Is your dog obedient? Or is he happy?

The old-fashioned emphasis on “obedience” has led a lot of people astray.  

It’s strange that this fixation on obedience was abandoned in schools a long time ago. The pupil’s wellbeing and engagement is rated much more highly.

Blind obedience is only expected in the armed forces, not in everyday life!

And yet people still have an expectation that their dog should instantly and without thought OBEY their every “command”.

It’s all the wrong way of looking at it.

 

Happiness leads to “obedience”

The long and the short of it is that if you take care of your dog’s physical and emotional wellbeing, you’ll automatically have an “obedient” dog.

Why?

Because dogs are easygoing creatures who, like us, value a warm bed, a full stomach, and a life free of conflict. And like us, we appreciate those that provide those things.  

So naturally, dogs are ready to comply with whatever works to provide these essentials and these comforts. 

We just need to tap into that mutual admiration, and you will have a confrontation-free environment, a compliant and happy dog, and a happy owner!

Read this article in Psychology Today for more on this.

“But my dog …..”

If your dog does not fit this happy model, I suggest there are things happening that are interfering.

It’s not that your dog is disobedient. It’s that something in your relationship is missing.

Do watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN! There’s plenty of sound advice there, and a lesson which people find amazingly transformative. If you only learn one thing, let it be this game!

You *can* train your dog - with a bit of help!

I get a lot of mail. People have endless questions - and I’m happy to point them in the right direction. I take the time because it’s part of my mission of helping dogs.

But it’s sad when I get the third or fourth email from the same person. And they’re asking the same question as they did in their first missive!

I give them the same answers. Again.

Trouble is, their dog is now many months or even years older. Whatever their issue was is now entrenched, a habit.

If they’d only followed my suggestion the first time round, their issue would be long gone!

Why are they not helping their dog?

So I wonder .. why is this?

And the unfortunate conclusion is that they think that by asking me the question, they’ve solved the problem!

They don’t seem to realise that they actually have to DO something to put the advice into practice.

And before you throw up your hands and say, “How could anyone be so stupid?” just think of when we’ve asked someone’s advice .. did we always take it? Hmmm 🙄

Or did we perhaps think, “That’s too hard - I can’t do that!”

It could be for reasons of finance, commitment, time.

But here’s the thing: if you really wanted to fix your problem, you’d do what it takes to fix it!

And what it takes could be more than you’re currently able to manage on your own.

What it comes down to is lack of support.

You can fervently wish to change the thing that’s bothering you with your dog, but the advice given just seems too hard to do with the knowledge and experience you have right now.

That’s why you need to use someone else’s knowledge and experience!

We can’t know everything. We can’t be good at everything.

We need the humility to recognise when we’re beat, and that we need to ask for help.

I want help with my dog!

This is why students do so well in my programs. They recognise that they can’t do it alone, and they get that help.

The 1-1 coaching is available for as long as you like. You never get thrown out of the program - this is actually unusually generous. Many programs are for only a year, then you’re out. In mine - you just stick around and make friends!

My programs have continual input from me and my experienced trainer team. You never have to do this alone!

In From Growly Dog to Confident Dog, for instance, there are regular Coaching Calls with individual coaching.

Here’s what some of our Brilliant Family Dog students have to say:

“I am over the moon with the course and can see improvements every day. I am so happy I found this program. Thank you Beverley and Trainers.” DD

“Your communities are just fantastic! You have set the whole tone for support, friendly advice, constructive comments, a much appreciated touch of humour, encouragement, keeping up enthusiasm ... and more. It's a pleasure to be part of it, to dip in and out as life goes on and always to feel welcome.” JL

“I have started week two of the training with her and am already telling others how amazing the course is. If I'd only found Brilliant Family Dog before I got her!! I think your program is absolutely fabulous. Really enjoying the training.” LB

“Many thanks for being you! and for all you have taught me. My puppy is so different to all my expectations, because of you. Your training truly is brilliant!” CN

“I can’t start to explain how happy I am with the help and support I’ve had in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy, and its carefully-structured training.” SW

“Seems to me that you wear many different hats .... dog trainer, people trainer, educator, counsellor, support/outreach, author, etc - awesome!” LA

“Beverley, we will continue on our amazing journey, I am so pleased you are a part of it. Feel proud of what you do, it is invaluable and really does make this world a better place, especially for the canines who live alongside us.” SM

Want to get started with this guided learning?

Are dogs sentient beings?

Of course if you’re delving in www.brilliantfamilydog.com then you are fully on board with that idea!

Dogs think and feel. They feel pain, grief, affection. They feel fear, loss, joy and sadness.

We who live with the beasties know that.

But it’s horrifying to think of all those who either don’t know it, or simply deny it.

Here in the UK we can celebrate the efforts made to successfully get the new The Animal Welfare (Sentience) Act 2022 passed. It is now law.

Animals’ feelings must be considered when legislation concerning their treatment or environment is made.

And here in the UK a new law emphasises this sentience by making it a crime carrying up to five years' jail for stealing an animal.

The recognition of animals as sentient beings has been enshrined in EU law for a long time. And there are similar assurances of animal sentience in the USA.

Will other countries follow suit?

 

Insects too

Meanwhile, for those of you interested in all this, here’s an article from the Washington Post, The Consciousness of Bees.

It’s a fascinating read, showing that bees too experience fear and hope. They can think in order to solve problems, and have extensive learning memories, even recognising human faces.

Let us know what you think in the comments below!

Meanwhile, to find more about building a life with your dog that embraces mutual learning and excludes fear - watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

Do you “command” your dog, or do you “ask” him?

We’re all brung up proper - right?

And that means being polite! Asking nicely! Saying thank you!

And we have learnt down the years that that is the best way of getting people to do what we’d like.

“I wanna cup of tea!” or “Gimme a sandwich!” are less likely to get a result than “I’d love a cuppa - could you make me one, please?” and “How about a sandwich - could you do it?”

We know that! Of course we do!

What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

So why is it that when we talk to our family and friends we speak one way, then for our friend the dog, we think we have to order them about?

Why go from polite requests to “commands”?

Sometimes I hear people proudly saying, “My dog knows the meaning of NO!”

And I can honestly say, “Mine don’t.”

Why? Because it’s a word I don’t use with them. And I didn’t use it with my children either.

What do I say instead?

“Is that a good idea?”

“Where should you be?”

“Where do toys/wellies/coats go?”

and when all else fails, “Who’d like a treat?” always gets a great response!

Far better to show them what you’d like, with good reasons for them to choose to comply, and go through your day without the tension that a “command” brings.

You see, it’s not just that we want the dog to sit, or whatever.

When you issue a command, it challenges the recipient of the order to comply.

It’s a conflict-driven word.

“You do what I say or else!”

And if they choose not to follow your instruction, what then? You’re in a battle!

It’s so much easier not to put yourself in that position of demanding blind obedience and then having to deal with resistance or dismissal.

Life is easier when you *ask* your friends and family to do things for you, and that includes your dog!

Is your dog chasing his tail?

Some people mistakenly think tail-chasing is cute! But I’m afraid it’s far from cute.

It’s what’s known in the trade as an Abnormal Repetitive Behaviour (ARB) - a bit like OCD in humans - and not only can the tail-chasing get worse, but it can spread to a lot of other unwanted activities, like chasing lights or reflections. ARBs can get worse over time, and may need meds to help eliminate them.

If it becomes extreme, the dog can lose the hair of his tail from grabbing it.

So we need to look at why your dog is chasing his tail, and then what to do about it.

Why the tail-chasing?

It could be that parasites, internal or external, are causing this tail fixation. Maybe it’s simply developed out of boredom, and it can be seen in kennelled dogs who get no mental stimulation. Or it could be a distraction behaviour your dog has developed when he’s overwhelmed.

Just as with any behavioural change, the first thing to do is have a thorough vet check to rule out hidden pain or any underlying problem. This is really important, and may uncover something that is lurking.

Then how to change it?

Interrupt!

The best thing to do is interrupt any things your dog does that you don’t want him to do. That doesn’t mean by yelling NOOO! It simply means you distract him into something you’d prefer he did.

First of all, you want to teach something else that he can’t do while he’s spinning (that’s most things! But a DOWN would do well here).

Make sure he knows it inside out, that he always gets a massive reward from it - top quality treats and fun - and that he’s happy to perform this trick anywhere, any time, any place. 

Then you have to keep your eyes peeled! You have to notice what triggers the spinning, and get in there fast with your Down cue.

Getting him to lie down before he starts the spin is best. But even if he spins then lies down, this is a start - and don’t forget! Always heavily reward this Down.

This is not going to change overnight! You have your work cut out, and I would focus on just this for at least a week, then see where you are with it.

Down? Or Ball?

Another thing that can work well to forestall the spinning is to toss your about-to-spin dog a ball. Be careful that he doesn’t think he has to spin in order for you to throw the ball!

Just as with the Down, there need to be lots of occasions when the ball is thrown in the total absence of any tail-chasing.

You’re offering your dog an alternative to spinning - something he can choose to do instead of the tail-chasing. So it has to be good! And it has to be ultra-rewarding for him to choose it instead of relapsing into his previous habit.

Here’s what Edwina had to say about how she eliminated spinning from her adopted Collie’s life. She said, “Bud chased his tail whenever we weren't doing anything.”

At first she’d tried to praise not-spinning, but found there was a danger of creating the sequence that he must spin to be able to stop and get the reward! So I suggested she interrupt the spin before it started.

“Bud has a fairly good down cue no matter how far away he is. I know when he is likely to spin and although I was sometimes a moment late I caught him before a full-blown spin and so he was happy to lie down. I calmly praised verbally, waited a moment and then released him. Initially he would quickly go into the spin again so I would give the down again as fast as I could. The next time I waited a little longer to release. It didn't take many spins before he seemed to realise nothing was happening and he was free to wander.

He isn't completely free of spins yet but he is so much better it is hardly an issue now.”

Abnormal Repetitive Behaviours

So you can see that this “cute” spinning is not so cute after all! If your dog is showing signs of developing one of these fixations, you need to act fast to stop it becoming debilitating.

How to teach your dog useful tricks

Teaching tricks is such fun! And the joy of it is that the way your dog does the trick is how it should be - for him.

There’s no Obedience Competition judge lopping half a mark here and half a mark there, because when he does a Sit Pretty your dog waves his paws around, or dangles one of them.

It’s just pure fun - for both of you. And if he’s dangling a paw, how cute is that?

And these “dog tricks” can also be incredibly useful. My dogs help me unload the washing machine, and can reach right in to get the garments that stick themselves to the back of the drum. They regularly fetch my shoes or my jumper for me, pick up anything I drop, help me take off the duvet cover on laundry day, pull off my socks - and any other game I offer them.

I’m perfectly capable of doing all these “Assistance Dog” tasks for myself - it’s just fun to involve the dogs.

 And they love it!

So what’s the trick to teaching a dog trick?

Many people go at this backwards. They think of the finished result they want, and start at the end. “Pick it up!” they say, or “Roll over!”, and their dog looks at them in puzzlement, having no idea what they’re wanting.

So what you want to do is turn this round and start at the beginning - the beginning that makes sense for your dog.

Getting him to CHOOSE to do what you want is the very best way, but sometimes a little luring doesn’t go amiss.

But the main thing is that apart from enthusiastic encouragement, keep your mouth shut!

Here’s the secret: You only add the vocal cue - your chosen words - to describe what your dog is doing, when he’s confidently and happily doing it.

Gradually he’ll associate the sounds coming from your mouth with the action he’s making at the time.

That’s the way round it goes!

 

Emptying the washing machine

And you need to work out the steps towards your trick in advance. If you want your dog to empty the washing machine for you, she’ll need to have a good, gentle, retrieve. Ripping up all the clothes in her excitement is no good!

So you’ll start with getting that gentle retrieve. Here’s where you can get a step-by-step system for both a play retrieve and a controlled formal retrieve: Fetch It! Teach you

Once you’ve got a lovely retrieve to hand, of whatever delicate item you want - tv remote, car keys, jumper … then you can simply add your vocal cue and transfer the exercise to the washing machine.

So there’s no mystery here - it’s a step-by-step process that your dog will understand and enjoy.

And who knows, one day you may be glad of a helper in your home!