New rescue dog? Start here!

I get plenty of emails that begin, “We’ve just adopted an adult dog and he’s a nightmare to walk. He barks and lunges at everything and has damaged my shoulder …”

My first suggestion?

Don’t take your brand-new dog out for walks!

Shock! Horror! But don’t dogs have to be walked every day?

Nope. They don’t. As long as they get exercise - and that can be from playing games in your home and garden - they’re ok.

And if the walks are upsetting them that much, they definitely don’t need to be walked!

This dog has just arrived with you. His world is totally upside down - and may have been for months if he’s previously had a hard time, been booted out, and spent time in a shelter.

He needs time.

He needs time to learn to trust you.

And he needs time to build his confidence so that he can cope with the outside world - a world he may have had no experience of at all!

He may never have been out on walks in his first home, and in the shelter he probably never went off the premises.

So the outside world is a very scary place for him! And his only recourse is to try to put on an aggressive display to keep it away from him.

Familiarity does not bring peace, necessarily

So the best thing is to keep him home, in his new safe place. Keep working with him to build up his confidence in you and everything else. 

This will take time!

It can take at least eight weeks for a dog to settle into a new home. And in this time he’ll start to exhibit new things. Maybe he was always very quiet and biddable, and now he’s become rambunctious and “naughty”?

This is a good thing! It shows he’s settling in with you and able to act naturally.

And now you’ve got something you can really work with. It’s the ideal time to embark on a program of force-free training and fun, if you haven’t already done that.

Learning together is a wonderful way to bond with your new dog, to build that companionship you’ll both enjoy for the rest of his life.

Get a helping hand

But starting out with a new dog - possibly as a first-time dog-owner - is not always easy. And this is where working with someone who knows what’s what will really help.

You can start with our free Workshop and in just a few weeks you’ll be at a level where you can teach your dog some fun tricks!

And if your dog is the one at the top of this post, who is terrified of everything outside - then the free Masterclass is where you need to be, right now.

Both these webinars are packed with tips and strategies to get you off on the right foot with your dog - whether brand-new or comfortably ensconced in your home.

“IT’S OK – MY DOG IS FRIENDLY!” THAT’S NOT HOW IT SEEMS TO ME!

First published on positively.com and reprinted with permission

Picture this: You are walking with your little girl. A family appear up ahead, and the fairly large boy whoops with joy at the sight of you two, races towards you, jumps on your child - who is now screaming - and rolls her over, grinning inanely. While you frantically try to extricate your precious little one without actually harming the boy, you hear a distant cry from the boy’s mother: “It’s ok! He’s friendly!”

Your response is probably unprintable.

And if you were the mother of the rowdy boy, would you really think it ok to let him bounce all over other children, on the grounds that he’s friendly?

So let’s turn this around now, and substitute pet dogs for children.

You have a super-friendly, waggy dog. He lurves other dogs. You know that he doesn’t want to start a fight. And if you try and keep him on the lead when he sees another dog you’ll get singing and dancing  - as he pulls your arm out of its socket. So you let him do his own thing on walks: diving on dogs, body-slamming them, chasing them, trying to roll them over in play.

And dogs all love to play, don’t they?

Because you’re not afraid of him, you expect his victims to be equally unafraid.

Really?

At the Other Extreme

On the other hand, perhaps you are blessed with a dog who is afraid of other dogs, who barks and growls, lunges and prances, when he sees them approach. You’re probably anxious because you fear that if he ever gets to the other dog he’ll rip its throat out. So you make sure you keep him on lead, and avoid other dogs as much as possible.

His way of carrying on is baffling to you, because you know that your dog is a perfect peach at home, brilliant with the kids, and a pleasure to have around. You may be pleased to learn that your dog is most probably not at all aggressive - just afraid of strange dogs, and doing his best to keep them at a distance.

Both these extremes are normal, just at either end of the bell-curve - instead of the middle where we automatically expect our dogs to fit.

But just like with children - you get the dog you’re given, not the one you wanted!

Your dog’s character is part of him and is why you love him. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t influence how he feels and help him to tone down his responses.

Whether over-friendly or under-friendly, your dog needs a little help to interact with the rest of the world and lead a less stressed life. (If your own friendly approaches always resulted in tears and screaming, that would be pretty stressful for you too.)

But What Can I Do?

Strange as it may seem, both problems can be treated the same way.

Distance is very important to dogs. Both these dogs can see a dog at a great distance and not react. It’s when they trip a certain proximity that you are going to get the undesired noise and kerfuffle.

What you need to do is reward the state that you like when you see it, and just before the calmness changes into vocalising and leaping, encourage your dog to turn back with you and get a little more distance. Your own calmness is essential to the success of this game, so relax your hands on the lead, smile, say “Let’s go!” cheerily, and slow down.

Your reward could be a tiny piece of tasty cheese or hot dog. All the time your dog is calm and not shouting, keep posting these delicious morsels into his mouth until he stops paying attention to the other dog and starts paying attention to the source of these goodies instead. Success!

If yours is the friendly dog, you can now ask the other dog’s owner if their dog would welcome a game. Maybe they will, then your bouncy dog’s reward for being calm will be the opportunity to interact with a strange dog. Maybe they won’t, in which case you can reward your dog with a toy-game or more food while you head away.

If yours is the fearful dog, you can congratulate him on his bravery, and his reward will be increased distance from the object of his fears. So you turn and head away.

Repeating this time and again will gradually elicit the calm response in your dog as the default. This process will be greatly accelerated if you can get the help of a professional force-free trainer. Be sure not to go to someone who wants to reprimand your dog: punishment of any kind will heap fear and anxiety on the existing fear and anxiety and make the situation worse!

As you know all too well, the skill of parenting is to work with the child in front of you, rather than the one you wish you had in front of you!

So it is with your family dog.

For more help with this ever more common problem, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

I’d love to hear how you resolve this issue on your dog walks - just write a comment below. I’ll appreciate every one!

Dog Reactivity after Lockdowns

I get frequent requests for help from folk who got a pandemic puppy without understanding the significance of the puppy socialisation period - which is from 3 to about 15 weeks.

It’s in this time that the dog’s brain forms its ideas about the world around it.

And it’s why a proper understanding of this is critical to your future life together with your dog.

See our post with a free Socialisation Guide at https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/our-familys-always-had-dogs-why-is-this-one-so-difficult

You see, what your very young puppy experiences in those critical first weeks will set the tone for how he sees the world for ever. If he enjoys children in this period for example, he’ll carry on enjoying them. If he gets to meet other (carefully chosen) dogs and the meeting goes well, he’ll adjust much better to meeting strange dogs of all shapes and sizes in the future.

It doesn’t mean he’ll breeze through the world with never a care - but it does ensure he’s getting the best start possible.

Same goes for noisy kitchen pans, car rides, train journeys, sheep, visits to the shops, wobbly or uneven surfaces, strange objects, loud noises, sparkly or shiny things … and so on.

Everything your puppy is likely to meet in his life he should be exposed to in a gentle manner at whatever distance is appropriate not to evoke a fear response - in those first few weeks.

So you can see that when you get a puppy, you have your work cut out to beat that deadline of 14-16 weeks of age!

And it’s why the best age to get a puppy is 8 weeks, as by then he’s experienced a couple of weeks in the litter with his littermates once the dam loses interest, and still has plenty of time to do his learning.

What if that time was missed?

It’s not your fault if you didn’t know this and the breeder didn’t know enough to tell you how to handle your new dog! (This underlines the importance of sourcing your puppy carefully - see Choosing your Puppy 1, 2, and 3

So if that time of getting out and about was missed because of lockdown restrictions you are now stuck with a dog who may be fearful or reactive to many things he should be able to take in his stride.

(Actually, socialisation in lockdown was possible within the law - if you’re determined enough anything is possible!)

But here you are, with a dog who is fearful. So what do you do?

First off, understand that you can never replicate that period in a puppy’s brain development. That’s closed. Over.

But you can do lots to help your dog adjust!

Your first consideration is to ensure you don’t overload your dog, overface him with what he is confronted with.

Fewer walks which are comfortable and enjoyable are hugely preferable to daily walks through fire and brimstone!

Work out exactly what upsets him, and make sure you don’t encounter those things at all for now, if humanly possible. This may mean driving to quiet places for walks.

Whether it’s chasing bikes that is the problem, or lunging at people or dogs, then you need to embark on a desensitisation and counterconditioning program (that just means changing his emotional response so he no longer needs to try and defend himself against them).

How to do this? We can show you, step by step, in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy.

This may be absolutely enough for you to see how you can manage walks and improve life for both of you.

Need more specific help?

Your dog is losing his mind when he encounters these things, appearing aggressive and dangerous? Check out From Growly Dog to Confident Dog where I and my experienced team of trainers will guide you through the changes you will make so you can both enjoy your time together - in the company of those who have succeeded and will cheer you on!

And for some starter lessons and an introduction to these programs, here’s where you go: 

You can check out the lessons and talk to us in the chat. We’d love to help you change all this!

As I said, in the strange and heady times of the pandemic it may not have been your fault that you were unprepared how to handle your new dog.

But getting things put right now is down to you . . .

Your dog can’t do it alone.

Children and pandemic puppies

So many people have turned to our friend the dog to help them through the troubled times of the last year and a half.  

And so many of them had NO idea what they were getting themselves into when they rushed out and bought the first puppy they saw! No research, no experience, no realisation of the murky underworld of money-grabbing, unprincipled, “puppy farmers”, just a desire for companionship.

And that desire is all well and good, but we’re talking about bringing a different species into our homes. Of course there will be teething problems!

Puppy socialisation

One of the things which we dog professionals work so hard to explain to our students is in how the dog’s brain works in regard to meeting new experiences, people, objects, children, animals, places.

That’s what socialisation is really about.

Many new dog-owners think they have to thrust their puppy or new rescue dog into the face of every passing dog. This is a hazardous plan, and frequently backfires!

But it’s not just about meeting other dogs.

And many, many of these Pandemic Puppies have been confined at home by lockdowns, and have missed some or ALL of their socialisation period.

For the dog is so designed that they will accept new things up to the age of about 15 weeks. After that, their “socialisation window” closes with a bang, and they will regard new things with a certain amount of suspicion.

If you’ve introduced them to noisy traffic early on, they may accept a noisy train even if seeing it after the shut-off age of 15 weeks.

But they may not.

Dogs are not great at generalising experiences. They tend to see everything as an individual occurrence.

Socialising to people

And this is particularly important with people.

We may see all people as much of a muchness - older, younger, bigger, smaller, brown, white - they’re all people.

But your dog sees them as quite separate entities!

The way an old man hobbles, leaning on a stick, is totally different from how a lithe teenager skims along, or a toddler wobbles unpredictably.

This is what the dog sees!

And the dog in this picture is showing extreme anxiety at being cornered by this well-meaning child. This warning, unheeded, could result in a snap or even a bite. A knowledge of Dog Body Language is essential for any would-be dog-owner.

So if your dog’s been kept at home for his first few weeks of life, and this has been compounded by being kept away from what we accept as normal life for many more months as he matures, then we are presenting our young dog with a challenge he is ill-equipped to deal with!

Suddenly there are children visiting the home - his safe fortress where no-one but his immediate family ever ventured. These new curious creatures are noisy, erratic, jumpy, armed with food and toys. They are quite unlike any other human he has encountered. He has no idea what to make of them.

And unless given a slow introduction and a safe haven away from the intruders, things could rapidly go pear-shaped.

How to make up for missed “socialisation”

You can’t.

What your puppy missed before 15 weeks cannot now be put back.

But this is not all gloom and doom!

There’s plenty you can do.

You need to give your dog new experiences, very gradually and without pressure. He needs to learn slowly but surely that these new things in his life are not dangerous.

So a visit to the park to watch children playing from a safe distance would be a good start. There’s no need for him to actually meet any until he’s comfortable at a distance.

And, of course, it takes two to tango - teaching the visiting children how to behave round a dog is a vital continuation!

There are some great pointers on how to do this in this post

And some very useful resources below to help you make dogs meeting children a safe and enjoyable experience all round.

Meanwhile, to find out more of how your dog’s brain works, and how you can get the best results with your new friend, watch our free Workshop here

RESOURCES

Blue Cross  

Family Paws

Doggone Safe

Children and dog bites

Rearing a puppy to be confident

How can I rear my puppy to like other dogs when we’re locked down and social distancing?

A lot of people are asking this, and I absolutely understand where they’re coming from with this question!

For years we have been told that unless your puppy meets other dogs, in quantity, before the age of 15 weeks, you are doomed to a lifetime of reactivity and aggression.

Like all bowdlerisations, this one is liable to serious misinterpretation.

In fact, what we are actually told is that we have to acclimatise our puppy to everything he’s likely to meet in everyday life by the age of 15 weeks.

That is very different!

Learn a new way of puppy-rearing with our free email course packed with tips and ideas for a peaceful life with your dog!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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Misinterpretation, mishearing, misunderstanding …

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Picking up a little of the message without understanding the reasoning behind it is the problem here.

And sadly it can actually be the CAUSE of reactivity problems later on!

The exact opposite of what the hapless owner intended!

The way forward

So what should the new puppy-owner be doing, especially in this difficult time?

If you follow the actual advice from the scientists, to introduce novelty into your puppy’s life so that he enjoys the experience, you’ll see that this novelty will include other dogs, and an awful lot more besides!

The idea of dropping a young puppy into the middle of a mass of dogs - some madly excited, some terrified - is awful! And it’s at the centre of many puppy classes run by inexperienced tutors.

To help you understand exactly what your puppy is telling you, do research Dog Body Language. There are some resources listed at the foot of this article to help you - and your children! - learn what your new pet is saying. It really may not be what you think.

I teach Choice Training

That is to say, my dogs always have a choice in what they do.

Nothing builds confidence more than having your wishes respected, your opinions considered, your decisions honoured.

And never is this more important than in meeting other creatures, be they two- or four-legged.

Naturally, the safety of the other party always has to be considered! So if your puppy is meeting a shy dog, a cat or bird, or a baby, for the first time, restraint on harness and lead is essential, or else the “victim” should be safely protected in a crate or cage or playpen.

That said, allow your puppy a choice.

Don’t shove him forward to meet people or dogs - let him move forward at his own pace and manner. Let him make the decision whether to progress or hide behind you. Either way he is expressing his feelings. And allowing those feelings is what will develop confidence.

• Confidence that you will honour his feelings

• Trust that you will protect him

And this will build his ability to cope with new things, whether a helicopter overhead, a dragonfly buzzing around his head, a child banging a bucket, a dog barking . . .

This is what is meant by exposing your puppy to novelty!

Not throwing him into a situation he cannot manage, when the only thing he’ll learn is fear.

Older dogs

The exact same applies for handling “socialisation” for your older dog. Technically you can’t “socialise” a dog over the age of 15 weeks. But you can still introduce him to novelty, in a gradual and structured way, so that his confidence builds - just the same as with your puppy

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

RESOURCES

Socialisation in Lockdown

Puppies and Dogs

Dog Body Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00_9JPltXHI

Dog Body Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bstvG_SUzMo  

Helping your young dog understand our world

I was standing in our local high street with my puppy, just watching the world go by.

We saw people, children, dogs, wheelchairs, cars, vans, and a very interesting pigeon on the pavement a few yards from us. Coco studied this for a while and I gave him plenty of time to look at it, ensuring his lead was slack. Whenever he seemed more than curious, I’d feed him for not reacting. We were taking everything in our stride …

UNTIL this pleasant episode was interrupted by shouting. A woman was walking down the wide pavement, yanking the lead of her dog. She shouted “LEAVE IT!!” and yanked again. As far as I could see the dog was quite surprised by this.

She marched on, towards us and the pigeon. The friendly-looking young dog looked towards my pup - YANK! “LEAVE IT!!”

Then he made the mistake of glancing towards the pigeon YANKYANK SHAKE “LEAVE IT!!!”

By now the poor dog was straining on his lead to get as far away from his owner as possible. She stopped, gave the lead an almighty yank and hoisted the dog off his feet, once more yelling “LEAVE IT!!”

I wonder if that dog had any idea what “Leave it” meant?

What I do know is that a naturally curious young dog was being abused and punished for … what? Showing interest in his surroundings. 

This is exactly what I had brought my young dog out to do!

•  It’s very sad that anyone should treat another creature in this way.

•  It’s more sad that the dog was doing nothing wrong.

•  Sadder still that his owner seems to think this is the way to teach.

•  And saddest of all? He is stuck with this short-tempered, unenlightened owner.

We can’t reach everyone, but by our example we can hope to change attitudes, one dog at a time

To get a flying start at this, get our free 8-part email course which gives you “training recipes” for changing things you don’t like, and encouraging the things you do like in your dog

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