Is your new dog not as easy as your old dog?

Got a new puppy?

Exciting!

All your hopes for the perfect dog rest in this wide-eyed little ball of fluff!

And as soon as you get started with him, he fails.

But how on earth can an 8-week-old puppy be failing? 😱

He wees everywhere, he chews everything, he pulls on the lead, he keeps you awake and barks the house down when you leave …

This may all be true (HINT: it needn’t be! Your new puppy can be sleeping through the night from Day 1, never chew anything you don’t want him to, walk nicely on the lead, and be comfortable in your absence - start the Brilliant Family Dog program by watching this free Workshop)

So - maybe it’s true. But the reason you think your little puppy is failing, being difficult, challenging, awkward, time-consuming, and all the rest - is because you are comparing him with your previous dog!

Your old dog

Your old dog was perfect in every way.

Fitted your household like an old slipper.

• Never chewed anything

• Always asked if he needed to go out

• Walked nicely beside you and never ran off

• Slept like a log and greeted you happily when you came home.

And this too may be true.

But your old dog was 14 (or 12 or 17) when he died. He’d spent his whole life learning how to rub along with you.

And you’ve TOTALLY forgotten the anguish and trouble of his puppyhood!

You are seeing your lovely old pet through rose-tinted spectacles.

 Of course he took time to housetrain!

Of course he chewed things (whether they were things you wanted him to chew or things he stole is entirely down to your supervision at the time)

Of course he hauled you about on the lead (until you taught him different)

Of course the baby cried when you left him, till he learnt to trust you.

This is a NEW puppy

This is a NEW puppy. A NEW person. Yes, he’s a dog, and he may even be the same breed as your previous dog, but he is an individual.

And he needs to be treated and loved as an individual.

Not continually compared with the paragon which was your last dog in his last years.

For me, this is the joy of having a new puppy! A new person to get to know - his fears, his foibles, his character - what he enjoys, what he loves.

Your old dog was wonderful and your new dog will be wonderful too.

Just cut him some slack and learn with him and here’s that free Workshop where you can begin your journey with your new puppy:

Here’s a free Workshop to

get you started.

Work with the dog you’ve got .. Not the one you thought you were getting!

I can’t tell you how many times people tell me that their new dog doesn’t measure up to their old dog.

Sometimes they’re comparing their new puppy with a devoted and much-loved pet who died aged 15, having spent his last few years in a quiet retirement.

He fitted their family like an old shoe.

And, unaccountably, they expect the new puppy to take up where the old dog left off, complete with the lifetime’s learning.

When you look at it, you can see how daft this is!

But we seldom look at things this clearly.

We so enjoyed life with the old dog that we’d like to carry it on uninterrupted.

And when you step back and reflect, you can see clearly that this is an unrealistic expectation to place on the newcomer’s shoulders.

But it doesn’t seem to stop us doing it!

Hidden standards for our dogs

There’s also the fact that you get your dog with a vision of your future together.

🐾 This may include an active dog sport … and your dog turns out to have bad hips and can’t compete.

 🐾 It may be long tramps over hill and moor … and you got a lapdog who is quite unsuited to this.

🐾 Or it may be that you enjoy social activities with friends and their dogs .. and your dog is of a nervous and timorous disposition and does not enjoy these outings one bit.

Reality check!

The thing is, you have to work with the dog in front of you, not the one you wish you had! 

You can never turn an apple into an orange, however hard you try.

And you can’t change your dog’s intrinsic nature. That is doomed to failure.

You can certainly teach him, and improve things - dramatically!

But he’s still who he is.

And accepting this is the only way forward.

“But all my dogs love xyz!”

That doesn’t mean that this one will - or indeed should!

How many times do you see children in the same family - same parents, same school, same ethos, same upbringing - but who are polar opposites in character?

You can have all the nature vs nurture discussions you like, but when it comes down to it, your dog (or child) is who he is, and the sooner you accept that and discard your rose-spectacled vision of who you thought he should be, the better!

Enjoy the journey!

And part of living with another creature is finding out what makes them tick. What they like. What they don’t like. How to please them, and how not to upset them. 

Judging your dog will never help!

Your new dog will never measure up to the memory of your old dog.

Don’t set him a target he can never reach.

Instead, rejoice in his individuality and work with the dog who’s right there, in front of you (or on your lap).

That’s the way to find true harmony with your new dog.

Need a bit of help with a Growly Dog? Watch our free Masterclass and talk to us in the chat about your particular issues with your dog.

We’d love to help you make the changes you’re looking for.

Teaching your dog impulse control through tug - 10 STEPS

Would you love to be able to play with your dog without toothmarks all over your hands and arms, rips in your clothes, and your shoe-laces being undone?

There is a WAY to teach this! Phew!

Many folk think you just waggle a toy in your dog’s face and all will be sunlight and joy as they gently tug the toy, let go as soon as you ask, and patiently wait to be offered it again.

Well - I have news for you . . . You can get all those things (without the “waggling in the face” bit, which no-one would like) by following a few basic rules. What’s more, those rules will extend to every part of your life with your dog. Dogs’ teeth should never touch human skin, and we have great ways for your dog to learn this - all without force or intimidation (or yelling).

And you can see my puppy waiting for the game to start in the picture above.

Instinctive Drives

The thing is, you are harnessing a very strong instinctive drive in your dog, and turning it to your advantage instead of trying to work against it.

All dogs, whatever the breed or type, have the same instinctive drive - to locate prey, stalk it, chase it, catch it, and kill it.

But dogs have been bred for generations to stop at different points in that sequence - Border Collies, for instance, locate, stalk, and chase sheep, but stop short of grabbing them. Gundogs may be only required to locate the prey, or to bring it back undamaged. Terriers on the other hand are required to simply clear the barn of rats, so they do the whole sequence.

It’s because it’s hardwired that this is the best game of all for your dog, and they learn it really fast!

.          

In the Brilliant Family Dog Academy we go into detail on just how to teach this, with the full 10 rules - yes, 10 of them that you need to follow - carefully taught, along with personal tuition and troubleshooting for serious mouthers!

How does this teach impulse control to your dog? Well, he has to WAIT to be able to grab the toy. That is good early learning for any puppy who wants something. If he pounces as soon as he sees his prey, rather than lining it up and thinking about it, the bunny will probably hop away. Taking time to assess the situation is vital!

Then he learns to tug with you with equal strength. You don’t want your big dog pulling you over! It’s a game - that means you both enjoy it.

And of course, he learns to release instantly on request .. and not to try and grab it again! That’s when a lot of bitey damage can be done.

If you try to snatch something away from a dog, whether it’s a toy, your shoe, a baby, a kitten - you are stimulating the chase-and-grab instinct. So there’s a way to do this without provoking that reaction - and we can show you!

Not only will you be able to play enjoyable tuggie games with your dog, but you’ll also be able to ask him to give you whatever’s in his mouth if you’re worried he’s picked up something dangerous. Double whammy.

10 Steps for playing Tug

Teach your impulsive dog impulse control

Coco at 15 weeks pulls hard on the tug

1. Choose a toy that is soft on  the mouth, long enough for   you to be able to stand up while playing, keeping teeth at one end and hand at the other. It needs to be narrow enough for your dog to grab it easily. Fleece plaits are excellent, a soft toy like a monkey with long flappy legs, or sheepskin or rabbitskin tug. It’s your toy. You allow your dog to play with it when you want, and only if he keeps to the rules. Because it’s never left on the floor - and the only time your dog gets to play with the tug is with you on the end of it - it becomes a very high-value toy.

2. You are harnessing a very strong instinctive drive in your dog, and turning it to your advantage instead of trying to work against it. All dogs, whatever the breed or type, have the same instinctive drive - to locate prey, stalk it, chase it, pounce, catch it, and kill it. Dogs have been bred to stop at different points in that sequence - Border Collies, for instance, locate, stalk, and chase sheep, but stop short of grabbing them. Terriers on the other hand are required to simply clear the barn of rats, so they do the whole sequence. It’s because it’s hardwired that this is the best game of all for your dog.

3. When playing, always keep the tuggie low on the floor - this is to prevent your pup jumping and injuring himself as he lands. It also keeps the teeth pointing downwards and he’s less likely to grab your hand or sleeve. You’ll get hurt if he’s leaping up to catch the toy.

Coco starts to chase the toy 

4. Start by snaking the tuggie around on the floor, like a rabbit or a rat. Remember, rabbits don’t lollop along and jump into dogs’ mouths!

5. So don’t flap the toy in his face. Wiggle and jerk it around on the floor simulating a rodent’s action - stop, twitch whiskers, run - this is what stimulates the chase instinct and is the signal to play. You never let go of the tug. It may take a while for your puppy, or a dog new to play, to chase - and he may start by pouncing and stamping on the toy. Now encourage that chase and he’ll soon be grabbing it with his mouth.

6. Encourage your dog to grip tight on the tug. Pull just enough to get him pulling back, and if he lets go: “Oh, you lost your dinner!” and start again. Have a great game, but don’t be too rough or hurt his teeth. Growling is part of the game - you can growl too.

7. When you’re ready, relax your pull so the tuggie goes limp (animal now dead) and hold a treat to your dog’s nostrils. Some dogs cannot let go if the tug is taut. As he lets go to eat the treat, put the tuggie behind your back - not past your face! The reward for letting go? Your dog gets to play again!

8. Bring the tug out from behind your back, and tease him a little with it around your waist-height. If he tries to grab it, it goes straight behind your back (never past your face). Repeat till he shows that he wants it but is not jumping or grabbing, then immediately whack it to the floor - game on! He doesn’t have to sit or stay - just show that he wants it, but he’s not going to snatch it. He’ll soon learn that he only gets the toy when it’s whacked on the ground. This is a great protection for small children carrying teddy bears about, and for your sleeves.

Coco waits for the game to start again

9. As you both become more expert at this game - which should become your dog’s top favourite - you can use the cue "Geddit" as you whack the tuggie to the ground, and "Give" as your empty hand approaches his nose. In time you can offer him the toy off the ground, so long as he knows he can never grab it. Sometimes, cover the toy with your hand and watch your dog working out how to hold it without touching you.

10. If his teeth touch your hand or sleeve, your dog will be aware, so shriek to interrupt him, put tug behind your back, and wait for a moment for calm before offering it again. He should now be much more careful. If he’s over the top, put it away till later. He may be too tired to play nicely. If a puppy can’t control his teeth, it usually means he’s overtired and needs a zizz in his crate.

Want to learn more like this?

Get our Guide: 10 Ways to Stop Puppy Biting here!

Where should you get your dog advice?

I was distressed recently by a reader.

Now I have to say I love answering readers’ queries, and helping them get the best for their dog and themselves, in their particular circumstances. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

If they’re asking it’s because they realise they don’t know the answer, and want help. But sometimes you get someone who doesn’t want to learn . . .

This person wanted to know why her 8-week-old medium-size puppy cried all its first night. I asked her a few questions while giving her resources. It seems this tiny puppy had been fed six hours before bedtime and was expected to last on this till the next morning.

No wonder it couldn’t sleep!

The poor puppy was starving!

At that age it should have been on 4-5 meals a day. I explained this to my correspondent, giving resources again.

And she replied that the vet had said this 8-week-old puppy should be fed half a cup of food twice a day only. For English readers, this would be about 3.5 oz of food in total - enough to keep a sparrow alive.

Clearly no proper vet would say such a daft thing! She simply must have misunderstood somehow.

To cheer you up in this tale of woe, here’s a nice full puppy sleeping!

By the way, for English readers, here’s a load of money off a super food I regularly use and here’s another where you can get a big discount using this link - they provide high-quality fishy treats and foods, which are firm favourites with my crew!

But it set me thinking …

In this case the vet was asked about feeding - something that should come squarely within the vet’s remit.

But so often people take behaviour advice from their breeder (that’s fine if it’s a real breeder and not a puppy farmer or designer-dog “greeder”), or their groomer, or their vet, or the milkman . . .

Behaviour advice should be taken from people who are trained in dog behaviour!

Simple as that!

😳 You wouldn’t ask your hairdresser about a skin disease - you’d go to the doctor.

😮 You wouldn’t ask your gardener why your house is falling down - you’d go to a builder or engineer.

So please - don’t take behaviour advice from anyone but a qualified dog trainer/behaviourist!

And if the advice you get makes no sense (who’d feed a small baby twice a day with a set amount of food?) don’t do it!

***

Footnote: What happened to that puppy? I have no idea. The owner told me my advice would only work for people who didn’t work, then unsubscribed. Presumably they leave the puppy alone all day while they’re out - afraid, lost, and starving. So upsetting . . .

I do what I can to change people’s approach to dogs. One dog at a time. This was one I couldn’t reach.

But hey! You’re reading this, so you understand and know just what I mean!

We have to keep spreading the word.

And if you know someone who’s just got a puppy and is struggling - send them here so they can start the right way!

Have you lost a beloved dog?

We’ve all been drawn into the love of a dog, and for many of us we have also experienced the loss of a dog.

And sometimes that loss is harder to bear than others.

🐾   Perhaps that dog rescued you when you needed help most.

🐾  Perhaps you bonded with each other in a new and magical way.

🐾   Perhaps you looked forward to waking up every morning, to see that joyous smile.

🐾   Maybe your special dog came with special problems that needed a very special dedication to help her overcome them.

Whatever the reason, losing a dog can be heartbreaking and a lot of people struggle to get over it.

They stay sunk in grief. Grief is an important process, and sometimes, if your dog is old or ill, that process starts a long time before you actually lose them.

But after a time, you owe it to yourself and your dog’s memory to face the world without them.

I’ve always found the best insurance is to have multiple dogs! And it wasn’t too long after Rollo died last year aged 15½ that I found I couldn’t live without a Border Collie in my life and set about researching and finding the right puppy for me.

Talking to your dog

Talking to your lost dog is a very good way to help you over the pain. Yes! I talk to Rollo! And he talks to me.

You may feel shy about mentioning the fact that you too talk to your departed dog/s - you may think people will not understand, and laugh at you.

But we very much understand! Don’t be shy here.

New release!

And to take this to another level entirely, I suggest you take a look at this brand new book from Anya Gore, Life and Soul Dog: An Animal Communicator and her Canine Companion share their Experiences and Wisdom, to Help and Inspire you. 

Here is how Anya describes the reason she wrote her book:

“When my beloved dog Zoe passed away, the grief was so intense I could barely breathe. I cried and cried. She’d been ill for some years, and we’d nursed and saved her many a time, but finally she’d reached the end of the road. Towards the end of her life we started some deep conversations, and these have continued since her passing. She led me through the grieving process step by step and taught me much about how to navigate that, and the blessings to be found beyond the sadness…even because of the sadness. She continues to share her messages of wisdom with me and with others too.”

Anya Gore, Author of Life and Soul Dog

And if this book inspires and helps you, it will be marvellous if you can leave a brief review where you purchased it, so that others may be encouraged to learn about Zoe and Anya, and be inspired and helped in their turn.

Note: The coloured pencil drawings on this page and on Anya's book cover are by me. You can find lots more at www.beverleycourtney.com/drawings

I don’t have time to train my dog!

Do you get to the end of the day - or worse, the end of the week - slump into your armchair and say, “Oh no! Forgot to train the dog!”

I understand. Our lives are already full to bursting with all the things we have to do .. and all the things we think we have to do .. and fitting in lengthy dog training sessions just seems to slip through the cracks.

But the trick is - don’t have lengthy sessions! If you do want to have a training session, then by all means do - but five minutes is the most you’ll normally need. (That is until you get into serious competition or performance training - which perhaps you never will want to do.)

For getting our family dogs and puppies on the same page as us - and becoming the perfect companion we wanted when we went to all the trouble to find them! - you need to use All Day Training.

All Day Training

“Wossat?” you say.

Well, it’s my recipe for getting my dogs trained at the same time as running a couple of businesses and writing books.

It’s how you can manage your family, your work, and your dog!

You see, all day long you are interacting with your dog. Every interaction is a training opportunity - it’s not isolated to lessons or classes.

And all day long you have the chance to ensure that that interaction is moving you forward in life together.

My puppy needed ONE DAY to learn that jumping at the door of the crate or playpen resulted in no escape, while sitting automatically opened the door!

It took another week or so (nine weeks old) to learn that staying sitting when the door is opened is a new requirement to get out.

And then a week (now ten weeks) to learn that this works on house doors too. No door-crashing! No squeezing through cracks!

And how long did this valuable lesson take?

Just a moment.

Just a thoughtful pause in my daily doings.

Instead of throwing the crate door open and being thumped amidships by a wild puppy, I just needed to consider what I would like him to do, then ensure that that was built into our daily round.

The beginnings of an ACE Recall

Another skill your dog can be learning, without effort, all the time, is to respond immediately to his name.

Without this, you’re going to be shrieking and yelling when you want him to bound back to you across a field!

How to get your dog to LURVE his name? You need The Precious Name Game …

.. and you can find out exactly how to play The Precious Name Game in our free Workshop here.

What else?

You can extend this method to everything you want your dog to learn.

You want him to pick things up for you? Incorporate that into your interactions with him.

You want him to greet people politely? Start with teaching him how to greet you politely. And you should have many, many, opportunities in a normal day to do this. Don’t forget to keep this in mind when you’re returning from an outing and he’s going to be extra-excited - this is the ideal time to test your teaching!

You'll find lots more tips and new ideas in my books. And did you know that buying direct from the author can save you money? Go check them out!

What else would you like your dog to learn with so little effort from yourself?

Comment below and let’s take a look at how you can do that!