What happened yesterday is as gone as what happened a thousand years ago. Going over and over it won't change it. Today is our only reality.
There’s no “What if”s and “What did he mean by that”? There's only what happened - and that's gone now. Your perception will change as you pore over it and your version of what happened may be very different from someone else's version.
But here's the danger point.
You may ascribe all sorts of reasons and causes:
🧑🏼🦰 Did he do that because he doesn't like me?
🧑🏼🦰 Did she say that because it's true?
🧑🏼🦰 Is it because I'm no good?
🧑🏼🦰 Ugly?
🧑🏼🦰 Too young?
🧑🏼🦰 Too old?
And if it's about your dog:
🐶 Is he doing that on purpose?
🐶 Is he being stubborn?
🐶 Is he defying me?
🐶 Is he scheming against me?
🐶 Does this mean I'm a useless dog owner?
Our minds can run away with us, but it doesn't alter what happened.
We can only operate in the present moment. That's the only time we have.
Our thoughts create our feelings and it doesn't matter if those thoughts are right or wrong, as long as they help you.
Better questions lead to better answers!
So try starting with some better questions:
❓Could I have done anything differently?
❓Did my dog act this way from fear?
❓Does my dog need more help from me and how can I help him more?
Whenever we ask a negative question, we tend to get a negative answer. "Am I a useless owner?" Yes, you must be, since you ask.
So only ask questions which will bring you helpful answers! Then you can be sure your thoughts are helpful ones.
How does all this affect your relationship with your dog? Just the same as your relationship with anyone else!
If you ascribe evil motives to something your dog is doing, then you are naturally going to blame him and think that he lies there in his basket dreaming up new and terrible ways to shame you.
Of course he doesn’t! He's just a dog. He just does.
You know that really?
So don't let your mind run away helter-skelter with a lot of unhelpful nonsense.
Something happened. That's all. And it's up to us what we make of it. If we want to make it a big thing - a drama - then we're going to feel bad, upset, worried. But if we just see it as something that happened, see it as information for us, we can learn from it and move on.
So rather than “I’m a useless dog-owner with a difficult dog who doesn't like me”. how about “Oh, my dog barked at that dog. I will avoid dogs for a few days to give him a break.”
Dwelling in the past is not conducive to moving forward with fresh eyes, fresh ears and new experiences.
I'm on a mission to change the world, one dog at a time. Will your dog be one of them?
If this line of thinking chimes with you, have a look at my other blog at www.beverleycourtney.com/blog - I think it may appeal to you!