I am firmly of the belief that we are sent the dog we need. The dog who needs to teach us.
And if your dogs all seem to misbehave in the same way, it’s because you haven’t yet learnt the lesson the first dog was trying to teach you! So you get the “same dog” over and over again.
This is not confined to dogs, by the way. We all know people who keep having failed relationships with the “same person”. And folk who persist in the same way of communicating or working which always results in the same disappointment and frustration.
Who is your best teacher?
It may have been an actual, official, teacher. Or your mother, your grandfather, the man in the corner shop, trees, a child, the sky, yourself.
And the lessons may not be the lessons you expected! You are being shown what works, and what doesn’t work.
As James Wedmore puts it,
You either get the result you want, or the lesson you need to learn.
There is no failure, in other words. You always get a result - but it may be a surprise to you . . .
Is your best teacher your dog?
Let’s look at your dog again.
If your dog is ruling the roost it’s because he’s teaching you better than you’re teaching him!
I’m perplexed when I see how people mistakenly treat their 8-week-old puppy as if he has the knowledge and wisdom of the ages.
He doesn’t!
He knows nothing!
I know they’re not nasty people - they have been misled into this way of thinking, by tv personalities who claim to be dog trainers, and by popular perception and old wives’ tales..
But expecting him to “know”, or to “behave”, is as unreasonable as expecting the same of an 8-week-old baby.
In every interaction, one participant is shaping the other.
That is to say, one is calling the shots and the other is complying. This never has to be nasty - imagine you’re dealing with that small baby. There is no assumption of right or wrong, no blame, no shame - just getting things working well, for both of you.
I never want to enforce obedience. I would far rather manage my dogs so that they choose to do what I would like them to do.
And it’s entirely possible!
Though you may need to make some mental adjustments yourself:
🐾 Ditch the concept that you are superior to your dog.
🐾 Ditch the idea that others must obey your “commands”.
🐾 Scrap the thought that failure to comply is outright rebellion and must be quashed!
Have a look at what this Brilliant Family Dog Academy student had to say, two months into her program:
I’m delighted and love that the dogs seem to be deciding what it’s best to do, so that life is calmer and simpler, and a proper partnership. Thank you, Beverley. MC
Want to know how she achieved this?
Watch our free Workshop to get your dog to listen, and find out just how much of the learning is for you!
Once you change what you’re doing, your dog will automatically change. Exciting!
And when you reflect on all of this, you may find you could do with a bit of help and healing in order to change where you are in all aspects of your life.
Drop me a message and we can have a conversation about how you can achieve what it is you truly want in this one precious life of yours!