It always makes me sad when I see someone who thinks they’ve reached the limit of their potential.
It saddens me because they have put these limits on themselves. They may have got the idea from other people that they should stay in their box, keep quiet, not rock the boat. Or they have more pernicious beliefs to keep themselves under wraps - like “Who do you think you are?” “Who asked you anyway?” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
If people say these things to you enough times you can actually come to believe them! It may have been the throwaway comment of an exasperated teacher - but it burrowed deep into your soul and has festered there for a lifetime.
It can happen so easily to us. A casual remark, a quick snipe, a condemnation born of frustration . . . and it has this desperate and lasting effect on our confidence.
What’s this got to do with dogs?
So how about your dog? Was there a time when you cursed him? (You’d be unusual if you’ve never wanted to!) Was there a time when you spoke dismissively of him? Have you ever called him insulting names, even apparently in jest? A nickname which was expressed in the moment and has somehow stuck?
You see, I find that people who refer to their dog by rude names, even fairly mild ones, colour their own perception of their dog. They may not realise they’re doing this, but it’s a pernicious drip-drip of scorn and derision that is damaging for everyone concerned.
What we call something matters because it shapes how we think of it. Karen Overall
It’s essential to clean up your thinking!
These thoughts you may be having - of insufficiency, guilt, shame, or your dog’s hopelessness - will all become embedded in your mind, and become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
What you focus on is what you get.
What you think about most becomes your reality.
Whether this be “I’m useless,” or “My dog is stupid,” think about it hard enough and it will come to pass.
All change!
But it doesn’t have to be like this! You can start monitoring your own thoughts and the words you use in relation to your dog. Stop yourself when you’re talking to or about her, and check whether what you said was actually helpful, will help you move forward.
But the deep ingrained beliefs we have about ourselves may need a bit more digging to get the change you want. To be able to spread your wings and achieve what you know you really can in life. To do all those things you wanted to do - but just never felt ready for.
What dreams have you been stifling?
I’d love to help you with this, as I have helped others in the same predicament! Contact me and let’s open a conversation about how you can change things and have a brighter future - whether for your dog or for that very important person: yourself.