A new puppy PLUS a reactive dog: can it work?

I had this query from a reader recently, whose heart is clearly in the right place:

“I have a reactive/aggressive 8 year old I did not have from a puppy. As she has gotten older she has calmed down a bit however, we do not trust her around other dogs and do not even try to socialise her. She will cry, whine and sometimes growl which can be embarrassing.

I have longed for a dog that I can take everywhere with me and can get along with all dogs and people. I am considering getting another dog that is a little bit older than a young pup.

We do plan on introducing them slowly with the new dog being outside and our older dog inside watching through the window, then keeping them behind closed doors in the house etc.

One of my main worries is jealousy and the new dog picking up bad habits from the older dog. I also worry around the unfairness of walking them separately or is this something they will both quickly adjust to?

How do I make sure the new dog does not being aggressive also?”

Lots of questions here! And a few misconceptions too. Here was my reply to this caring owner:

“Well done on helping your dog get calmer - but don’t be embarrassed when your dog shows she’s uncomfortable! She’s giving you information. If others don’t understand, that’s not your problem - they will be impressed by your care.

New dog - I think you’d be better off with an 8wo pup. You’ll bring out the maternal instincts in your resident dog and she won’t see this baby as competition. Follow this article on introducing a puppy to a reactive dog to ensure a safe introduction and development.

Also, the young puppy will sleep so much that you’ll have plenty of time to give to your adult dog!

Walking separately is not unfair - most dogs prefer this undiluted time with their special person. I have four dogs and they all get their special times of solo walking with me.

There are a number of resources - from free to premium - on www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/how-best-can-you-help-your-dog-learn to help you. Do take advantage of them!”

As to how to introduce the older dog to the new puppy - and this goes for ANY older dog and puppy, not just a reactive dog - there is valuable information in that introduction article.

You can’t get a puppy and just chuck it into a multi-dog household and let it sink or swim. The outcomes are most unlikely to be what you’d like! There are plenty of parallels with children whose parents abdicate responsibility and the children rear themselves alongside their equally unguided peers. This can lead them down many unwanted paths . . .

So start as you mean to continue! Lots of 1-1 attention for each dog individually, and the puppy is reared more or less separately. After all, a puppy has a completely different physical timetable, with different requirements for training and exercising, so it makes sense.

Having a multi-dog household with the different characteristics of every dog within it is enchanting. They are so different!

And they need to be allowed to be. And not regarded as a pack.

Here’s a good place to start with your new pup:

Want a step-by-step guide to everything you need to know about your new puppy? Get New Puppy! here and start on the right paw!

Those early months are SOOOO important!

Let me know how you get on.

Dog-Walk away your woes!

We are special people!

We have been given a tremendous gift!

We have a DOG!

It can be easy to let your life woes overcome the beauty of your relationship with your dog. So easy to worry about shopping lists, difficult partners, the weather, the world … possibly even worrying about your dog’s behaviour.

But the greatest thing you can do for yourself and for your dog, is to take a leaf out of his book, and live in the present!

Meeting trouble halfway

We have a tendency to worry ourselves into a spiral - a seriously downward one!

We either dwell in the past, worrying over what’s happened, or lurch into an uncertain future where everything seems to go wrong.

What’s past is over and done with, and can’t be changed - however much you worry over it.

And what’s to come is completely out of our control!

All we can do is deal with the present - as it happens. Just as your dog does.

Headaches

We also have a tendency to crave a quick fix.

Whether that’s a quick fix for our difficult dog or a quick fix for a real or a figurative headache.

As far as the dog is concerned, there are few quick fixes, except those promised by people who espouse methods I wouldn’t use on an earwig, never mind a sentient, affectionate, being, like a child or a dog or a partner!

Change in your dog’s behaviour is effected by slowly building the bond between you by removing blame and punishment from your existence. I’m not suggesting you beat your dog! You wouldn’t have got this far down this page if you did.

But just misunderstanding someone can be punishing - it suppresses the response you’d like. This is where those cries of “My dog is stubborn!” come from. A total misunderstanding of how to relate to a creature from another species without shouting, blaming, attempting to control him.

So, know that huge changes can be made in how your dog behaves - whether running off, or barking at other dogs - once you change yourself!

And as for that headache, grab the lead and take your dog for a quick 10 minutes round the block. (Dog too reactive to walk near you? Bundle him into the car and whiz off to somewhere quiet and empty.)

Enjoy a few moments with your dog. Enjoy his enjoyment. Relax and clear your head.

Don’t be worrying about what to say to your boss; how you can make the housekeeping last till the end of the week; how you can get your project finished …

Enjoy this oasis of calm with your ever-present dog. Follow his lead and explore the sights (while he explores the smells!) of your surroundings. Enjoy the soft rain on your face, the wind in your hair, the butterflies and the birds.

What’s quicker for resolving those headaches? This method or headache pills?

 

FOOTNOTE: If walks are difficult for you

Are you finding dogwalks uncomfortable because your dog wants to pull you hither and yon - possibly landing you on your face? This would certainly make it hard to enjoy your dog’s company when out!

So get Let's Go!: Enjoy Companionable Walks with your Brilliant Family Dog and change your dog walks for the better - fast!

If you like listening, you can get the audiobook direct from the author and listen while you walk and train!

5* review at Amazon

This is a great little guide to hassle-free walks with your dog. I have a lovely but enthusiastic cockapoo who was taking me for a walk rather than the other way around. She was constantly pulling on her lead and it had become a real worry. Thanks to the exercises and advice in this book, she is now walking by my side, rather than constantly trying to be in front of me and walks are a lot more enjoyable. I would definitely recommend this book.

Puppy Crate training demystified

I wish I'd known this trick for my first few dogs! Crate training is the answer to caring for a new puppy. It keeps him out of harm’s way – from overexcited children, older dogs, clumsy feet, jealous cat, car wheels – and all the hazards a tiny puppy can meet. 

And then, when you're ready to give him your attention, out he comes: to play, interact with children and other household pets, to eat, and – Importantly! – to relieve himself.

Chewing, too …

Crate training is the answer to unwanted puppy chewing too. If you leave him in his crate when you go out, then the only thing he can chew are his bones and chew-toys, so when you come back there can be a blissful reunion unmarred by the horrors of discovering your dining room table with a gnawed leg, the computer cables chewed right through, or your favourite jumper loved to death.

To acclimatise your pup to his crate is simple: just bring him home and put him in it! He’s a baby, he’ll fit in with what you want, don’t worry. The less fuss you make about this the easier it is.

Teaching an older dog to enjoy his crate takes a little more time, but if you encourage him slowly and gradually with treats, feed all his meals there (without at first shutting the door on him) he will soon cheerfully go there of his own accord, knowing this is his own den.

I would choose a wire crate that will fit your puppy for the next six months to a year. You don’t want something massive. The smaller the crate the easier it’ll be to manoeuvre. The best crates are lightweight tough mesh with a metal pan. They fold up for transporting - really useful for travel - and are very easy to clean.

You can get crates tailor-made for your car too. This is essential for transporting your puppy safely – and legally. A dog loose in the car is considered “an unsecured load” and can cause much damage to other occupants of the car (as well as himself) in the event of an accident. And a secure and comfy cage means there is never a danger of your dog jumping out of the car onto a busy road.

Make it cosy

I line the base of the house crate with newspaper or a blanket, and fill the whole crate with comfy machine washable bedding.  And if you have a tunnelling, thin-coated dog like a Whippet, she’ll think she’s in a cold prison cell if you don’t provide plenty of cuddly bedding!

A puppy who has come from a conscientious breeder will be unlikely to soil his bedding. See this video of very young puppies learning to eliminate away from their sleeping area:

Position the crate in a corner of the room, so the puppy is sheltered on two sides – from drafts as well as traffic – but he'll be able to see everything that goes on, so he’ll feel secure and included when you need to set about your chores. However, most of his time in the crate he’ll be asleep, so being able to close the door on the room with the crate in is very useful to ensure the correct amount of sleep.

To begin with a young pup will spend all his sleeping time in the crate. If he's happy there during the day, there's a good chance he’ll be happy there overnight. He may need to relieve himself once during the night to start with, so get up and take him outside on a lead – no playtime – and then pop him back into bed again. Get my Cheatsheet for Errorless Housetraining and focus on what you have to do to make this fast and easy. You’ll be surprised how quickly it will work for you!

At night, have the crate in your bedroom, maybe partly covered with a blanket for warmth and cosiness. Your puppy is much more like to settle quietly if he doesn't feel abandoned.

Of course you'll be taking him out on the lead to the garden during the day - every time he wakes, after each meal, after an active play session, and at least once an hour. Never scold him for doing it in the wrong place – regard it as a management problem and resolve to be more proactive next time. Before long you can add your vocal cue – you could say "hurry up" or "busy" or "be clean" or whatever you like (that you don't mind saying out loud in public for the next 12 years!).

The natural method

As this method of crate training is totally without pressure – simply building on the dog’s natural desire to keep his nest clean – you can start very young. In fact I had my very quickest housetraining results with a pup I had from four weeks (his mother was sick). By the age of six weeks this little puppy was clean and dry by night. Not long after that he would go outside and relieve himself on cue.

I would expect a puppy normally to be reliable between nine and fourteen weeks. The smaller the dog the longer it may take, though not necessarily - it’s really up to you! The beauty of crate training is that it does the work for you.

An added advantage of early crate training

At some stage in his life your dog may need surgery or confinement after an injury. Imagine the stress of trying to introduce him to a crate at this time! On top of that, he’ll go easily into the crate at the vets, thereby minimising stress.

It’s so useful to be able to park the dog contentedly in his crate when he comes home from an operation. He’ll feel secure from being trodden on and can switch off and relax, and concentrate on getting better.

But is crate training cruel?

I have found people may have misgivings about using a crate for a puppy at first – but these fears are usually dispelled when they find out what crate training is actually about.

We're not talking about shutting a puppy away and neglecting him – far from it! Crate training gives you the chance to build a great relationship with your puppy very quickly. After all you never need to tell him off for anything!

What better way to start off a lifelong partnership?

Check out New Puppy! the only puppy book you will need to get you step-by-step through the early weeks!

Check other post that might help your brilliant dogs:

I have a new puppy: will I ever get any sleep again?

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?

How much does your dog sleep?

I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

Dogs emerging from Lockdown!

Whoopee!  

Many of us are emerging from Lockdown. (In the UK our four-month lockdown is gradually lifting, a little bit at a time.)

With blinking eyes and pale skin, we creep out into the world again ..

Well, that’s some of us. Many of us have been out and about with our dogs every day, enjoying the sun and fresh air.

Your reaction to coming out of Lockdown varies according to your personality.

▪ Introverts have hugely enjoyed the past year. At last! Peace and quiet! No obligation to party or chat! Working in their own private corner of home!

▪ Extroverts have been driven up the wall by the solitude. They are the ones who were out in small groups at 00.01 on the day things started to relax. They can’t wait to get back to the workplace, and want to party as the day is long.  

Well, dogs are different too

Here’s where to get ideas on what Socialisation really means

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Just like us, dogs can enjoy company and activity .. or not.

Just like us, dogs can welcome solitude .. or pine for company.

And just like us, dogs can get used to how their life runs, and any change can be greeted with suspicion.

So if you are now spending time visiting friends, having friends over, (small) parties outdoors, shopping, visiting the pub or cafe garden, your outgoing, easygoing dog may be delighted to accompany you.

But spare a thought for your less easygoing dog! For nearly a year of his short life (that may be all of his life to date!) there have been restrictions and limitations.

Suddenly going to the other extreme and having lots of social interaction can be a violent shock to his system.

Back to Puppy Socialisation

Take a leaf out of your puppy-rearing diary. Approach this as a new socialisation program.

While true “socialisation” can only take place in the first 15 weeks of the dog’s life (it’s to do with how their brain is constructed), it’s become a catch-all expression for exploring our world. And that can, of course, happen at any age.

But while exposing your dog to novelty is an important part of this, with the dog over 15 weeks of age, you have to habituate gradually to these new things.

So introduce him, on lead, to a couple of friends for a few minutes, then perhaps put him away again. Let him process that experience before trying it again.

Don’t wait till he’s reacted - either by going bonkers and scatty and jumping all over everyone, or by getting upset and afraid and barking ferociously.

Take a drip-drip approach to emerging from Lockdown, and like with everything else with our dog, the slow route is usually the most effective!

And for hints for how to entertain your dog as you gradually change your ways, watch this video on how to involve your dog in activities with social restrictions, especially if you’re still locked down.

Appreciate your dog!

.. and appreciate those who want to help you! 

I spend most of my time encouraging and teaching folk to appreciate their dog, their difficult barking and lunging dog, their frustrating new puppy.

And despite giving a lot of my time, energy, expertise, and resources free of charge, there are always the naysayers! People who’d rather scoff than learn, people whose minds are closed - but sadly not their mouths!

It’s so easy to condemn and badmouth. It’s so easy to flip out a clever but thoughtless reply. Often this is done as a knee-jerk response to what they see as a challenge to their own competence. But no-one is born knowing how to understand and train a dog! No-one is blaming them for their lack of knowledge! The trick is to keep our mind open and accept help in the spirit in which it is offered.

This goes for how you treat your dog as well as yourself and everyone around you.

Blaming the dog for your own shortcomings is not going to move you both forward! A casual remark that your dog never listens, is stupid, is difficult, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy! I know this, because, dear reader, this was once me (l-o-o-o-ng time ago . . .).

Because I now put myself out there in the firing line, I get a lot of this criticism and backchat.

But I know that these remarks usually say more about the speaker than about me! I’m sorry that they’re not going to take advantage of what I can offer their dog. But, as the saying goes - you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink!

There are plenty who WANT to learn!

So today I thought I would celebrate all the LOVELY people who follow me and appreciate me. You never get to see these comments because they’re sent direct to me. So I’m going to bask in the pleasure of printing them 😊.

Hopefully, if you’ve been reading the negative stuff, you’ll see the other side of the picture.

And if you’re one of my “fans”, know that I LOVE hearing from you, and your enthusiasm and appreciation enable me to keep doing what I do.

“We are all reading and enjoying a real live person who clearly loves dogs also. Your empathy with all dogs is clear to see. “ - LK

“Yay! Our walks are SO much more enjoyable for us both. Abby is so much calmer and less reactive. I’m quite excited that we’re both learning to be a better team!.”  - NS, GDCD student*

“I loved your course and have shared the info with many. Our dog continues to amaze us and our friends.”  - SS, BfDA student**

“First thing I must tell you, I love reading your emails. It’s like being with family.” - CH

“Beverley's course is such a help. We've only been doing it a short while but it's made such a difference to our Tallie both indoors and out.” - LB, BfDA student**

“I spoke to you a while back when we struggled to get her to go for a walk with only one of us! Your advice worked and Jenny is now very keen to go for a walk solo! She has become quite the outdoor dog.” - SF

“Thank you! I’m glad to have a place where I don’t feel like I’m the only one who has a reactive dog and where others understand the struggles we’re all going through.” - ZB, GDCD student*

“Rather than bring the family together, she had started to tear us apart, getting more difficult and rebellious. With just one day of using your methods, we are already seeing a happier dog, wanting to come to me and to listen. Thank you so much Beverley, Im looking forward now to the next few weeks with positive, fun learning and the outcome for a happy family dog.” - TD

“Her focus has gone from not great to amazing. Mostly she is calm and well settled. “ - CH, BfDA student**

“Thank you so much for all your hard work. You are valued and appreciated very much by everyone here.” - CF

“I just wanted to say, I joined because in the one hour free Workshop you gave, you talked about her name being precious - it was like you were there in my front room! In just one day she's responding much better. I figured, well if one free workshop can achieve that quick change, the full program has got to be so worth it! Just to compare the prices, when we first got Alina, we had a 50 minute session with a local trainer - it cost us £80. She wanted us to go back for regular weekly sessions, but that was out of our price range. So for less than the cost of 2 sessions with the trainer, the offer of a lifetime’s support and all the workshops and modules seemed such good value.” - GO, BfDA student**

“Thank you for your books, they have given me a feeling of hope for the future.” - SH

“Your courses and advice have already in this short space of time changed my behaviour and in turn Harp's behaviour. It helps of course also that as you have mentioned many times that we should have the same respect and courtesy for our dogs as we would any other member of our family. That's something Harp and I have been working better at.“ - TH

“You have been at our side since our Maxwell (cocker spaniel) was 8 weeks old, and he's now 9 months, and gorgeous.” - PB, BfDA student**

* GDCD student is a person enrolled in the From Growly Dog to Confident online program.

** BfDA student is a person enrolled in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy online program.

Want to find out what they’re getting?

Watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

And here’s our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

HOW CAN YOUR WILD PUPPY BECOME YOUR BRILLIANT FAMILY DOG? 8 steps to success

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

You’ve decided now is the time to get a dog for your family. Excitement is running high! Expectations are through the roof. Plans are being laid.

But how realistic are these expectations? How near to reality are the plans?

I find that new puppy-owners tend to fall into two camps - those who expect too much too soon, and those who expect too little for too long! Let’s have a look at this more closely:

1. Expecting too much too soon

When you get your puppy at seven or eight weeks old, he is a baby. His eyes have only been open for six weeks. Everything is new to him - everything. He has to learn to trust you as his guardian and protector first. So shouting SIT SIT SIT at him is mystifying and frightening! There will be plenty of time for learning to sit on cue - but there’s only a short time for so much else that needs to be learnt first.

We have very short memories (why do women give birth to more than one child? If they remembered what they went through the first time they probably wouldn’t!) So remembering how good our old dog was is not helpful. What you’re probably remembering is when he was twelve and fitted your home comfortably like an old pair of slippers. You’ll have forgotten the mayhem and mess of his early weeks and months. Perhaps your old dog grew up in a noisy, busy family, with endless entertainment and learning. Now your home is quieter, but your pup will need the same level of stimulation and novelty.

2. Expecting too little for too long

Then there are those who appreciate that their puppy is a baby - but forget that their development is many times faster than that of a human infant. A pup of six months is something similar to a child of twelve years old in terms of maturity. You have a lot to pack in those first four months with you!

Fortunately young puppies are sponges. They soak up learning. It’s so easy to teach them what you want before they’ve discovered what they want. And like children, they accept the status quo. If feeding is always done in their crate followed immediately by a visit to the garden, this will be the accepted pattern which they will put on autopilot.

3. Start ‘em really young!

It used to be thought that puppies couldn’t start training until they were six months old or more. Imagine teaching absolutely nothing to your child until he reached twelve! The mind truly boggles at what you’d be up against. But with the revelation that force-free training is quicker and more efficient than traditional punitive methods, and that it develops an unbreakable bond between dog and owner, puppy training can start at around five weeks. The pup is still in the litter, of course, but he’s learning! This is where the importance of a conscientious and knowledgeable breeder comes in. Why not let him learn early on that people are good news and interacting with them is to his advantage?

Trainers in the vanguard of scientific thought do much of their teaching through games - every game designed to achieve one key skill. You want to find one of those excellent, thoughtful, kind trainers for your puppy!

4. All things to all men?

Your dog can’t be everything. He can’t fulfil all the roles that dogs are able to perform. Each dog is an individual. He may be unsuited to some activities, sports, ways of life, on account of his size or conformation. He may be temperamentally unsuited: he may be a social butterfly - or he may be a party pooper. While you can improve his perception of the world, tempering his excesses and building his confidence, you have to accept that maybe this dog won’t be your world class agility dog; maybe not the one to go on transalpine treks; perhaps not a cuddly lapdog or people-pleaser.

You can load the dice in your favour by researching your chosen breed and breeder minutely before you make your choice. But there’s still an element of the “luck of the draw”. How many people do you know who are quite unlike their parents? Your challenge will be to find where your dog does shine and develop that to his fullest potential.

5. Give time for the bond to grow

As you go through the early weeks and months, there’s no place for frustration or loss of temper, which will serve only to damage your relationship with your dog. Your puppy is not doing what he does out of stubbornness, naughtiness, defiance. He’s doing it because he’s a dog. And you haven’t yet shown him what you’d like him to do instead.

Punishment rewards the punisher - makes them feel better, more in control through having lost control. It doesn’t help the one who is punished.

It makes them evasive, resentful, untrusting. It won’t change their behaviour - they’ll just make sure you’re not around when they do it. Confusion reigns: think of the puppy who is told off for weeing in the house (who’s in charge of the feeding schedule and the doors here?) then makes sure to leave his next puddle behind the sofa where you can’t catch him and chastise him again.

6. The gift of time

Give your dog the time he needs to learn with you. Your days were already full before your puppy arrived, so you have to make time. Give him time - and undiluted, focussed attention. This is especially important when you already have a dog in the household. Your puppy needs that individual attention you lavished on your first dog if he’s to develop the same bond with you.

7. Expand your dog’s mind

Brainwork - as we all know! - is tiring. Use up some of that boundless energy by getting your puppy to think, to make choices, to assess situations and make good decisions. In order to think and choose, we have to have the freedom to make mistakes. Encourage and welcome those mistakes, which show that your dog is thinking and trying things. Choice-based training means that when your dog makes a poor choice nothing happens, good or bad. When he makes a good choice he gets excitement, treats, games, fun. Which do you think he’s going to choose again?

8. Don’t forget to enjoy your puppy!

Remember why you wanted a dog in the first place. Don’t get bogged down by worrying about whether your puppy is learning quickly enough, whether he’s showing you up at puppy class, whether you look inadequate if he doesn’t come when he’s called. Take the broader view and see it as a giant learning curve for both of you. Enjoy this time - it speeds past!

Find out how to avoid some of the pitfalls of early training in our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

Check out our many articles on puppies starting with this one and use the search to find specifics for your new pup!