How often have you seen something you want then stopped yourself and said “That's not for me.”?
(And what does this have to do with our dogs?)
This feeling of insufficiency can show up in many ways .... basically as “I’m not good enough”. And how daft is that? Are you not a capable human being who has got where you are in your life by doing things? You can do lots of things I couldn’t begin to do.
So where did this come from? And more to the point how do we show it the door?
Getting rid of that unhelpful voice in your head is essential to get where you want to be in life.
And for our dogs …
Thing is, if you think that about anything, you may think it about other things too - notably about how you can improve your life with your dog.
Now not everyone wants to become a dog trainer! Not everyone wants to immerse themselves in deep study just to get along with their pooch!
But so many of the niggles and disagreements you have with your dog right now can disappear and float away in a moment - if you have the right approach.
You see, it’s often - in fact, it’s usually - NOT the dog.
“Yes it is!” you say, “My dog does xyz, he’s stubborn / difficult / deaf / self-willed …”
But did you know that if YOU change something that YOU’RE doing, your dog can change - magically, instantly?
Sources of conflict can evaporate. Life is enhanced. You get the Brilliant Family Dog you wanted when you first got your dog.
It’s not the thing itself that makes us feel one way or another. It’s how we respond to that thing.
If you call your child and he says, “in a minute …” you can wait.
OR you can erupt and say “GET HERE THIS MINUTE WHEN I CALL YOU I EXPECT YOU TO COME” etc. Now you’re probably feeling fractious, annoyed, taken advantage of . . . and you generated all that by yourself!
If you’d just given the child a moment, he’d probably have got there soon enough and everyone would be calm and happy.
It’s just the same with your dog!
Dog vs. Owner
Many people turn their days into a sparring match with their dog. Quite unnecessarily!
Everything becomes a major issue. Your dog’s actions are interpreted as “defiance”, “trying to rule the roost”, “out of control”.
Have a look at what this open-minded reader said to me, about the lessons she learned in my free Workshop.
“I’ve watched the Workshop and immediately started doing the three things you suggested. I left the choice to her when I wanted her to do something - honest to God I can’t believe it is that simple - she’s much calmer and responsive, and as a result we are calmer - or is it the other way around?
She got lots of praise and a reward - she was so chuffed with herself too!
I will continue to ensure we practice this - even my husband could see the difference and the sense in it!
Thank you so much for sharing this information - definitely my a-ha moment!” TW
I was particularly touched because
a. She listened with an open mind, tried out the lessons - and found they worked!
b. She went to the trouble to tell me and thank me. Folk are usually quick to chide but slow to bless.
Owner vs Dog
Sadly, there are those who are not so open or ready to learn. They may well be thinking in some way that they’re “not good enough” though they may not admit this to themselves. It’s a simple fear of failure that prevents them having a go and seriously giving the lessons a try.
And it’s a shame that both they and their dog miss out by playing small.
There are plenty of people like my correspondent above who throw themselves wholeheartedly into this new way of existing with their dog - with the splendid result that they are all happier and the whole family operates more smoothly.
Want to know what TW found worked so well?
Watch our free Workshop here and really give the lessons a go. Then you can be writing a triumphant email to me! I look forward to seeing that.
