How long will it take to settle in my new dog?


We expect it to take a while for a puppy to settle in to our home, don’t we?

Well - we should! But some folk expect to get an instantly devoted and trained dog as their 8-week-old puppy’s feet land in their home. This is unrealistic, and you will find many articles on www.brilliantfamilydog.com to help you to get your puppy off to a great start.

But when it comes to older dogs, this expectation of speedy assimilation into the household mystifies me.

We’re talking about a re-homed adult dog or older puppy here.

Now this rehoming may be because a perfect home became unavailable - e.g. the owner died.

Or it may be because the dog has been found wandering on the streets and taken in with no knowledge of past history.

Or it may be that there is a little history (though how true that is is questionable, seeing as that history comes from people who no longer want the dog and are happy to make excuses for their abandonment).

The dog may have been in several homes.

Or in none.

It may have suffered neglect, abuse, or at the very least, a lack of understanding.

If the dog is handed in as an adolescent, most likely it has had NO training or guidance whatever, and now it’s running riot and its neglectful owners have lost patience and just want to shovel it off to someone else to deal with.

And all this may manifest in manic behaviour, “aggression”, resource guarding, lack of response, being shut down aka learned helplessness - not to mention pulling on the lead, stealing, chewing, running off, and the rest.

 

Your dog arrives with baggage!

So you can see that whatever route your dog took to arrive with you, whatever reason he has found himself in a shelter, he has a load of history and experiences to deal with.

And that means YOU have a load of history and experiences to deal with!

With the possible exception of the dog whose owner died, and who will be confused and sad and lost, your newly-rehomed dog is the victim of his past life.

He has no idea what’s going on!

He has no idea who to trust - if anyone. Maybe his trust in humans has been shattered?

He has no idea whether you are another staging post in his messed-up life, or that he’s with you for good.

He may have no conception of regular meals, comfy beds, a secure home, true love and companionship, trust.

He may not be house-trained.

He may think he has to snatch and steal in order to get anything, then snarl over it in order to keep it.

And he has more than likely had ZERO training. Of any kind, good or bad.

He may only know punishment and abuse and be fearful.

He may have been let run wild and thinks that’s the way his life will continue.

He may never have worn a collar or been on a lead.

He may have had to doss down wherever he could find a bit of shelter, never able to sleep soundly for fear of attack.

 

How quickly will this dog settle in with you?

You can see this is not going to be an overnight thing!

In fact, any new dog, from whatever circumstance, can take a good couple of months to settle in with you, learn all your (strange!) ways, know that you are now his home.

And to trust you.

Depending on his history we could be looking at many months.

Depending on how much damage needs to be undone, many many months.

But of one thing you may be sure!

With the possible exception of the dog whose owner died, this dog was not in a shelter because he was a perfect, perfectly-trained, pet dog!

No-one gives up a wonderful companion unless they are in extremis.

You are getting a botched, mishandled, possibly abused, basket-case of a dog.

Be clear on that.

BUT

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!

This does not mean that this dog won’t become your best friend, one who gives you enormous pleasure, enhances your life, gives you a purpose, and returns your affection and dedication 100-fold!

My first dog was a Battersea Dogs’ Home special - found wandering the streets. Poppy became a Working Trials Champion, with an entire alphabet of letters after her name!

You can learn her story in our free Workshop here.

She was an amazing dog with which my dog-owning life was blessed. She set me on the path of force-free training, of having endless fun building a close and enduring relationship with a member of another species.

She rewarded me by taking me all over the British Isles to compete and enjoy the company of other likeminded dog-owners, and it was with a heavy heart that I sat on the kitchen floor and held her in my arms when she left us, aged 16.

 

By all means get yourself an older dog!

But be sure that you view your future together realistically, and not through rose-tinted spectacles.

Love may not be enough.

Dedication, training, coaching, knowing where to go for the right guidance - all this is essential!

 

[HINT: try that free Workshop to get you started on your new life together!]

 

How patient are you with your dog?



I’m delighted to see the successes that students get as they work steadily through the Brilliant Family Dog Academy.

Their appreciation of how this has changed so much for them shines through their comments:

Here’s what KW had to say on the transformation of her dog’s recall: 

“Wow, just WOW!! The smile on her face as she flew towards me said it all.”

And here’s another heartfelt comment:

“A big thank you to Beverley and team. My dog has come a long way - he now plays and socialises and is lovely on the lead. He loves the focus games and his big sister is certainly enjoying life - and we have a lovely family dog!” LS

 And what about this one?

“My puppy and I continue to love the program. He is coming along in leaps and bounds. We seem to be building a lovely bond and I just love the way he continually looks at me to see what fun thing we are going to do next. This programme is great. We wouldn’t be in such a great place without it. Thank you.” SL

 

You’ll notice that all these comments are about the huge change in the relationship between owner and dog - the improved behaviour just rolls along with it!

So you can see why I’m so sad when I get occasional remarks from students saying that after a week their dog is unchanged and they don’t think it’s working. 

PATIENCE!

Your dog didn’t become as he is overnight!

And you won’t change everything about him overnight!

Actually, plenty of students do find they get results very fast … but those are the ones who apply themselves and knuckle down to do the work! Hmmm - wonder if there’s a correlation there …?

  

Magic Wands?

Nobody has a magic wand.

Though Lacy is doing her best here!

And you need TIME and PATIENCE to get the results you want with your dog.

Just as you do with anything else!

You wouldn’t enrol on a foreign language course and expect to be speaking Chinese or whatever within the week.

So whyever would anyone think that they can undo years (or just weeks) of poor training or bad experiences within a few days.

I’ve actually had people say after ONE DAY that their dog hasn’t changed yet!

It is a fact that your dog’s behaviour is a direct reflection of the training you’ve given him.

They don’t come out of the box ready-trained.

You get Dog 1.0. The upgrades you have to apply yourself!

And I and my professional trainer team just love guiding you in this!

Here’s what VW had to say about the individual coaching she got in the program:

“Wow, thank you so much for your lovely words! I was feeling so low the other day, not just about my lack of progress with my dog and then I posted and you and the other trainers were so wonderful and supportive and encouraging, it made a HUGE difference to me and how I felt generally as well as our training. I cannot thank you enough for that alone.

Thank you for helping me to be the best for my dogs, and for your really kind words.

I am on week 5 of this training and it is brilliant, truly helpful and working so well.”

Why not give us a whirl?

We’ll give you all the lessons and the support - but you have to bring your dog and your patience yourself!

See you there!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?


Did you know, that - just like us - if dogs don’t get enough sleep it shows in everything they do?

You may be familiar with managing a toddler - in which case you KNOW exactly how important sleep is! An underslept baby is a cranky, crying, cantankerous, mess! You can do nothing with them till they’ve had the proper amount of sleep.

We know this.

And if you’re starting off with a new puppy, you need to make sure that sleep is right up there in importance, along with what and how often to feed, and enriching your puppy’s life.

Everything else can wait!

Until you manage sleep, you will have that cranky, cantankerous toddler for a puppy - and this usually manifests itself in manic behaviour and especially puppy biting.

If you’re struggling with your new puppy’s behaviour, read these two posts, and follow the steps exactly!

 

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/new-puppy-will-i-ever-sleep-again

 

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/10-ways-to-stop-puppy-biting

 

Things will change for you very fast, once you put these methods in place.

 

Grown-up dogs

But many people don’t realise that this need for sleep continues for ALL their dog’s life!

Dogs, like many animals, need much more sleep than we do.

And like all of us, they suffer if they’re not getting it.

Know how much a healthy dog needs to sleep every day?

It’s 17 hours!

17 hours!

I spoke about this at length in this post:

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/my-dog-is-busybusy-all-day-long-and-never-stops

And if your dog is always on the go - hop over there right now and read the story about Tim and learn how to help your dog just as fast!

There’s more help for you in this post too:

https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/i-love-my-dog-and-i-love-my-sleep

 

A bee in my bonnet?

Now you’re thinking I’ve just got a bee in my bonnet about all this!

But the reason I feel the need to revisit this subject is because it seems to be such a secret for so many people!

Especially first-time dog-owners and puppy-owners.

They think that the puppy will take care of his own sleep needs.

Nope.

Like everything else we want to happen in our home with our companion dog, we have to manage it, and teach strong foundations from the start.

Quite a few folk arrive in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy, pulling their hair out in frustration at their new dog’s behaviour!

And before we can teach the dog anything new to “fix the problem” we have to sort out the household management.

Only then is the dog in a state where he can learn.

And, you know what?

 

There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing your dogs flat out sleeping peacefully, the house calm and quiet, while you get on with what you have to do, knowing your dog will be in a friendly, obliging, malleable, mood when he eventually stretches, yawns and starts his tail wagging again!

 

Want a bit more help after you’ve read all these valuable articles? Get our free email course here, which will show you how to deal with lots of those little daily annoyances your dog may be passing your way!

 

And comment below on how changing your dog’s sleep patterns has transformed your life together! 💤   💤   💤  


Why do people want to fight with their dog?

I’m not, of course, talking about people organising dogfights - which is barbaric and against the law in most civilised countries.

What I’m talking about is the need people often have when they get a dog, to order it about, “command” it, make it do things, stop it doing things, control it, in general have a master-slave relationship.

Do they get a dog because they need someone to boss about?

Thing is, this is a-a-a-a-ll conflict.

Conflict-based.

This is what leads them to complain that their dog is “stubborn”, “defiant”, “ignores me”.

The way some people want to be with their dogs is centred on conflict.

And it’s a mystery to me!

Love

The great dog trainer and trailblazer in how we treat our performance dogs is Susan Garrett.

And she saith:

Dog training is really relationship building

 This is what it’s all about, guys!

It’s not about making your dog do something, or stopping it doing something.

It’s about developing a relationship with your dog, living a full and enjoyable life with another creature. From another species, sure - but a sentient being who can work things out, solve problems, seek pleasure, who has fears, likes and dislikes, JUST LIKE US!

Remember Shylock’s impassioned speech in The Merchant of Venice?

“If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”

He was talking about being a Jew. He could have been speaking as a dog, or any other animal!  

Frustration

If you’re frustrated with your dog on a daily basis, I suggest that it’s because you are looking for Confrontation and Conflict on a daily basis.

It’s an “I’m right, so you must be wrong” approach. Whereas anyone who has ever lived happily with another person knows that it’s Compromise and Compassion that win the day.

If you’d like to find a better way to live with your dog - to banish conflict from your life and have fun instead - start with our free Workshop here and sprinkle a little stardust in your home!





Does your dog get carsick?

In my experience, puppies are either carsick or they're not.  

And if they are, you've just got to cope with it till they grow out of it! Just like with small children.

I've never found anything in the way of medication that works. But I have found a number of things that do work.

 

  1. Have the pup in the middle of the car, not the boot or tailgate or trunk or whatever you term it, as there's far less movement between the wheels. If you imagine a little toy car swivelling on a pin going down the centre of the car, you’ll get the idea of the swing at the back end. Lots of builders’ plastic sheeting will be very useful here, as you can hose it down outside the car.

  2. Never leave any dog or puppy loose in a car! There are many reasons for this, but in this case you don’t need much imagination to see why it’s not a good idea! Have him in a washable crate or cardboard box, or in a towel on your lap if you're a passenger. You can connect his harness to your seat belt for safety. Vomit can reach every nook and cranny in a car - down the side of the seats is its speciality! - so containing him is really the best option. If he can see out of the window, so much the better. Don't mollycoddle him - be matter-of-fact.

3. Take corners and winding roads slowly and be light on the controls. Be ready if possible with a bucket to stick his head in when he's about to throw up, so less mess, and have plenty of towels around. If he’s harnessed in the passenger seat beside you, this is pretty easy - though you have to stop the car safely first! 😎


4. Bring water and towel to clean him down when you arrive, don't feed him for a couple of hours before departure, and aim to get anywhere 15 minutes early so he can walk around and play and get over it.

 

5. This too shall pass! But it can become a habit. When my puppy Rollo got into the car, he’d start drooling even before the doors were closed. So I started a counterconditioning program with him hopping in and out of the car and getting very tasty treats for just being there. When that happened we graduated to closing the doors, then to switching the engine on. Gradually the drooling died out, and he grew to love the car and where it took him, and became a perfect traveller by about six months of age. Some dogs may be so car-averse that you’ll want to start this process outside the car till they’re happy to enjoy the treats. Then move to the front passenger seat.

 

Triggers

As a child I was always sick when my parents took us on outings. I can remember the triggers clearly - the motion, the leather upholstery of my father's car, and my mother's expensive perfume. So he may fare better in one car than another.

A friend shared that her childhood carsick triggers were the smell of coffee from a flask that my parents always took on long road trips, and being jostled for mile after mile after mile.

The fact that we both remember these triggers so clearly so many years later, demonstrates how deeply embedded they can be. Hence the need to make haste slowly!


And for more help with your dog - get our free email course on common dog problems! Lots of help for you there.

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Giving eye drops to your dog!

I got a cry for help from a dog-owner recently. They had to administer eye drops to their little dog, who is normally happy to be handled all over.  

But the very sight of the eye dropper caused him to snap and growl - quite out of character for this fellow.

So here are some suggestions I gave them - that you may find useful if you’re struggling to give ear or eye drops to your frightened dog!

  1. Ideally, get him used to funny interventions in advance of actually needing them. You can pretend to give eye drops or ear meds, doing everything bar actually putting anything in the eye. Make it fun and rewarding - with treats to follow, and a toy game if your dog likes that.

If you do this regularly, your dog will be quite happy to put up with this strange behaviour.

In the photos on this page you can see Coco keen and happy to get his anti-inflammatory meds. This happened because of careful desensitisation round meds, droppers, syringes, and the rest. No restraint needed!

2. If the drops appear to sting his eye, see if your vet can prescribe something more gentle.


3. If it’s permitted, ensure the bottle is warm, or at least the load in the dropper is at room temperature, so your dog doesn’t get the shock of cold liquid in his eyes.


4. Use a muzzle, or a fabric lead or soft scarf round his snout for a moment. If you’re alone, drop the scarf over the nose, cross it under the chin and tie behind the head. Be quick! And If you have a helper, ensure that one of you holds the ends tight while the other QUICKLY drops in the drops, being sure not to touch the eyeball. You can pull up the eyebrow (not the lid) to give you plenty of space to drop.

My enquirer also chose to wrap her dog in his customary after-bath towel so he felt cuddled and warm. And this and the scarf method worked perfectly, with no distress to their dog.


5. This is a time for breaking out the Class A stuff - fresh or dried sprats, cheese, sausage - leave your dog with the happiest memory of the intervention.


6. If all else fails, ask if you can get the vet nurse to administer the drops so that you’re not the bad guy!

 

You’ll want to follow much the same steps for ear meds. I always favour powder rather than wet stuff in the ears, with all the unpleasant noise that can make. I use Thornit (which you can readily get from Amazon) and that’s also brilliant for drying up hot spots and wet patches.

It’s great that we can get help for our dogs so easily these days. If you have to administer something, be sure to get a lesson from the vet or nurse before you leave the surgery. Ask them to show you in slow motion!

And start a program of desensitising your dog to all this right away - before you need it!


For more practical tips on making life run smoothly for you and your dog, get our free email course here ...

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