Dog reactivity - what actually is it?

This post was first published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

Got a reactive dog? A fearful, anxious, or aggressive dog? A dog who barks and lunges at everything she sees? This is just for you!

My three books on Growly Dogs - Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - are full of strategies and techniques to help you with your difficult dog, and I thought I’d give you a chapter from Book 1: Why is my dog so growly? to get you started on the road to change.

Chapter 1: Reactivity - what is it

“What do we mean by this word “reactivity”? Basically, it means that your dog is reacting to his environment, but that instead of being able to assess the situation calmly, make good judgements, and move on, he’s stuck in “See dog: bark!”

You may think your dog is weird - that one moment he’s a happy dog inside the house, and as soon as you step outside he turns into a snarly monster. Imagine you’re enjoying tea and cake at a friend’s house. You’re happy and relaxed. Then your friend takes you to see his reptile collection (Oh no!! Exactly what makes your skin crawl!). In that room full of snakes and lizards, do you feel as comfortable as you were in the tea-and-cake room? And when he opens the cage and offers you one to hold ... that’s when you may panic and need to get out of the room.

Have you ever felt anxious and jittery for some reason? Worried about an interview, perhaps, or waiting for news from the hospital. Every bang or squeak makes you jump! Imagine living in that state all the time.

And at the bottom of this is usually FEAR. The reason your dog is making such a hullabaloo at the sight of another dog (or person, bike, jogger, car, plastic bag, you-name-it) is because she’s trying to keep it away from her. Putting on an Oscar-winning display of teeth, claws, and noise usually does the trick.

The other person or dog may think, “This is a nasty dog, I’m outa here,” or you - in your embarrassment and confusion - take the dog away, or dive into someone’s driveway till the other has passed. Either way, for your dog, the barking and lunging worked! The threat is no longer there!

Sometimes this response is totally misunderstood by the owner, who says, “He drags me towards every dog because he wants to play”.

In a later chapter we’ll be looking in detail at Dog Body Language. It’s possible you are not recognising some of the things your dog is telling you! It will be much clearer when you’ve learnt his sophisticated method of communication.

“Dogs do what works” 

I will be saying this over and over again. Your dog doesn’t have a secret agenda to terrify the neighbourhood; she has no wish to fight with every dog she sees. All she wants is for the thing that’s coming at her to go away. And she’s discovered that her fear reaction of barking and prancing often works. So that’s what she’ll keep doing.

Until ... we show her another way to get the same result! Without anxiety, distress, and disarray.

Your dog is not aggressive, nasty, vicious - any of the names that passers-by may give her. She’s just afraid.

If this comes as a surprise to you, have a look at other aspects of your dog - around the house for instance. Does she jump at loud bangs? Does she bark at visitors? Is she deeply suspicious of any new object in her environment, creeping up slowly to inspect it on tippy-toes with outstretched neck? Does she get distressed when she’s left alone? Is it hard to brush her, or trim her feet?

All these can also be indicators of an anxious dog who is more likely to react to strange dogs, people, or things, when out.

And keep in mind that your dog can be afraid of anything at all. While many reactive dogs are reactive to other dogs, there are plenty who are just fine with other dogs, but terrified of traffic, or tractors, or people, or children ...

But my dog’s friendly!   

Another reason some dogs become reactive is frustration. They may really want to meet every dog or person in the world and expect a good outcome. This may work when they’re off-lead and able to get away (more about that later on), but it may also come apart quite quickly when the other dog doesn’t welcome the intrusion, or is much bigger and bolder than your dog first thought.

Off-lead this can result in a panic response where your dog snaps and barks before running away. There is scope for this to go badly wrong, if the other dog joins in the fray. On-lead the frustration grows very quickly, as the dog does not have the freedom to do what he wants, and little impulse control to deal with these feelings. So he barks and lunges towards the other dog.

The symptoms are the same as for the fear-barker - though the underlying cause is slightly different. This dog’s actions are often misunderstood by his owner, who fears they have an aggressive dog.

The frustrated dog may have poor social skills, racing up to a strange dog and hurling himself in their face, or on top of them. Imagine someone doing that to you in the street: you’d have a thing or two to say, I’m sure!

He may be stuck in puppyhood, thinking that racing up to every dog is ok. This dog needs to learn manners, just as our children do. We wouldn’t accept behaviour from a teenager or adult that we’d accept from a three-year-old child. It would be most inappropriate. And yet many owners think it’s ok that their dog should jump up at every dog they see, just because they think he’s friendly.

Jekyll on-lead, hyde off-lead? 

I find a lot of people saying to me that their dog is only reactive on-lead, and that off-lead “he’s fine!”

I can only say that I’ve never seen a dog-reactive dog who is “fine” off-lead. 

A little study of dog body language will reveal a lot of signs of discomfort in this dog. The only advantage of being off-lead is that the dog can get away before things get out of hand. And because this is not possible when he’s on-lead, we get the “fight or flight” result: b-a-r-k-i-n-g.”

It’s hard to do this alone - but you don’t have to! You can choose to work directly with me and my team of highly-qualified trainers. Start with the free Masterclass for Growly Dogs here

To read more of this book, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-books where you’ll find all three books, available on Amazon in ebook and paperback - and a box-set of all of them at once!

MY DOG DOESN’T LIKE OTHER DOGS: 5 STEPS TO STOP THE BARKING AND LUNGING

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

We’ve all seen it.

Person and dog are walking along the street.

Dog spots another person or dog and goes ballistic. Barking, lunging, ducking and diving, in a flurry of teeth and claws, looking for all the world as if she wants to eat everyone in her path.

Then we see the poor owner trying to deal with this explosion. Usually he tries to restrain the dog physically, shout at her, maybe yank her around on her leash, before beating a disorderly retreat to lick his social wounds and repair his dignity.

The social pressure to appear to be in control of your group - whether they be people or animals - is very strong.

And if we let it, it will make us act in a way we don’t like, indeed a way which is not like us at all!

This can be doubly hard for men.

Why? Because they are expected to be totally in control. And to ensure by whatever means that that control is not challenged or defied. Inability to stop their dog kicking up trouble is perceived - erroneously - as a sign of weakness. So rationality goes out the window, and they act out of character.

The man who was dandling his baby on his knee an hour before is now yelling and yanking his dog about in a way he would hate to see on video. The question is: Why are people so quick to punish their dog?

But my dog is being defiant!

Let’s backtrack a little and find out first of all why your dog is doing this.

The answer, in the vast majority of cases, is fear.

Not aggression, viciousness, nastiness, defiance, stubbornness - just plain, tail-wetting fear.

It may be that the dog was not sufficiently socialised in the critical early weeks; it may be that she had a bad experience which has coloured her perception of strange people or dogs; or it may be that it’s just the way she is.

She’s a delight in the house, brilliant with the kids, but when she’s out she turns into a screaming monster. She sees something that frightens her. She’s on the leash so is unable to flee, so she does her best to look ferocious to repel the invader. She’s shouting “Get away from me! Look - I have teeth! Don’t make me use them!”

None of this is a challenge to your authority! So trying to be the boss is not going to help one bit.

The opposite is true. If your dog sees something that frightens her and then you weigh in and frighten her more, this is going to make matters a lot worse!

Shouting at your young daughter when she shows a fear of spiders is not going to help her overcome her genuine fear of them.

So it is with your dog.

So how can I have a calm walk without all hell breaking loose?

The harsh treatment of dogs advocated by some popular TV programs does not sit well with the way you choose to relate to your family. But there’s no need to treat your dog any differently!

Once you understand that your dog is afraid, this changes your response entirely. She is no longer to be castigated, rather to be helped to cope with a situation which is terrifying her.

This is where your strength and courage come in.

Without fear of what other people may think of you, you’ll be freed to make the right choices to change the dynamic - not just right now, but in the future too.

1. The first thing is to give your dog distance. If the other dog is too close at 30 feet, then get 60 feet away. Think of your little girl and the spider.

2. Let your dog know that she never has to meet a strange person or dog ever again - you will always move her away just as she sees them. Yes - this will turn your previously ordered and linear walk into a bit of a chaotic zigzag, but it will be a calm and peaceful zigzag! This will build her confidence to the extent that this step alone may eventually enable her to pass other dogs without comment.

3. Relax your hands. It’s highly likely (and totally understandable) that whenever you see anything approaching, you tighten the leash in a vice-like grip, tense up, breathe faster, and generally give the appearance of being just as afraid as your dog is! So do the opposite: breathe slowly, lower and relax your hands, say to your dog in a calm voice, “Let’s go!”, and head off in the other direction.

4. Ditch any nasty collars and gadgets promoted for keeping your dog under control. These can only serve to make her more frightened. Imagine putting a straitjacket on your frightened little girl and forcing her to confront the spider! It will magnify the fear immensely. Use a soft collar or harness and a loose lead. No chains. No spikes. No batteries.

5. Reward your dog when she does it right! As soon as you turn away from the impending threat - whether it be 10 feet or 100 feet away - congratulate her warmly on her brilliant self-control! Her lack of stress and distress will be a huge reward in themselves - feeling panicky and afraid is no fun. Always carrying some tasty treats in your pocket will make it crystal clear to her that she has done something that has really pleased you. Dish them out freely when she’s achieved a calm response. Scatter them on the ground for her to hoover up.

Softly, softly, catchee monkey

You are going to make huge strides forward, but you are also going to have setbacks.

See it as a slow progression. Fear is a very strong emotion and doesn’t disappear overnight. You’ll be able to look back in a while and say to yourself, “We couldn’t have walked past that dog a few months ago!”

As you switch from fearing other people’s opinions to focusing on your dog’s needs, you will know that you can make the right choices for your dog’s well being.

 You already do that with your family. Just forget about macho men on the TV beating up their dogs and treat your dog as you treat your children - with empathy and kindness.

It’s not about control, or showing who’s boss. It’s about ensuring the safety and happiness of everyone in your care.

Now you can have the calm walks that you crave!

For a four-part email course that will walk you through this, step by step, head over to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-dogs

 

Want to know your biggest mistake?

Want to know your biggest mistake? 

It's thinking your difficult dog's behaviour is All. Your. Fault.

Don't you know that blaming yourself is not going to help one bit? or blaming the shelter, that dog in the park, your family, or your dog!

The only thing that will move you forward is understanding. Understanding what's going on with your Growly Dog, and knowledge. Knowing how to change it.

It's really as simple as that!

Loadsa money

But people try to make it appear complex and difficult, to make you think you can't do it on your own, that you have to pay them loadsa money to do things to your dog, giving you methods without explaining anything to you - the person the dog lives with! - as if your dog is broken and needs fixing.

Some trainers will suggest methods that go against your better judgment, your heart.

You got your dog as a companion, to love, to nurture, to share your life - not to punish and abuse.

I'm here to tell you that it is all absolutely unnecessary

There's no need to resort to mediaeval practices - things that are not allowed to be done to people! - in order to get your dog to behave.

In fact, the longer you're asking whywhywhy, beating yourself up, questioning yourself, and trying to put extreme tactics in place, the longer your dog will remain unchanged.

Some of the things you'll be told to do to your dog will actually make her worse. You see, many people, including - sadly - many so-called "dog trainers", think that your dog is being difficult, stubborn, aggressive, wilful - you name it.

Whereas in fact your dog is just AFRAID! 

Your dog is not bad, she’s just afraid.

Do things look different now?

Suppose that you were afraid of spiders. If I shut you in a room full of spiders would you be LESS afraid, or confirmed in your belief that spiders are all BAD?

I know how I’d feel!

But you’ll be relieved to know that you can carry on loving your dog. 

You can continue to see her as your companion. Someone to look after and protect.

And you can still get the change you want, so that your dog - whether anxious, hyper, shy, aggressive - or just plain GROWLY - can become easier to walk, easier to handle, easier to trust - easier to love again.

Hear what Elle said about her damaged rescue dog who was getting steadily worse with several dog trainers:

“Thanks to you and your thorough, kind, humane and effective methods, we have come a long, long way. I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled. 

Thanks to you, we are a beautiful work in progress and we have been able to establish an abiding, deep, and loving bond of trust which brings us joy each and every day…”

Want to restore your bond of trust with your dog and make it “abiding, deep, loving, and joyful”?

 I’ll be bringing you more over the upcoming weeks, so stay tuned.

 We can do this together! 

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

The past is ancient history

What happened yesterday is as gone as what happened a thousand years ago. Going over and over it won't change it. Today is our only reality.

There’s no “What if”s and “What did he mean by that”? There's only what happened - and that's gone now. Your perception will change as you pore over it and your version of what happened may be very different from someone else's version.

But here's the danger point.

You may ascribe all sorts of reasons and causes:

🧑🏼‍🦰 Did he do that because he doesn't like me?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Did she say that because it's true?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Is it because I'm no good?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Ugly?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Too young?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Too old?

And if it's about your dog:

🐶 Is he doing that on purpose?

🐶 Is he being stubborn?

🐶 Is he defying me?

🐶 Is he scheming against me?

🐶 Does this mean I'm a useless dog owner?

Our minds can run away with us, but it doesn't alter what happened.

We can only operate in the present moment. That's the only time we have.

Our thoughts create our feelings and it doesn't matter if those thoughts are right or wrong, as long as they help you.

Better questions lead to better answers!

So try starting with some better questions:

❓Could I have done anything differently?

❓Did my dog act this way from fear?

❓Does my dog need more help from me and how can I help him more?

Whenever we ask a negative question, we tend to get a negative answer. "Am I a useless owner?" Yes, you must be, since you ask.

So only ask questions which will bring you helpful answers! Then you can be sure your thoughts are helpful ones.

How does all this affect your relationship with your dog? Just the same as your relationship with anyone else!

If you ascribe evil motives to something your dog is doing, then you are naturally going to blame him and think that he lies there in his basket dreaming up new and terrible ways to shame you.

Of course he doesn’t! He's just a dog. He just does.

You know that really?

So don't let your mind run away helter-skelter with a lot of unhelpful nonsense.

Something happened. That's all. And it's up to us what we make of it. If we want to make it a big thing - a drama - then we're going to feel bad, upset, worried. But if we just see it as something that happened, see it as information for us, we can learn from it and move on.

So rather than “I’m a useless dog-owner with a difficult dog who doesn't like me”. how about “Oh, my dog barked at that dog. I will avoid dogs for a few days to give him a break.”

Dwelling in the past is not conducive to moving forward with fresh eyes, fresh ears and new experiences.

I'm on a mission to change the world, one dog at a time. Will your dog be one of them?

If this line of thinking chimes with you, have a look at my other blog at www.beverleycourtney.com/blog - I think it may appeal to you!

Don’t be bamboozled by a dog trainer!

I aim to build confidence in dogs.

But first I have to build confidence in their owners!

So I have a cautionary tale for you this week, which I hope will massively boost your ability to be your dog’s advocate and say NO! when people tell you to do something which doesn’t sit well with you.

Dottie told me an awful story. Her young dog Toby was being a bit of a handful - reactive to other dogs - so she went to a local dog trainer for help. This trainer got Dottie to join a gang of strange dogs in a “pack walk”. She equipped her with a slip lead (that tightens without limits) showed her how to yank the lead if Toby pulled, told her other ways to physically “correct” him, and despite her protests and many misgivings, they set out on the walk.

Well, after three hours (3 hours!!) walking, the results were plain to see. Dottie showed me photos which appalled me. Toby’s neck was swollen so much that it looked as though he had a goitre. His feet were sore and bleeding, and he limped pitifully, hopping from one painful paw to another.

Not only was he physically injured, but unsurprisingly, his reactivity had got far, far worse.

What I couldn’t see in the photos, but could clearly hear, was Dottie’s anguish and guilt at what had happened.

When she confronted the “trainer” with these injuries, she was told “Don’t worry, this is normal and will go down after a few days.”

Can you imagine collecting your child from playschool, finding swellings, cuts, and bleeding, and being told “Don’t worry, this is normal and will go down after a few days.”? The mind boggles.

And can you imagine how Dottie felt? Can you imagine how you would feel? She even considered having her little dog put down as she was clearly such a failure that he was now not just reactive but aggressive with it.

We can all learn from this horrible event.

How can I know what trainer is good?

I can understand just how it happened. This trainer advertises her services locally, Dottie applied to her, and she came across as knowing what she was talking about. She clearly fast-talked Dottie into agreeing with the plan she put forward.

She sounded so authoritative! So plausible!

So Dottie quelled her inner voice which was saying, “Is this really right?” and went along with the plans. She went against her better judgment because she was bamboozled by the apparent knowledge and experience of this person - as well as the trainer’s assurances that she loves dogs.

So what could Dottie have done to avoid this catastrophe?

1. Ask questions! Your questions may include “What are your qualifications?” “What do you do if a dog tries to bite you?” “Can I come and watch a session first without my dog?” “What do you think of electric shock collars?”

2. Check up on them! In the UK, force-free trainers should have at least one of the following sets of alphabet after their name: APDT, ABTC, APBC, IMDT, CBATI. In other countries, look out for CBATI, KPA-CTP, Victoria Stilwell, PPG for referrals.

3. Listen to that inner voice! If you’re being told to do something you don’t like the sound of, ask yourself “Would I do this to a baby? Would I do this to my toddler?” If you wouldn’t do it to a child, then there’s no way you should do it to a dog.

4. Be your dog’s advocate! You are the only one he’s got - he puts his trust in you to keep him safe. Be sure to honour that trust.

Here at Brilliant Family Dog you will never be asked to go against your inner voice, your integrity. So you’re quite safe here!

I’m not for one moment blaming Dottie. She has blamed herself quite enough already, and blame and shame are a fruitless endeavour. We can only resolve the past by moving resolutely forward. She has moved on (she found me!) and has got such amazing results with young Toby now that she has said she won’t be looking for another trainer or training method. She is utterly convinced that force-free - and specifically Choice Training - is the way to go.

How can we help other novice dog-owners?

So, even if you don’t need a dog-trainer right now, how about looking at the dog trainers that are in your area? Have a look at their websites and read between the lines! Red-flag phrases would include “balanced training,” “alpha rolls,” “leadership,” “pack,” “pack leader,” “pinch collar,” “e-collar,” (they call electric shock collars “e-collars” to make them sound innocuous, like an e-book) “positive punishment,” “rattle bottles,” “spray collar.” All these words translate to “KEEP AWAY!”

You may be surprised to find that it’s hard to find a trainer who doesn’t espouse these outdated and scientifically discredited attitudes. But being forearmed you may be able to steer a hapless dog-owner away from them.

And believe it or not, you don’t actually need to go to classes to effect enormous change with your dog. Dottie started the change by reading some of my books, then attending one of my free workshops. Used well, the internet is a wonderful place!

So have you checked out one of my amazing courses yet? Video, the spoken and the written word, combine to give you everything you need to know. And you get support and extra coaching too. That’s why students get such great results, and say things like this, from Lisa:

“We had tried lots of different training in the past with very little result, so for my dog to have come along so far in just a few months is really wonderful. This training definitely works! I am now a convert for life and will no longer search for other training. Beverley and her team are definitely the best!”

Click on Courses at the top of this page and have a look. And if you want to be the first to know when the Growly Dog course is next in open enrolment, leave your name here and we’ll be in touch.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

My Growly Dog can’t change

Really?

Why do you think that?

Is it because you’ve tried things in the past and they haven’t worked?

Have you thought that perhaps the things you tried were ineffectual, and it wasn’t the fault of you or your dog. They were doomed never to work because they didn’t take account of the scientific knowledge we have now about how the dog’s mind works.

There are still plenty of people about who want to beat bad behaviour out of a dog. And sadly, many of these are masquerading as your local friendly trainer. This underlines the importance of choosing your trainer from a reliable umbrella organisation who promote force-free training and constant study and upgrading of the skills of their members. There are some links below for you to hunt through.

For help with your reactive, anxious, aggressive, “growly” dog, get our free email course here.

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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You owe it to your dog (and to yourself!) to change things so that walks are no longer miserable, visitors may be allowed to visit, and every sound doesn’t have to be woofed at. 

So what if you found the thing that really made a change for you? 

Would you be willing to give it a try

“I failed my way to success” Thomas Edison

You see, I find that once people have tried something and it didn’t work, they want to give up. To hide their disappointment, to cover up the fact that they thought they’d failed.

To avoid the pain of that failure, which they think is now inevitable.

But in fact, the people who succeed are the ones who keep going - they fall, they get up, and they try again.

A baby falls many times when learning to walk. Does he give up? Of course not! He just keeps going till he masters this one-foot-in-front-of-the-other thing,

How many stories have you read of … business moguls, sports stars, artists … who failed dismally, were doubtless told by their friends and families that they should just pack it in, that it was all a waste of time, that they’d never make it?

But they just KEPT GOING?  

When challenged to give up this daft idea about electric light after 10,000 failed attempts, Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

So you can most certainly help your dog to change, and transform life for the both of you!

• No more hiding behind hedges when you see someone coming.

• No more barricading your home from visitors as if it’s Fort Knox.

• No more “I need to take the dog for a walk but I can’t face it.”

You just need to find a method that is kind to your dog, is not onerous for you, and that works! 

I want to show you just what is possible for you and your dog. And I know it’s possible because of what I’ve achieved with my own dogs and the thousands of dogs I have helped. 

Make a start with this email course which gives you a springboard to understanding why your dog does what he does, and therefore how you can start the change.

And check out the many articles for Growly Dogs here on this site. You have found someone who can help you! Don’t lose sight of that. 

News will be coming soon of some exciting developments for helping you and your Growly Dog. Keep an eye out!

RESOURCES:

Fix everyday dog problems fast - free email course

APDT(UK)

KPA

VSPDT

IMDT

CBATI

PPG