatter their vision of their two dogs endlessly wrestling on the floor, wearing themselves out so that walking them isn’t thought necessary. Are you sure you’re not thinking a little along these lines? That the puppy will exercise and amuse your older dog for you? Are you sure?

But think of the outcome of allowing this. The puppy will learn no self-control, no respect for other dogs. He’ll think that all dogs - and maybe people and children too - are his playthings, for him to rag and chew to his puppy-heart’s content.

The older dog will be driven quietly mad at a time when he may be expecting more calm in his life. This could end up with snarls and trouble.

Two youngsters?

If your older dog is still very young himself, be sure to check out this post and think of the natural result of two young dogs finding everything they need in each other and not in you. As a dog trainer I often have to re-educate such dog-owners and show them how they can turn the situation round. It’s not so easy, once these behaviours are established - but it is possible.

Once you’ve got over the first few months though - and if you do it right - you’ll have two dogs who are firm friends and companions, but who always look to you first. Perfect!

Observing the difference in their individual characters will be endlessly entertaining, walks will be double the fun. Your understanding of your canine friends will deepen, you’ll respect the personal wishes of each dog, and all your lives will be the richer for it.

But it comes at a price. Is this a price you’re willing to pay?

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

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My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

I am sitting in the window of our local busy coffee shop, in a comfortable armchair, my coffee on the table beside me. Just inside the full-length window, by my feet, lies Lacy on her mat.

We can both relax after our morning outing - me in my armchair, she on her mat watching the world go by without barking at it.

She’s polished off the liver sausage foodtoy I prepared for her. She’s done a couple of tricks for a fingertip of cream from my coffee. She’s watched comings and goings and is now dozing on the mat, her chin resting on my foot.

She’s popular with the staff who are always pleased to see her. It’s a pleasant way for both of us to unwind after our morning’s work.

You may think this is all fairly unremarkable, but you should know that Lacy started out as a very reactive dog - she would get stressed and barky and appear ferocious at any approach, of dogs or people.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

So getting her to genuinely relax in a public place is an achievement of which I am proud and which we can both enjoy. A lot of what I teach here at Brilliant Family Dog is geared to growing your puppy’s or dog’s confidence and ability to relax. You can train all the sits in the world, but it’s no good if your dog is panting and gasping and pinging off the walls!

Horses for courses

Many dogs are sufficiently “wired” that they need help to learn this skill - especially with the growing popularity of placing working dogs in pet homes. This is a kind of square-peg/round-hole combo which needs careful management to succeed and not drive everyone - owner and dog - barmy.

Lacy has also gone through all the training I do in my premium programs - naturally, it’s one of the perks of being the boss’s dog! And the results have been as spectacular for her as for so many of my students. “I can’t believe how much our life has changed,” is a common cry after even the first Growly Dog lesson.

An awful lot of this has to do with how we act ourselves, and with our expectations: What you expect, you get! Gaining insight into why your dog does what she does is the way to make changes to accommodate her needs with minimum disruption to your daily life. And that’s the focus of the choice-based training I teach.

It’s a question of growing your confidence so you know what to do in any situation. Being able to settle your dog in a public place and flip her off-switch is a valuable skill.

Here’s a great way to get started with this skill

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog - in ebook, paperback, or audiobook - will help you to locate this hidden switch!

Don’t go without our free e-course to change life with your Growly Dog!

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We don’t need to CONTROL our dogs

This article first appeared on 2houndsdesign.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Really? No control?? I thought we had to control our dogs?

You’re right, of course! We want plenty of control, but we want our dog to be doing the controlling.

Think how we bring up our children. We teach and show them first, rather than yell at them for breaking rules they didn’t know existed!

Take toothbrushing, for example. First, we clean our toddler’s teeth for them. As soon as they’re capable they start doing it themselves - after a fashion - so by the time their permanent teeth arrive they’ve got into the habit. Then we switch to reminding them: “Did you do your teeth?” Eventually they understand why they need to do it, and we no longer need to even ask them (though they may need to be 24 before they reach this happy state!).

Same with our dogs.

There’s no need to nagnagnag them all the time, yanking on their lead, snapping at them, barking commands, pushing them into a sit or a down. This kind of carry-on simply destroys the relationship you could have with your dog, who just knows that whatever he does is wrong and waits for the inevitable correction and telling-off. And he probably has no idea why.

Switch this round though. TEACH your dog what it is you want, in a kind and loving way - just like your toddler and his toothbrush.

Yes, it will take a little time and patience - there’ll be misunderstandings and mistakes, like the toothpaste all over the floor and the pyjamas - but you’ll get there, together. Accompany your teaching with plentiful little tasty treats and you’ll quickly have your dog’s attention and willingness.

Once you’ve taught your dog what it is you like, there is never again any need to tell him off!

No “Noooooooos,” No “Ah-ahs”. Just “Would you like to walk here beside me?” and from him, “Sure, specially if there’s a piece of hot dog going begging . . .”

I don’t say NO to my own dogs

Don’t believe me? Well, you’re just going to have to suspend your disbelief, and hear me when I say that I don’t say NO to my dogs. I don’t say Ah-ah. I don’t try to guilt them into working for me.

I may say, “Really?” or “Where do you think you should be?”

I’m sad when a puppy-owner proudly says to me, “She knows the meaning of NO.”

“That’s a shame,” I may answer, “My dogs don’t know the meaning of NO because I don’t say it.”

And for a moment - let’s just look at what your dog does understand as “the meaning of NO”.

• It will mean that her owner has suddenly (and unaccountably) got cross with her.

• They’re shouting, possibly even manhandling her.

• And your puppy has NO IDEA what has happened to cause this.

As a result, the puppy may stop whatever he was doing, slink away, flatten himself to the floor, perhaps come to lick you to appease you . . .

But he does not understand what you think he understands when you say NO.

So you may now banish “No” from your interactions with your dog. Treat your companion as you would your family or friends. Life becomes instantly less stressful, and you’ll actually get the control you want!

We don’t need to control our dogs

We need to teach our dogs to control themselves! 

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

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Is life good for you and your dog?

Are you where you want to be in life?

Is everything going exactly as you would like?

It’s possible - that if you are dissatisfied with your life in general, you’ll also be dissatisfied with your dog.

They say that “How you do anything is how you do everything” - and this is so true! If you’re prepared to accept second-best in life, then you’ll probably be prepared to accept second-best in your life with your dog. Your dog doesn’t get a say in the matter!

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and learn a completely new approach!

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And nowhere is this more true than in your approach to problems. Many people see a problem, then accept it as a permanent and enduring truth - thinking it’s all someone else’s fault, or that they never get a break, or that they somehow don’t deserve to have this problem go away.

And the more you focus on the problem, the more that is exactly what you’ll get!

What you focus on is what you get!

One of the things that people find remarkable in my rather idiosyncratic method of dog training is that it’s more about training the owner than training the dog!

Once the owner changes how he sees his dog, and how to work with him - particularly using Choice Training - the dog miraculously transforms, becomes more biddable, more malleable, more responsive.

And a really important first step is to change how you see the world. 

Glass half empty?

If you’re a “glass half empty” type of person, you’ll always be looking for reasons something won’t work. Reasons why you can’t make it work. Reasons why whatever you do, life won’t change for the better. That the world is conspiring against you to keep you where you are.

With regard to your dog, you can find hundreds of reasons things can’t change. Reasons why you don’t have the time, the money, the resources. Reasons why it’s all the fault of your “stubborn” dog.

And as long as you hold those beliefs, you’re going to stay exactly where you are!

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. Wayne Dyer

Glass half full!

So let’s look at how you can start things improving right away! And let’s look at your life with your dog first.

Your dog is a sentient being. He has likes and dislikes, fears and fancies. Knowing what makes him tick will help you make the most of your time with your chosen companion.

Open yourself up to finding exactly what he likes. It can be food, or a certain type of treat; it can be a game of hide and seek, chase, playing with him with a favourite toy; going out in the garden, heading off for a hike; snuggling up with you on the sofa.

Because once you know exactly what he likes, you know exactly how to get the results you want! There’s no need to try to “control” your dog if you can actually control the things he likes. I believe it was Susan Garrett who coined the phrase - he who controls the rewards, controls the dog.

And it really is that simple. If you are able to produce a fitting reward every time your dog does something you like, you are going to become a magician in his eyes. He will do whatever he can to please you.

How will this help with pulling on the lead, running off, barking at other dogs?

Once you’ve taught him thoroughly how to walk nicely on lead or come when called - by catching him every time he does the smallest thing right and rewarding that choice - your relationship will develop to a level where he will trust you to know what’s right for him. He can even relax at the sight of another dog, because he knows you have his back.

And once you’ve got this going with your dog, how about looking at the rest of your life more kindly? How about seeing that changing things is up to you - you’re not a victim of capricious circumstance!

You can go to the ball, Cinderella! You can enjoy just as much of your life as you are open to enjoying. Switch your focus from “I can’t” to “Yes, I can!”

Want this kind of success for yourself? Here’s a FREE WORKSHOP to get you started!

Look how much these dog-owners’ lives improved!

I’ve been busy welcoming and “bedding in” the new students since the Workshop, and there are such lovely things being said that I thought I’d hand the stage to them today.

In their own words they will tell you just what membership of my programs and their communities means.

They say things that may resonate with you - especially when it comes to the camaraderie and support of the Communities, as well as the changes they’ve made through the program, which they had never imagined would be possible!

I get email queries daily from people struggling with their dog people at the end of their tether, people ready to give up their dog. And I can safely send them to join one of the Brilliant Family Dog programs, because I KNOW they can get the same results as these students below, however hopeless they may feel at the outset. (They do have to do a bit of work though! No magic wands available here …)

I am so glad I joined the Brilliant Family Dog Academy in addition to From Growly Dog to Confident Dog. I can’t begin to tell you all the changes that are beginning to happen as a result of the games we play. Charlie is no longer taking his behavioral supplement, he is not barking at vehicles that turn around in our driveway or trying to chase the mail truck, we can actually take walks using the walking belt, and he has stopped his barking at squirrels outside the window. The best part is I am beginning to learn what to do to manage the situations we may encounter. All of this in just  four months with your program. My dogs look forward to playing the games throughout the day and learning new things. Thank you for developing these courses. They are exceptional!

SB & Charlie, Academy and Growly Dog student

Paisley is a "growly" reactive dog: we are very excited about everything you have to offer! I have already learned some things from you that I have NEVER heard from any of the numerous trainers that we have been involved with. So - I am thinking there is still hope for us!

TC and Paisley, Academy student

Wow, our dogs are doing amazingly well, this training is causing miracles to happen! Never did I believe we’d get this far . . . 

CR and Lois, Academy and Growly Dog student

I certainly am looking forward to learning the choice way, it is so kind and gentle and I am feeling so comfortable with it and knowing I am doing the best I can to give Enya the time and space to make the right choices. I certainly think I have made the right choice choosing this training! Enya and I have a lot to learn, probably me more than Enya and already I am looking at things so differently, it’s a complete learning curve. Currently we are doing well with the first lessons and am learning so much by reading students’ posts in the Community. I cannot believe the amount of information there is on both courses and am finding it all invaluable and am so pleased I decided to do the courses.

CB and Enya, Academy student

I purchased the Academy program last year and didn’t regret it. The videos are brilliant.

AG and Dodger, Academy and Growly Dog student

Realising we aren't alone is a huge relief! Thank you Beverley, it's great knowing that you understand and are willing to pass on your knowledge to help so many owners struggling on a daily basis.

JB and Yogi, Academy and Growly Dog student

The turnaround in the last three days has been truly astonishing, the Beverley Magic is back! Right now I feel elated at how Beverley’s precision toolkit is opening up our lives! The structure of the games and the insistence on thinking beyond food as a reward have changed everything, as well as waiting EVERY TIME for Tay to make the choice, not tell him what I want.

JD and Tay,  Academy and Growly Dog student

You cannot know how helpful it is to me, having the interaction, communication, and connection that you can’t get from just reading.

CZ and Winston, Growly Dog student

 Beverley, we will continue on our amazing journey, I am so pleased you are a part of it. Feel proud of what you do, it is invaluable and really does make this world a better place, especially for the canines who live alongside us.

SM and Henna, Growly Dog student

The good news is that I can see that Rumpole and I have made loads of progress since starting this programme - we are both more confident (very rarely hear a low growl these days from either of us), lead walking is good, recall excellent, we are good friends (very good), Rumpole is more confident around other dogs off lead and can hold back or have a quick hello then move on, he can walk through a field of sheep (on lead) and not react and this morning did not bat an eyelid at a couple of horse riders who passed us.

JS and Rumpole, Growly Dog student

Just wanted to share how chuffed I'm feeling with Ginny. This past week she has walked past/near several dogs without a bark even though a couple barked at her. She has also said hello to some. This evening she walked across the road from 3 dogs being walked together and a couple of minutes later a deer ran across the road - she stared but didn't bark. A few months ago she would have been frenetic with all of this!! I never thought it would be possible - I’m so glad I didn't give up. The learning and structure of the Course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

AT and Ginny Growly Dog student

Thank you Beverley - your Communities are just fantastic, you have set the whole tone for support, friendly advice, constructive comments, a much-appreciated touch of humour, encouragement, keeping up enthusiasm . . . and more. It's a pleasure to be part of it, to dip in and out as life goes on and always to feel welcome.

JL and Boyo, Academy and Growly Dog student

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!