You get Dog 1.0 - the upgrades are up to you!

It always amazes me when readers write of their puzzlement that their new dog or puppy doesn’t seem to understand what’s wanted.

[Do keep your letters coming - here at Brilliant Family Dog we just love to help! And all queries are read and answered.]

🐾 Maybe they’ve been looking at a friend’s dog, who understands everything.

🐾 Or maybe they’re thinking of their last dog who they had for donkeys’ years, and they simply can’t remember all the teaching they had to do when he was new.

I can remember a new mother asking me when my children were young, “When do their teeth all arrive?”

My response: “I can’t remember, but they’ve got ‘em all now!”

We deal with what we need in the moment, then forget it.

Did you forget?

And maybe that’s what’s happened with your new dog? You’ve forgotten just how much time and attention your faithful old friend needed when he was brand new.

So … you’ll have to do the same with this one too 

An easy way to start your system upgrades :-) is to read any of our Brilliant Family Dog books that you’ll find here: www.brilliantfamilydog.com/books

Even easier? Watch our free Workshop and consider joining many other dog-owners in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy!

There’s a huge range of people and a huge range of dogs. Our oldest dog-student was 15, and our youngest 8 weeks. Our oldest human student is over 80, and we have plenty of people who involve their whole family - especially the children - in the training.

And you can get to meet all of them in our friendly private community!

Don’t soldier on alone! Things can get hard if you don’t know where to turn.

But with kind and compassionate help at hand, you never feel lost or alone on your journey with your precious pet.

Imagine … you can start applying those upgrades today!

Do you have a rescue dog? Or do you have a *dog*?

Have a think.

When did you last describe your dog as a rescue dog?

Last week?

Yesterday?

Today??

Now, if you acquired your new dog just today, I can understand why you may feel the need to say this. You don’t need to, but we’ll come to that . . .

But if you rehomed your dog more than about five minutes ago, she is NOT a rescue dog! She’s YOUR dog!

Labels

We have a dreadful habit of applying labels to everything.

He’s a naughty child. They’re bossy people. That dog is stubborn.

The first thing to realise is that we’re labelling the PERSON because of their behaviour. Just because someone once did something should not colour our perception of them for ever!

The child was not naughty - he may have done something naughty, but that doesn’t mean you can add the label “naughty” so that you always regard his actions through the “naughty” lens.

Those bossy people maybe reacted poorly in a tricky situation. They didn’t handle it well. They’re not “bossy”. They just weren’t up to that task.

And as for the “stubborn” dog . . . if you’ve read any of my writings you’ll know that dogs are not stubborn. They simply don’t understand what you want of them, or don’t see the value in doing it. That means you haven’t taught them yet!

As the renowned Veterinary Behaviourist Karen Overall says (and I love this quote!),

“What we call something matters because it shapes how we think of it.”

Ditch the labels!

All this labelling is doing us - and the “labellees” a disservice. It is changing our perception of them, and alters our response to them.

If you’re told someone is a thief, you’re going to be very careful around them, watch your belongings, not leave them alone without supervision. It will totally govern how you are with them!

And if you label your dog a rescue - think why that is?

• Are you wanting sympathy and a big “Aahh” when you say it?

• Are you implying that anything your dog does is not your fault?

• Are you abdicating responsibility for teaching this dog - something you can’t deny responsibility for with a puppy you got at 8 weeks?

Whatever it is, ditch that label!

Can you see how it’s not serving you or your dog?

So now, next time you speak to someone about your dog - how are you going describe her?

And for more help with your dog - get our free email course on common dog problems! Lots of help for you there.

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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Is love enough for your rescue dog?

• You want to rescue a dog from a shelter - fantastic!

• You’ve already rehomed the dog - amazing!

• You have lots of love to give this new dog - brilliant!

BUT … things don’t seem to be working out as you expected.

You wanted a cuddly dog, and this one hates being touched.

You wanted a dog to go on long walks with, but this one goes nuts as soon as he sees another dog.

You wanted a dog … like your last old dog, or like the dogs you see in the movies, and this one just isn’t measuring up.

Love alone is not enough.

What’s going wrong?

The fact is that this dog has been rehomed with you, without so much as a by-your-leave. And you have expectations of what this dog should be - which are not necessarily shared by the furry fellow himself!

You are at least his third home, in perhaps a few months. He’s been through - who knows what?

• Maybe he was just passively neglected so that he ran riot and his previous owners couldn’t be bothered with him any more.

• Maybe he was actively neglected and suffered torment and ill-health.

• Maybe he came from a puppy farm with zero socialisation and lots of fears.

• Maybe … you name it. You’re unlikely ever to know the truth about his past life. Though this is surprisingly unimportant, in fact.

The thing is, he has a history. And that history is not conducive to making him the dog of your dreams … yet!

You have to put a lot of work in to make a new life for your dog and for you. You expect him to adapt - how about you doing some adapting too?

If he can’t bear to be touched, get help on desensitising him to touch and learning to enjoy it.

If he hates walks and is afraid of other dogs - stop walking him where he’ll see other dogs! First build up a solid relationship of trust between you (yes, both ways) and with professional help slowly introduce him to the joyful aspects of the great outdoors.

If he came from a puppy farm with poor nutrition and no normal socialisation, you can improve his food massively, but trying to undo the lack of socialisation is a long road. But with help, you’ll get there.

Here’s a list of things to do with your newly-rehomed dog:

Remember it’s all new to him! Treat him as a puppy - start from scratch.

1. Keep your new pet in one room of the house to begin with, preferably using a crate when you can't supervise so that nothing can get chewed. Gradually give him more freedom and access to more rooms as he proves reliable.

2. Institute a Puppy Housetraining regime to help your dog know where he may relieve himself, and be really pleased with him when he gets it right.

3. Handfeed as many meals as possible instead of putting down a bowl of food, or you can use food toys like kongs.

4. Never leave any dog alone with any child, not even while you answer the phone. If you leave the room, always take either the dog or the child with you.

5. Resist the temptation to take him out for more than brief walks on lead for the first few weeks. Limit the new experiences he has to face - that includes friendly neighbours and visitors, and most especially other dogs. A rescue dog typically takes 1-2 months to settle into a new home - give him plenty of time. You have the rest of his life to take him everywhere with you.

6. In a few weeks' time, start learning with a force-free trainer. Good classes fill fast, so enrol straight away. No suitable local class? We’ve got you covered! Start here. If you have any problem behaviours before then, seek professional advice quickly, before they become a habit. Avoid those who talk of Dominance or Pack Theory.

7. Dogs don't "look guilty" or "know they've done wrong". They do look anxious if they see you are cross with them (though they may have no idea why). If you start telling your dog off for breaking house rules he didn't know existed you are going to have a hard time earning his trust.

8. Good habits are as hard to break as bad habits, so start as you mean to continue from the moment your dog comes through the door.

9. Most of your free time with your dog should be spent teaching him how to play with toys with you!

And you’ll find this free e-course enormously helpful!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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Doggy expectations!

You’re getting a dog!

All those cries of, “Mummy WHEN can we have a dog?” have been heeded.

It’s going to be your first dog!

Maybe you caved in under pressure. Maybe you’ve always wanted a dog and the time is now right.

But don’t go into this new venture without a hand on your shoulder. You need a roadmap!

First off, are you starting from the right place?

You need to be sure the dog you’re getting is the right one for your family. This article has a lot of advice for the first-time purchaser.

You can follow that article with the first in a series of HOW NOT TO MAKE A GHASTLY MISTAKE with your first dog!

Chosen the right dog?

Great! Now, how realistic are your expectations for your new dog?

Are you expecting your new puppy to slip into the household almost unseen?

Are you expecting the children to know exactly how to behave round a dog?

Are you assuming your rescue dog (who was presumably in the shelter because his previous owners gave up on him) will be the perfect trained, well-mannered, easygoing, dog?  

I find that there are two camps of new dog-owners

1. There are those who expect the very best and are totally unrealistic, expecting the puppy to “train” himself, with never a hair out of place.

2. And there are those who assume it will all be awful.

So some will give their puppy total freedom of the house, then say, “Why do I keep finding puddles? I put him out in the garden every few hours …”

And some will say, “I expected my puppy to bite, but my hands and clothes are shredded by my 5-month-old pup.”

Both of them have got the wrong end of the stick.

Both of them have had faulty expectations.

And neither of them has actually taught their new dog what they’d like of him!

They talk of puddles everywhere, and bitten hands. But you see, neither is inevitable!

Some pups housetrain fast, even without thorough teaching. And many puppies never bite anyone at all.

But you do need to be armed for every eventuality. And the Brilliant Family Dog Academy is the best place for you to learn everything you need to know to make this new relationship a success.

Whether your dog is a puppy or a seasoned campaigner, you’ll need to have some understanding of WHY she’s doing what she does - and ways to kindly divert her into something you find more acceptable.

 You’ll need to understand how to reach your new dog’s mind

And this doesn’t mean shouting SIT ever more loudly in the hope that she’s been swotting up on the English language and knows what you mean!

Did you know you can teach your dog everything she needs to learn without ever putting a hand on her? (Except for cuddles when she wants them, of course! That’s different.)

I love it when people write to tell me how following my guidance has helped make their new dog the Brilliant Family Dog they wanted, as Charlie said about her Busta: “Busta is 10 months now and is a Brilliant Family Dog!”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all new dogs had owners like that?

Here’s where you can start:

 For more about the Brilliant Family Dog Academy I mentioned above, watch our free Workshop and learn all about how you can transform your Li’l Nipper into your Brilliant Family Dog!