Want to know your biggest mistake?

Want to know your biggest mistake? 

It's thinking your difficult dog's behaviour is All. Your. Fault.

Don't you know that blaming yourself is not going to help one bit? or blaming the shelter, that dog in the park, your family, or your dog!

The only thing that will move you forward is understanding. Understanding what's going on with your Growly Dog, and knowledge. Knowing how to change it.

It's really as simple as that!

Loadsa money

But people try to make it appear complex and difficult, to make you think you can't do it on your own, that you have to pay them loadsa money to do things to your dog, giving you methods without explaining anything to you - the person the dog lives with! - as if your dog is broken and needs fixing.

Some trainers will suggest methods that go against your better judgment, your heart.

You got your dog as a companion, to love, to nurture, to share your life - not to punish and abuse.

I'm here to tell you that it is all absolutely unnecessary

There's no need to resort to mediaeval practices - things that are not allowed to be done to people! - in order to get your dog to behave.

In fact, the longer you're asking whywhywhy, beating yourself up, questioning yourself, and trying to put extreme tactics in place, the longer your dog will remain unchanged.

Some of the things you'll be told to do to your dog will actually make her worse. You see, many people, including - sadly - many so-called "dog trainers", think that your dog is being difficult, stubborn, aggressive, wilful - you name it.

Whereas in fact your dog is just AFRAID! 

Your dog is not bad, she’s just afraid.

Do things look different now?

Suppose that you were afraid of spiders. If I shut you in a room full of spiders would you be LESS afraid, or confirmed in your belief that spiders are all BAD?

I know how I’d feel!

But you’ll be relieved to know that you can carry on loving your dog. 

You can continue to see her as your companion. Someone to look after and protect.

And you can still get the change you want, so that your dog - whether anxious, hyper, shy, aggressive - or just plain GROWLY - can become easier to walk, easier to handle, easier to trust - easier to love again.

Hear what Elle said about her damaged rescue dog who was getting steadily worse with several dog trainers:

“Thanks to you and your thorough, kind, humane and effective methods, we have come a long, long way. I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled. 

Thanks to you, we are a beautiful work in progress and we have been able to establish an abiding, deep, and loving bond of trust which brings us joy each and every day…”

Want to restore your bond of trust with your dog and make it “abiding, deep, loving, and joyful”?

 I’ll be bringing you more over the upcoming weeks, so stay tuned.

 We can do this together! 

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

Why is my friend's dog so easy when mine is so difficult? 7 tips to make life easier!

It’s all a matter of perception.

Maybe, for a start, your friend is laid-back and easy-going. While you are wired and anxious by nature.

Perhaps your friend is the kind of earth-mother who can cope happily with a household of children and pets with no cares about being houseproud.

It could be that this is your first puppy, and your friend is on no.4.

Are you comparing apples with oranges? Your friend’s dog could be mature and settled, while yours is still a wild puppy. 

Or maybe … just maybe … the dogs are different, and yours is more challenging.

First puppy?

Is this your first puppy? Many people remark on how easy their second child is compared with their first. The unfortunate first child has to deal with all the expectations, hopes, and fears - not to mention the awkward and novice parenting - and of living up to everything her parent always wanted in a child. Your first pup suffers some of the same unrealistic expectations. Take it easy!

The breed or type of your dog will make a big difference too. Especially if you went for a dog that is bred principally for looks and not purpose or temperament. Many of the currently fashionable so-called “designer dogs” would fit into this category. What I mean by that is that if the breeder is selecting for looks, then temperament may not get much of a look-in. This is where the extreme importance of choosing the source of your puppy wisely comes in. You want to know that the parents’ temperaments have been assessed along with their looks. We’ve all met good-looking cads in our life! We don’t need a four-footed version in our home if we can possibly help it.

If you have chosen a breed or type of dog that has been bred for hundreds - or thousands - of years to do a certain thing, and do it very well, that behaviour will be inbred in the dog. It will be part of his instinctive drive and no amount of saying NO will change that. So you have to know what you’re up against. 

If you don’t want a dog with a strong prey-drive, you may want to avoid sighthounds. If you don’t want your dog to herd everyone into a corner, a herding dog may not suit you. And if you don’t appreciate your lap being filled with socks, twigs, and teddy-bears, maybe pass on a retriever. If you just want a quiet life, don’t choose a high-energy dog! 

Having said that, there is no doubt that ALL dogs are trainable. All dogs will respond to force-free training where they find out for themselves what works - and what doesn’t. But there isn’t any need to make the task harder by starting with more challenging material.

Adult rescue dog

You may have chosen to rescue a dog from a shelter - good for you! - but it's not necessarily roses all the way now. All adult dogs have established ideas and things that they do, desirable or undesirable. So there may be a certain amount of un-training to do while you re-train what you want.

Keep in mind also that a re-homed dog can easily take a couple of months to settle into his new home and know that it’s for keeps. I get lots of emails from people saying “He was great to begin with then after he’d been here two or three months he suddenly started doing xyz, out of the blue.” What was happening was that the new dog was scared to put a paw out of place when he first came, and chose to keep a low profile. Once comfortable and at home, the dog’s true nature is expressed - along with some things you’re not mad about, like reacting to other dogs or house-visitors, or hogging the bed. But don’t worry! A properly-qualified trainer will have the knowledge and experience to turn this around.

Different strokes for different folks

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Your approach to training - indeed to life - could be very different from your friend’s. It’s a long slow process to teach a child not to put sticky fingers on prized possessions. It can be a long slow process to teach an enthusiastic puppy a new (and foreign) way to greet visitors that doesn’t involve flattening them. 

So a relaxed approach is far less stressful for everyone involved. Parents make their home as childproof as is convenient so they don’t have to be standing over their child all day, telling her what not to do. Employ the same strategy for your puppy, who comes equipped with splendid teeth and claws for optimal demolition work.

     1.  Be sure your puppy is in an area where both he and your home are safe, then relax!

     2.  Young puppies should be in the same room as you at all times - except for the large amount of time they’re asleep, when they can be in their crate. Your dog earns his freedom as he demonstrates that he is reliable in new areas. So he doesn’t get free access to the living room, or the garden, until he has proved that he will not dig, soil, bark, or chew, while you’re not watching. 

     3.  If your dog is an ardent chewer, invest in a doggie playpen and feed his habit with lots of chewable items. If his way of playing with the toys you give him is to rip them to shreds, then that’s his choice. Get cheap toys from the charity shop, or plait ropes out of old jeans, so you’re not invested emotionally in the state of the toy. It’s his toy - allow him to know best how to enjoy it. You can, of course, teach him interactive play with you with his toys, so he finds they’re more fun when you are hanging onto the end of them. 

    4.  Ensure your pup is getting the right amount of rest - this is around 17 hours a day for an adult dog. Yes, 17 hours a day. So, more for a puppy. “He never stops,” is always a red flag to me. I know there will be behavioural issues with a dog who can’t switch off. And people usually find their puppy’s behaviour improves dramatically - especially in relation to biting - once they’re getting enough sleep. And if your puppy is not yet giving you a peaceful night’s sleep, read this one.  

"I really want to learn how to please you!"

   5.  Tailor your expectations to your dog, his breed or type, his history, and your experience. We don’t expect our toddler, or our schoolboy, or our lovesick teenager, to behave like responsible adults. We educate, coax, and encourage them to reach this state of virtue - often ignoring the things they do which we don’t want repeated. Remember that “educate” means literally “lead out of”. So we are using our knowledge to lead our hooligan child or puppy out of the darkness of ignorance, and into the civilised world. This takes time!

   6.  A puppy of around six months old is developmentally somewhere near a child of 9-12. Don’t expect too much too soon!

    7.   Be careful what you draw attention to! What you focus on is what you get, so be sure you show your dog what you’d like him to do in any situation, rather than nag and complain when he doesn’t know. This article will give you some guidelines. 

Once you satisfy your new companion’s basic, instinctive, needs - and adopt a realistic view of the training task ahead - you’ll be able to put some boundaries in place so you can all get along in the same household without friction.

And start enjoying your dog’s individuality!
 

To change your dog you need to change yourself first! Watch our Free Workshop and find out how to transform your “deaf dog” into a LISTENING DOG!

Here's your free email course to sort out lots of potential problems with your new dog or puppy

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