My dog is stubborn!

“I have a 10 week old puppy, but I'm hearing that his breed is stubborn, hard to train, and possessive.”

Wow.

That’s a lot of labels to put on a baby.

The trouble with labels

You see, if you label someone - he’s arrogant, she’s bossy, he’s a naughty child, and so on - this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Every time you have dealings with that person you’ll be running everything they say and do through a filter to check whether it’s arrogant, or bossy, or naughty.

All you will be aware of is the moments when you score a hit!

Yes! That remark was arrogant! That proves he’s an arrogant man.

But don’t we all say something sometimes that could be interpreted as arrogant, or bossy, or naughty?

That means you’d tar us all with the same brush!

And, in any case, how helpful is this?

How about some NICE labels instead?

How about filtering for proof of niceness?

You’ll come up with some very different results!

Imagine while you’re talking to this (arrogant) man, you are listening out for generosity, humility, gentleness?

You’re going to find some surprises!

Back to dogs …

Don't listen to all the bad things people say about your chosen breed.

There is more variation between individuals than between breeds

People like to say these things to blame the dog and account for their own failure! If it’s the dog’s fault, because of its inherent failings, then it can’t be their fault.

It’s a simple case of shovelling the blame off onto someone else. They reared a dog to be stubborn, hard to train, and possessive - but it’s easier to blame the dog.

And why on earth would you want to do this to a new puppy, who has his whole life with you ahead of him?

Why would you want to reinforce the idea that your puppy is stubborn, hard to train, possessive?

Would your time not be better spent in understanding your puppy?

🐾 Understanding what he’s telling you when he won’t do what you think you’re asking?

🐾 Understanding why he wouldn’t want to enjoy time with you?

🐾 Understanding why he’s afraid?

Your new puppy is a blank canvas

It’s up to YOU to decide how you’d like him to be, then encourage everything that looks anything close to that.

It’s equally up to you not to listen to ignorant nonsense about your dog’s breed or type, spouted by those who have failed to manage such a dog.

While it’s true that certain breeds have certain genetic traits, like herding, or guarding, or hunting, none of these preclude a successful partnership!

After all, many of those specially-bred dogs are working dogs. And they can achieve astonishing levels of reliable performance.

Think Obedience and Agility Champions, sheepdogs, protection dogs, search dogs, medical alert dogs …

Once the sensitive owner understands these genetic traits, and their strength in their individual dog, they can work with the dog to satisfy both of the training partners. 

So don’t label your dog!

Allow him to unfold before you like a beautiful flower. Accept what he is without trying to categorise him.

That way you’ll have a wonderful life ahead of you!

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to help you see the different characteristics of different breeds -
and what a combination could result in!

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Harness your dog's imagination!

Here at Brilliant Family Dog we hear so often about the woeful things dogs have got up to.

It’s all about the dreadful things they’ve dreamed up and the bad things they’ve done. They’ve chewed things up, they’ve managed to escape, they’ve re-arranged your flowerbeds …

Perversely, I’m pleased to hear these stories.

Why?

Because it shows that the dog is exercising his imagination!

In the absence of being given interesting things to do, he’s making up his own entertainment.

This shows that he is resourceful, enterprising, thoughtful, and eminently teachable!

What can I teach him to do instead?

Let’s have a look at a really simple, basic, but highly amusing “toy”: a cardboard box. Get one big enough for your dog to clamber into - at least get his front paws in. Check it over for sharp staples.

Now let’s see what he can do with it! Some of this will need your input, some you can happily let your dog discover.

• front paws in

• front paws on

• all paws in

• all paws on

• whole body in (box collapsed yet?)

• find hidden toys in it

• find toy amongst masses of screwed-up paper

• find toy amongst loads of empty plastic bottles, or smaller boxes

• hide food in cardboard tubes or small boxes - to be found and shredded

• put toy in

• take toy out

• hide a toy in a smaller box

• put smaller box into large box

• crawl through a cut-out “door”

• teach scent by hiding something in one of many boxes

• push it

• curl up in it

• drag it

• chew it up . . .

For your older, bored, dog, this is going to be heaven!

For your young puppy it’s an essential stage of getting her used to strange surfaces, wobbly things, things that slip and slide, noisy things, crunchy things, rattly things. I call this Puppy Gym and it’s a vital part of my puppy classes and the Brilliant Family Dog Academy

Some older dogs, especially those who’ve been used to being told what to do, will be perplexed by this box. You’ll need to spice it up a bit to pique their interest - perhaps toss a few treats in to get them interacting with it.  

And please don’t worry about mess! Mess is a by-product of living, and this is going to be a controlled mess, of your choosing.

Isn’t that far better than the mess you find when your bored dog entertains himself by chewing your computer cables, or loving your slippers to death?

Let me know in the comments how you got on with this possibly new game!

And for more fun for your dog, get our free email course here

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Why is my dog biting me?

This question usually comes as a bit of a whine. People take it personally!

Now, if the biting is serious, intentional, does damage, then you need to seek professional help - “boots on the ground” as a wise colleague puts it. You need a force-free trainer to see just what’s going on, and help you make the necessary changes to make sure everyone is safe. That includes your dog. A dog who bites and does damage is definitely not safe - his life is at risk!

But let’s assume you have a dog who is enthusiastically taking lumps out of your jumper sleeves, grabbing your hands, tugging on your trousers or socks - but without any malicious intent. This is misdirected excitement.

You don’t need to take it personally! He’s not trying to hurt you. He just wants to play, and you haven’t yet taught him how.

This dog simply doesn’t know how to play according to our rules!

Puppies learn in the litter in weeks 6-8 that playing rough loses you playmates. The other pups will shun a painful biter until he mends his ways. This is the reason those two weeks are SO important!

And it’s why you should never take a puppy less than 8 weeks old.

It’s the most labour-intensive time for a breeder, and this is where genuine breeders earn their money.

“Greeders”, puppy-farmers, people who couldn’t be bothered and whose bitch was “caught”, are not going to want to spend time with this additional work. But it’s vital.

It’s when your puppy learns bite inhibition.

Bite inhibition

This is what we call a soft mouth. Your dog understands how to inhibit his bite so he can adapt it to what the teeth are touching.

Rule 1: Dogs’ teeth never touch human skin.

And they learn this very fast when they are young enough to take the lesson quickly, at a few weeks old.

They can still learn it when they’re older, of course! But it takes a little more sustained input from you.

Tug

Tug is the best game ever for teaching this. Your dog can enthusiastically grab, chomp, tug, and play with you, with perfect control of his gnashers.

He moves from high arousal to thoughtful control.

In the Brilliant Family Dog Academy we teach people just how to achieve this happy state! And it’s all done without any NOOOs or nose-taps or any other form of punishment.

It’s a game you can both enjoy - for life.

In this image you can see 9-week-old Coco waiting for the cue to start play - and then his vigorous tugging in the image at the top of the post!

Puppy Nipping

People write for advice with their pup’s nipping. They often say, “I expected him to bite, but I thought it would stop now he’s 6 months old …”

There are three fallacies here -

1. Any biting should stop within his first week with you.

2. Such rewarding fun (you dance and squawk and get excited) is not going to go away on its own: you have to train your dog how you want him to play.

3. AND - what you expect is what you get!

That goes for everything, in dog training - and in life. If you expect him to bite you, that’s just what will happen.

So follow the guidance in this post:

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/10-ways-to-stop-puppy-biting

Whatever age your dog is, you can change this!

For more about the Brilliant Family Dog Academy I mentioned above, watch our free Workshop and learn all about how you can transform your Li’l Nipper into your Brilliant Family Dog!