Brilliant Family Dog — Brilliant Family Dog

stubborn dog

What you expect is what you get - or, Be careful what you wish for!

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“He’s a terrier - he’s never going to come when he’s called!”

“You can’t teach a spaniel to listen. Their attention span is only a few seconds”

“My dog’s thick. It’s a waste of time teaching him anything.”

 

Really. People say these things. And they become self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you truly believe that your terrier will never come when he’s called, then guess what? He never will.

If you really think that your spaniel is incapable of focus, then you’ll never put in the work needed to build a team with him.

And if you truly think your dog is too stupid to learn anything, you have a cast iron excuse for never bothering to teach him.

Get-out clauses?

These are all lazy, get-out, clauses. You got a dog - you thought it would be a good idea - then found that it didn’t come with training and manners installed. You were expected to add these yourself? Oh no! Work required - application, dedication, education, understanding, patience … This all seemed too hard. Much easier to claim that your dog is untrainable and leave it at that.

Get your free email course here to learn how to teach your dog kindly and effectively.

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    I recently had an email which read: “I have two dogs, one is a perfect companion and the other is a challenge. She has many good points but does not take no for an answer and is very disobedient when she appears to be totally deaf.”

    So her first dog is perfect, and the second is not. (I wonder how much this had to do with the individual attention that No.1 got, while No.2 was tossed into the mix to sink or swim?) Her dog is disobedient, she doesn’t listen, and won’t take no for an answer.

    What a lot of labels in a couple of sentences! This poor dog is always going to struggle against her owner’s preconceived notion that she is difficult, stubborn, and uncaring. Whatever she does will be perceived as wrong, or potentially troublesome, while Dog 1 gets all the praise for being a goody-gumps. (Any of you younger children out there may recognise the same thing from your own family life, where there was one favoured child and one difficult one.) 

    And it’s likely that when she does do something right it’s either not noticed or greeted with “For once! At last …”

    This dog needs a program of training which caters to her own individuality, her own quirks and foibles. You cannot blossom when continually compared with someone else - you have to have a pride in your own achievements, done your own way.

    So my reply to this owner was along these lines: 

    “My dogs don't understand the meaning of NO either - why? I never say “no” to them. “No” doesn't give them any information about what you'd like them to do - only that you're cross with them. Try focussing only on what you do want, and rewarding that. Totally ignore what you don't want. Give it a week and see where you are!

    This is what a puppy-owner said to me this week:

    “Just thought that I would let you know that your brilliant idea of rewarding for the behaviour that we want has helped Odin to become a very calm and patient puppy when it's our dinner time. He will lie down nicely and play with his toys while we're eating. :)”

    This took her about 10 days to achieve.

    Come back to me in two weeks and tell me how you get on.”

     

    Sadly I didn’t hear from her again. So I guess Dog no.2 is still being shouted at.

     

    As the famous saying goes, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you always got.”

     

    There has to be change for change to happen. And the first change is in your mindset! All our dogs are capable of being trained, of learning new things, and of fitting into the household comfortably. Yes, it takes time, and all that dedication and self-education, understanding and patience, mentioned above. But is it worth it? What do you think?

     

    But what about my terrier / spaniel / dumb dog?

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    • To see just what terriers are capable of, take a look at Jesse the Jack Russell Terrier. You will be amazed! 

    • Think of what spaniels are bred for - hours and hours of tireless work in the field, focussing on one thing only - finding birds. They are capable of laser focus - if the reward is right you can teach your spaniel to focus on anything you like!

    • And as for our dumb dog … it’s true that some dogs are not blessed with as many brains as others. Cricket the Whippet will never beat Rollo the Border Collie in an initiative test, though if there is food to be found - she’ll find it! Her phenomenal speed is in her legs, not in the workings of her brain.  But she has plenty to offer, and once you’re on her wavelength you can teach her some very un-whippety things to do. Cricket - and Bolt, another whippet I know - have great retrieves.

    Here’s Cricket showing off her amateur dramatics

    You see? Her gift is in making us laugh!

     

    To find your way into the workings of your dog's brain so you can teach her just what you want her to learn, get our free 8-part email course with lots of tips and tricks for getting fast results!

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      Want to turn your dog into a star retriever? Check Fetch it! Teach your Brilliant family Dog to catch fetch, retrieve, find and bring things back! and enjoy a new relationship with your dog.

      Less control but more understanding saved this rescue dog

      • You couldn’t find a nicer pair of people. A smashing young couple whose lives were dedicated to helping others. So wouldn’t you think they’d be able to manage a new dog in their household?

      Sadly, no! Well-intentioned as they were, they had a fear of the dog doing something bad, and this gave them the wrong approach. 

      Jimbob was a rescue dog. He’d had a bad start in life, lived with someone who was harsh with him, and he’d developed lots of strategies for survival. When he arrived with his new owners, he simply carried on doing the things he’d learned. And they had no idea how to deal with this.

      His repertoire included:

      • Chewing everything

      • Escapology

      • Inability to relax

      • Destruction (his crate, his bed, furniture …)

      • Refusing to relinquish prize articles he’d found

      • Growling, teeth-baring, snapping

      Defiant and Stubborn?

      Jimbob’s owners had unwittingly managed to escalate the situation by challenging him over all of this. They misread his survival strategies as defiance, his refusal to comply as stubbornness. Fortunately when they realised they needed help they scrapped the coercive trainer they’d been going to and chose a force-free trainer, viz me.

      So we started to work with Jimbob instead of against him.

      His owners worked hard and made speedy progress. They were surprised not only at how willing Jimbob was to learn, but how easy it became to divert him from one of his annoying habits into one of the new games which they were teaching him. 

      After only a few sessions (and much dedicated homework from his family) Jimbob was happy to go into his crate and find the things given to him to chew there. He was free to rip up his own blankets if he wished and not a word would be said.

      He no longer growled or bared his teeth, because his owners now knew how to get what they wanted without threatening him. 

      • They started playing new games with him that engaged his breed-specific instinctive drives (hunting and sniffing, mainly)

      • They taught him tricks

      • They interacted with him in a relaxed way

      • They stopped trying to control this wayward creature and instead rejoiced in giving him more freedom

      • And they ended the day with a happy, sleepy dog!

      By the time their course was over, Jimbob could sleep in his crate while they worked at their desks, and was happy to rest there quietly when they were out.

       

      Before: “He steals food all the time. Destroys cushions, blankets, curtains, parquet flooring - happens daily. Growling, snarling.”

       

      After: “Thank you so much for all your help with Jimbob; he is certainly much less boisterous and we feel a lot happier and more confident in relating to him and encouraging him in his positive behaviours. It is actually easier than I thought to ask Jimbob to do something, rather than just telling him (or telling him off) all the time.”

       

      While I was able to give this couple lots of techniques to change Jimbob’s ways, it was the change in their attitude to their new pet that formed the basis of their success. 

      Is your dog or your little puppy throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Workshop and find how to change things fast!

       

      Find some of the strategies we used in the detailed lessons in this free e-course:

        THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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