Why is my dog reactive?

It’s natural for people to question things.

And especially when that “thing” is having a major unwanted effect on their life!

So “Why is my dog reactive?” is a question I hear often.

And the questioner often furnishes what they think the answer may be. These “reasons” can range from:

He’s a rescue dog

I think he was beaten

He missed out on socialisation

He was over-socialised

He was attacked as a puppy (“attacked” can mean anything from being stared at to being torn apart, I have learnt)

He had a bad breeder / bad breeding / bad start

We went to a bad puppy class

He never went to puppy class

.. and so it goes on.

Now whether any of those things are true, and - more to the point - whether they have any bearing on how your dog is now, can never be quantified.

Keen to learn more to help your Growly Dog? Get our free e-course here and get started!

Get your first Growly Lesson!

It’s been proven that fears can be hereditary. Even that the position in the womb can affect a puppy’s mindset! And while all the research goes on - you have a dog to look after.

The fact is that your dog is reactive!

.. or anxious, nervous, shy, “aggressive” …

This is what we know, for sure - so why not start there?

Start from where you are

It really doesn’t matter why your dog is reactive or fearful. He just is.

A family may have two or more children who are poles apart in character. Same parents, same genes, same environment, same diet, same everything.

And yet they are totally different. We all know families like this - maybe even have a family like this!

Perhaps one child is brave and fearless and dives into everything.

While another is shy and reserved, lacks confidence, and prefers to be a wallflower.

Thing is - we get the children we’re given! We don’t have too much say in the matter.

And we love them just the same.

Choosing your dog

So why not view your dog the same way?

Maybe you went to great lengths to choose a breed you thought would suit you, the gender that seemed right for you. You hunted till you found a good breeder, checked the lines, made your choice.

Or perhaps you took pot luck - picking a dog from a shelter, or inheriting a dog from someone else.

I can tell you now, that there is more variation between individuals than there is between breeds.

In other words, two dogs of the same breed - even from the same litter - will be individual. Not clones. Individual.

Your collie may be afraid of things that run fast, your spaniel may have no interest in using his nose, your GSD may be sound-sensitive, your lapdog may hate laps …

So, to some extent, no matter how carefully you choose, you are taking a gamble.

First of all, be kind

Your dog can’t help how he is. He didn’t choose to be afraid. He just is.

And fear of some kind, whether inbred or acquired, is at the bottom of most reactivity.

So let’s cut him some slack.

He may not be the dog you had hoped for.

He may never be a good agility dog, or working dog - which is why you got him.

He may never be comfortable in strange places, or with strange people or dogs.

But that’s not his fault!

It’s just the way it is!

No need for whywhywhy - it just is.

You chose him.

So you need to do what you can to make his life with you the best it can be. If that limits what you can do with this dog, then so be it.

More love on offer

Just about all the reactive dogs I have ever known are wonderful family pets. They are utterly devoted to their people. They are fun to have around - at home.

I’d go so far as to say there is no bond like the bond between your reactive dog and you.

You have to put so much work in to keep him - and you - happy.

And in so doing, you understand him so much better. You build his confidence, slowly but surely (this can take years).

And your dog knows (once he’s no longer a terrified screaming furry blob on a walk) that you love him and will protect him.

What better pet could you wish for?

Want some help with your challenging dog? Hop over to our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs, which gives you practical techniques you can use straight away to make your your dog - and your walks - calmer

How much does your dog sleep?

I make no apologies for revisiting this vital subject! So many of the queries I get can be resolved by simply allowing or encouraging your dog to sleep more!

Dogs need 17 hours of sleep a day to function well.

And this doesn’t mean snatched minutes of shut-eye when nothing is happening for a few moments!

It means proper, deep, uninterrupted sleep, for at least an hour at a time - and, of course, all night!

Teach ‘em young

And this doesn’t just happen without careful management.

In the same way that most responsible parents manage their babies’ and toddlers’ sleep sessions, teaching them that a sleep will cure lots of upsets, we have to teach our puppies how to manage themselves.

This is valuable learning.

We put small children in cots to make sure they can’t race around exhausting themselves when they need to rest.

In the same way, we can use crates or playpens to manage our puppies - who often won’t stop till they’re nailed to the floor!

I honestly don’t know how anyone manages a puppy without a crate or a playpen! I think that without these terrific aids we’re giving ourselves a huge amount of extra work and stress.

If you struggled to manage your youngster over the holiday period, now is the time to double down on teaching him or her how to sleep.

💤 Alone.  

💤  Contained.

💤 Without you.

💤 Without distraction.

You’ll be so glad you did!

And for more gems on managing your dog, check out the how-to books here!

Check other post that might help your brilliant dogs:

I have a new puppy: will I ever get any sleep again?

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

Puppy Crate training demystified

I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

Dog training books for you at special prices!

I’m delighted to be able to announce a new improvement here at Brilliant Family Dog!

My immensely popular dog training books are now available for you to purchase as ebooks direct from me.

This cuts out the middle man, and enables me to share the savings and give you a special price! It also ensures you get your book immediately, direct to the e-reader or reading app of your choice, e.g. Nook, Kobo, Kindle, etc.

In fact, you don’t need a physical e-reader at all, as we give you a free app for your phone or desktop where you can read the books.

How easy is that?!

BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS!

The books are, of course, entirely force-free, and aim to build a stellar relationship between you and your Brilliant Family Dog. They’re easy to follow, with plenty of troubleshooting and case studies.

Here’s where you go to find which book will be best for you:

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/books

And here’s what a couple of readers told me just recently:

“I have all your books and I am loving working my way with Tally steadily through them. So far Calm Down! and Let’s Go! Both are transformative. I recommend you wherever I go especially on the group dog walk I do on a Saturday.” AK

“Your books are just brilliant! I’ve read every one cover to cover and it’s a revelation. Honestly I’ve spent 40 years doing what I thought was right - I hope thanks to you I’m getting it more right than I used to!” JP 

For now, you can purchase ebooks or audiobooks directly from me - it won’t be long before you can buy paperbacks too! Exciting times … watch this space!

Here is a chart from Amazon showing six of my books in the top 35 dog training books chart!

“Thank you. Your first book is brilliant, it has taught ME so much.” RN

“Excellent book! Not only for newcomers. 5* ”

“I have a whole library of doggy books and I found yours concise, easy to read, and full of very useful tips.” JC

“Brilliantly written with a compassionate and understanding voice.” SM

“Clear, simple and easy to follow and remember. I've read similar books, but almost all are much more wordy and hard to remember.” CM

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/books

3 ways to walking your dog on a loose lead!

So many people struggle with their dog pulling on the lead. Sometimes even pulling them over and actually injuring them!

This is not the lovely companionable walk you envisaged when you got your dog!

The Holy Grail of dog ownership is to swan along, your dog trotting comfortably at your side, earning admiring glances from all those being towed along by their dog!

First of all I’d like to direct you to Let’s Go! Enjoy Companionable Walks with your Brilliant Family Dog - a complete program to teach your dog to walk on a loose lead. You can buy it direct from the author right here! at a special price too …   

And to see illustrative videos of dogs and puppies learning this skill, you’ll find the full program in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy. You can find out all about this hugely popular program in our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

But it’s true to say that sometimes we could do with a bit of help!

You may have been directed to lots of gadgets which are meant to solve this issue at a stroke.

But most of these clever gadgets (headcollars, slip leads, choke collars, retractable leads, prong collars, electric shock collars) are “aversive”. That is to say, the dog hates them and they can actually make the whole thing worse!

So what can you do?

Use a Harness

The first thing is to switch to a harness - but not any old harness. Some twist, some chafe, some are flimsy, some restrict movement, some hurt (!).

And keep in mind that there are “horses for courses”. The harness that will help you enormously with your dog on walks, is not the one you’d choose for an active sport like agility or flyball. You need a different harness for that, just as you have different clothes for tennis, dog walks, work, swimming, parties …

You need the right tool for the job, as any craftsman will tell you. You can’t make a whole cabinet with only a hammer!

Which harness?

The harness I find brilliant for loose lead walking is the 2Houndsdesign Freedom Harness

You can get it direct from me as I’m the main UK stockist. If you live anywhere outside the UK, this is where you will find it.

Why does it work so well?

The quickest way for you to see is in this video, transforming young Shadow from a choking, pulling maniac - bent forward scrabbling - to a dog walking in an upright, natural position, beside her astonished owner! The video covers a 20-minute lesson. That’s how long it took!

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “You’re selling these things, so you would say they’re good!”

But turn that around: “You’re selling these things because they are so good!”

I’d never recommend something I didn’t use and value myself

Proof of the Pudding

See what customers have written to tell me below. You’ll see that there are very large dogs, multiple dogs, and very small dogs.

This harness works!

"Walking is now a pleasure with the harnesses." Elsie, Dogue de Bordeaux and Marnie, Bullmastiff puppy, both in Medium, Herefordshire 

"Just wanted to say the harness is an absolute triumph. I have to say I honestly didn't enjoy walking my pulling boxer, however it is now a pleasure not a chore. Thanks for bringing the harness to the UK. It's been a godsend." Cooper the Boxer in Purple Medium, Merseyside

"Harness and multipoint lead have been fantastic - highly recommend it!" Rosie Doberman in Medium, Worcester

“Have been using the harness for a month now and am pleased to report that it has significantly helped me control Max when out walking and restored my confidence and enjoyment in taking him out. Without it he would be confined to exercising in our fields as he was to strong for me to control even with a headcollar.” Jane, XL Royal Blue

“Performance-wise this tiny harness is like a miracle: at last we have four paws on the path even with a passing cat! I don't know how the design can so alter the centre of gravity but it certainly works, I feel like stopping every dog walker I see and sharing the secret.” Bertie, Toy Poodle in Extra Small Teal

“When we started classes with Beverley with our 3 year old rescue mini Dachshund we were told about the Wiggles Wags and Whiskers 2Hounds Design Freedom Harness. My husband’s feelings were, ‘Oh here we go, the sales pitch’. I find being dragged up the road by a young dog somewhat exhausting so I decided to invest in this harness.  Well I am so glad that I did, our walks have been transformed! I can control Chester so much better, and the strain both mentally and physically no longer exists. It’s not a sales pitch to make money, it really does benefit both dog and human. Even my husband is a convert!” Chester, Dachshund, in Extra Small

And just before you start teaching the all-important walking nicely on a lead, check out this mini-course that gets you started with some foundational lessons!

Do you hit your dog?

Of course you don’t hit your dog!

You wouldn’t be here in Brilliant Family Dog if you did!

But the thing is, you don’t need to actually hit someone for them to feel bad about you.

This is so for dogs as well as for people.

Different forms of punishment

So you may ignore your dog. Lots of “dog trainers” tell you to do that.

Now imagine how you’d feel if a loved one ignored you! Refused to speak to you!

🐕 Wouldn’t you creep and crawl inside?

🐕 Feel like a worm?

🐕 Wonder what you’ve done to upset them?

🐕 No idea how to put things right?

That’s just how your dog would feel!

I think that if I offended someone, I’d much rather they explained to me how I had done so, so that I could put it right in the future, and not repeat my mistake.

So you can do the exact same with your dog.

Just show him that what he did didn’t work. Ask him again, and when he gives the smallest hint of doing what you’d prefer, reward that - fast and fully!

Dogs are Doers. They are not Not-Doers.

Leaving your dog in a vacuum of silence will not help him understand one bit.

Old saws are not necessarily right!

There’s a saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I couldn’t disagree more!

How someone feels about you is so important to you! If someone is unkind to you, or unfair, doesn’t that hurt? With real pain?

If they say harsh things, wag a finger, shout in your face, isn’t that frightening?

Your dog is the same!

Punishment rewards the punisher

You see, punishment rewards the punisher.

The only person who benefits is the person doing the punishing, in whatever form - whether hitting, shouting, abusing, belittling - they are the ones who get a gratifying feeling. Some even get a visceral thrill.

While punishment does little good to the one being punished.

Yes - it may temporarily suppress behaviour (just long enough for the so-called trainer to cash your cheque) - in the presence of the punisher. But it’s not going to stop it, because there is no CHOICE involved on the part of the victim.

Giving your dog, or child, or friend, or colleague, a choice in how they respond is critical for them to learn and want to repeat that choice.

Losing your temper

Yep! I put my hand up, along with the rest of the universe! We can all lose our temper, get frustrated, reach the end of our tether.

But if you give in to the moment and - even just yell at your dog - how does it make you feel?

Do you feel proud of yourself?

Or do you realise that you have just taken a chunk out of your relationship with your dog, which will have to be restored double-quick?

And what if children were watching? What have they learnt, about you, about how to manage people, how to manage animals?

What if another adult was watching? What do they now think of you? Do you like what they’re thinking?

Looking at things from an outside point of view can help us see more clearly what we are doing!

Yes, we can all have uncharacteristic outbursts. But before you justify yourself to yourself by saying the dog was driving you mad, was not listening, was being deliberately difficult - keep in mind that your dog is from another species. He doesn’t understand verbal language (he associates sounds, sure, but not as we do).

We are honoured to be able to forge an unbreakable bond with the dog in our care.

We are blessed to have this learning every day - of working out why creatures (people or dogs) do what they do, and how we can get them to fit in with our plans without any coercion, force, or intimidation.

Gobbledygook!

And if this all sounds like outer gobbledygook, do watch my free Workshop here . It shows you what may possibly be a new way to relate to your dog.

As this correspondent says:

“Your teaching is a revelation! Honestly I’ve spent 40 years doing what I thought was right. Now, as soon as my new puppy chooses to do something I want she gets a reward. I hope - thanks to you - I’m getting it more right than I used to.” JP

And that dog-owner had learnt all that from my books! Want to see what you can learn too? Head over to this page. And we can both benefit from you buying direct from the author (that's me!)

How long will it take to train my dog?

Hmm - how long is a piece of string?!

How long did it take to train your child, your spouse, yourself?

The answer is surely that the training never ends. It’s an ongoing daily process.

As we change, and as our dogs change, we need to modify and re-apply our teaching to accommodate the new situation.

Your child was pointing to letters when very small. Then they began to read words, then sentences, then - huzzah! - whole books!

But it didn’t stop there.

Once they could read a book for a six-year-old, they had to keep on learning, to be able to read a book for a twelve-year-old, a twenty-year-old, a university graduate, a PhD …

They had to learn how to read a book which needed careful study, and they also learned how to read a light beach-read. Both have their place, and both need a different approach. One that we develop with experience.

The learning never ends!

So will it take more than a week to grasp a new skill?

You bet!

And if you’re thinking about teaching your dog a new skill, have a heart.

• Do remember that they are from a different species.

• They do not have verbal communication.

• They see everything through the lens of “will this work for me?”

In the Brilliant Family Dog Academy, the lessons are laid out in weeks. This is not so that you can complete a week, sign off, and never re-visit that teaching!

Rather it’s to ensure that people work through the learning in the right order. The dog has to learn to “point to the letters” before he can read a book for a twelve-year-old!

A Quick Fix

Training your dog is not about finding a quick fix.

It’s about developing a bond between you that encompasses understanding, love, surprise, and mutual respect.

And that, as we know, takes a lifetime.

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!

If you'd like a sneak peek at the lessons in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy check out this mini-course!