I can’t tell you how many times people tell me that their new dog doesn’t measure up to their old dog.
Sometimes they’re comparing their new puppy with a devoted and much-loved pet who died aged 15, having spent his last few years in a quiet retirement.
He fitted their family like an old shoe.
And, unaccountably, they expect the new puppy to take up where the old dog left off, complete with the lifetime’s learning.
When you look at it, you can see how daft this is!
But we seldom look at things this clearly.
We so enjoyed life with the old dog that we’d like to carry it on uninterrupted.
And when you step back and reflect, you can see clearly that this is an unrealistic expectation to place on the newcomer’s shoulders.
But it doesn’t seem to stop us doing it!
Hidden standards for our dogs
There’s also the fact that you get your dog with a vision of your future together.
🐾 This may include an active dog sport … and your dog turns out to have bad hips and can’t compete.
🐾 It may be long tramps over hill and moor … and you got a lapdog who is quite unsuited to this.
🐾 Or it may be that you enjoy social activities with friends and their dogs .. and your dog is of a nervous and timorous disposition and does not enjoy these outings one bit.
Reality check!
The thing is, you have to work with the dog in front of you, not the one you wish you had!
You can never turn an apple into an orange, however hard you try.
And you can’t change your dog’s intrinsic nature. That is doomed to failure.
You can certainly teach him, and improve things - dramatically!
But he’s still who he is.
And accepting this is the only way forward.
“But all my dogs love xyz!”
That doesn’t mean that this one will - or indeed should!
How many times do you see children in the same family - same parents, same school, same ethos, same upbringing - but who are polar opposites in character?
You can have all the nature vs nurture discussions you like, but when it comes down to it, your dog (or child) is who he is, and the sooner you accept that and discard your rose-spectacled vision of who you thought he should be, the better!
Enjoy the journey!
And part of living with another creature is finding out what makes them tick. What they like. What they don’t like. How to please them, and how not to upset them.
Judging your dog will never help!
Your new dog will never measure up to the memory of your old dog.
Don’t set him a target he can never reach.
Instead, rejoice in his individuality and work with the dog who’s right there, in front of you (or on your lap).
That’s the way to find true harmony with your new dog.
Need a bit of help with a Growly Dog? Watch our free Masterclass and talk to us in the chat about your particular issues with your dog.
We’d love to help you make the changes you’re looking for.
