Do you walk with your dog or behind him? Learn how to make a lasting change!

First published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

How many people do you see walking their dogs in comfort?

I find it’s very rare to see an owner walking their dog where the dog is not several feet ahead, the owner’s arm outstretched as they stumble along after their wayward hound.

“He’s so eager to get where we’re going,” they gasp, as they are dragged past.

Why do most people get a dog? Companionship and getting out and about would be among the commonest answers. Is what we’ve just seen in any way a companionable walk? Would that same person tolerate their child hauling them along like this? Or their partner??

How much more enjoyable it is to walk - arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand - with someone who shares your journey? Someone who can look at you and smile. Who can remark on things that you pass, draw attention to things they see, and generally live this piece of your life with you.

Why not have this level of companionship on walks with your dog too?

Start as you mean to continue

In my experience, many people start out wrong with their puppy, who grows into a strong dog - even little dogs can pull horribly - and the die is cast. The owner’s motives are good, but their kindness is misplaced.

Their little puppy wants to pull out to the end of the lead, so their arm goes up as they let him. Then puppy follows his nose and wants to go further, perhaps towards another dog. Now the owner, with outstretched arm, follows behind.

What has this puppy just learnt?

“If I pull they’ll follow. And if I pull harder they’ll follow faster!”

The companionable walks you envisaged when you got your puppy are now doomed.

It takes two to tango …

.. and if one of us stops, then the other will too. Really.

Your puppy simply needs to learn from the start that pulling on the lead is going to get him nowhere. So then he won’t do it. Your job is to keep a loose hold on the end of the lead with just one hand, and to keep that hand close to you all the time. If you find your hand is floating out of its own accord, just tuck your thumb into your belt or pocket to prevent it.

There’s no need to wrap the lead six times round your fist and hang on grimly with both hands, jerking the lead all the while. That is actually guaranteed to get your dog pulling! Why? Because you trigger the opposition reflex.

If someone grabs your arm and pulls, you automatically pull back. Your body knows it needs to stay upright. If they pull harder, you lean away from them to prevent falling over. This is how we get the common image of dog pulling one way, owner leaning back and pulling the other way. If someone cut your lead in half - you’d probably both fall over!

This puts a huge strain on your body - your back and shoulders will probably be complaining most - and a big strain on your dog’s body too. If your dog is pulling into his collar, choking and spluttering, he can be doing some real physical damage to himself - not to mention the impeded blood flow to the brain and the anxiety that anyone feels if there is pressure on the neck. This last is particularly bad news if your dog is fearful or reactive.

You don’t just slap a bridle and saddle on a young horse and say, “Ok, now I’m going to ride you.” It takes time, acclimatising the horse to this new kit, its feel and weight, and how it affects his movement. So I’m not at all sure why people expect to put a collar and lead on a puppy and get perfect walking straight away!

You have to teach your dog first. You have to show him what it is that you want, what it is that will be rewarded. And gradually he’ll learn that life is better when he’s not pulling, and it’s more fun to be sharing his walk with you.

Here’s a starter for you to get your teeth into

1. Have the dog on a longish lead (at least 2m)

2. Stand still and let the dog go to the end of the lead

3. Keep your hand close to your hip - tuck thumb into your belt if necessary

4. WAIT. Wait till the lead slackens the tiniest bit (you may think you'll need to wait forever, but it's usually only 20 seconds at most)

5. Call your dog cheerfully and reward with a tasty treat at your knee

6. It doesn’t matter why the lead gets loose - don’t judge - just reward as soon as it does

7. Repeat till your dog gets that it's up to him to keep the lead loose

So you need to spend time teaching him - the kitchen is where a lot of my training takes place - that when he’s beside you, good things happen. Once he knows where he should be, he has a fighting chance of putting himself there.

We learn by making choices …

.. as does your dog. So you need to give your dog a choice - not by limiting his movement, with your tightly-wound lead - but by giving him enough loose lead for him to move away then choose to move back to you. A six-foot leash is ideal for this, and the only bit you need to hold - gently - is the handle!

If you never give someone a choice, then they can never make a good choice.

You want to give your dog the opportunity to make a choice. You’ll get some poor choices (he pulls forward, you don’t follow) and some good choices (he looks at you and waits beside you, you congratulate him and move forward together).

I can hear the cry going up already: “My dog has been pulling on the lead for years - there’s no hope of changing him now!” Wrong. You can change - once he realises it’s worth his while to stay beside you with the lead loose, he’ll choose to do that.

The mysteries of walking nicely on the lead unravelled! With no nasty gadgets or shouting.

I’ve given you enough to get you started on your new life of pleasant dogwalking. But to get the whole process, broken down into tiny steps, with Troubleshooting sections for all your “What if…?” questions, you’ll enjoy Let’s Go! Enjoy Companionable Walks with your Brilliant Family Dog, the third in the series of Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog, available from Amazon now. Go now, and you can be reading it within minutes!

And in case you missed my first piece “My dog can’t keep still - he’s wild all the time!”  you’ll be pleased to know you can still get the first book in the series free at all outlets!

The magical connection of your hand-touch

This article first appeared on 2houndsdesign.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Holding hands is our way of showing affection to our loved ones. Our hands should always build trust - you never want to see a child or a pet flinching away from a hand!

I’d like to show you a quick and easy way to instil confidence in your dog - while getting her to fit in with what you want.

It’s the Hand-touch.

And you can use it to ask your dog’s permission to handle her, to put on her harness, to fall in beside you when you’re walking, to teach her tricks, to bring you the thing she’s carrying - once you have the hand-touch in your toolbox you’ll find ever more uses for it!

How to teach it? Oh, so easy!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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◆   Have a supply of small but tasty treats. Cheese or hot dog are always popular, just pea-sized pieces.

◆   Place a treat in the palm of your hand and hold it out to your dog at her nose-level to eat.

◆   Repeat a few times till she’s keen to engage in this hand-feeding game.

◆   Now, with the same rhythm you’ve just built up over several repetitions, offer her your hand without a treat in.

◆   She’ll smoosh her nose into your hand, look surprised to find nothing, then you instantly give her the treat with your other hand.

◆   No need to say anything much, except the odd “good girl,” or “Yay!”

◆   Repeat several times, till she’s pressing her nose to the palm of your hand, and even holding it there for a moment, before you give the treat.

◆   Keep this light, quick, and FUN!

◆   Once you’ve done a few sessions to consolidate the learning, you can move your hand slowly as your dog touches her nose to it - now you can have her follow your hand!

So how could you use this new hand-touch?

✓   Putting on her harness: Loop your harness over your wrist, offer your hand, and while she’s touching your palm you can drop the harness over her head.

✓   Re-direct her attention: Have her follow your hand to get through a narrow gap without tripping you over, or to guide her away from a clamouring child or a glaring dog when you’re out.

✓   Make contact for reassurance: like sports teamies do, whether they’ve won or lost the point.  

✓   Body-care: Ask for a hand-touch to give you permission to start grooming your dog, or checking her feet. If she doesn’t want it done, she’ll turn away from your hand. Time for you to find out how to make grooming more of a two-way thing, and comfortable!

✓   Follow your hand: Teach the Stand and the Down - just by getting your dog to follow your hand with her nose.

Now, what can you come up with? Post your ideas in the comments below!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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Your dog wasn’t born knowing this! You have to teach her

I hear this so often:

• “My dog pulls me all over the place on the lead”

• “My dog criss-crosses in front of me so I trip”

• “My dog has pulled me over in the road!”

• “My dog is always ahead of/dragging behind me”

as if it’s the dog’s fault!

How can your dog comply with wishes that are never expressed?

How can he understand if you don’t explain to him?

How can he know what you want him to do if you never teach him!

It really is no use complaining to others what your dog does on a walk, if that’s what you allow him to do.

And if you don’t take active steps to change this, that’s what you’re doing. By “active steps” I don’t mean moaning and crying and yelling “get back” or “stop!” or “*$**&** dog!”

What I mean is a proper program of Loose Lead Walking. There are plenty of them about. Mine is here - Let’s Go! Enjoy companionable walks with your Brilliant Family Dog:

Students of Brilliant Family Dog Academy and From Challenging Dog to Brilliant Family Dog also get the benefit of this full program, along with step-by-step videos so they can get it right fast!

There are others, of course. And as long as you’re not using nasty gadgets, horrid collars, slip leads, retractable leads, tightening harnesses, tightening head collars - or any other aversive nasty, you should be ok.

And the system you choose needs to be proactive - that is to say you teach the dog what it is you want, rather than continually correct him for what you don’t want.

Continually punishing someone for doing something they had no idea was wrong is … WRONG! It’s also counter-productive. Your dog will think, “I’d rather have the sustained pain of choking into my collar than be told off the whole time and I don’t know why.”

Yes, that’s quite a lot of thought to impute to the humble dog. But I think you get the gist.

If you can teach your dog what you want and give him a choice in the matter, you’ll find things go much more smoothly! AND get the result you want. 

Not just walking nicely on the lead

And it’s not just Loose Lead Walking where you need to give your dog an inkling of what you want, not expect him somehow to divine your desires magically.

It applies to anything you’d like him to do - sleep in his bed and not yours, sit at the kerb before crossing the road, travel calmly and quietly in the car, greet visitors politely, leave your food alone on the kitchen worktop …

I’m not saying you have to do all those things - they’re just examples of what you may like to actually teach your dog, rather than expect him somehow to know.

And none of these things include yelling “Gerroff! Stop! LEAVE IT!”

Once you follow a proven program and teach your dog what you want, you have peace and harmony in the home. You can trust your dog to do what you would like him to do, and he can trust you not to tell him off for breaking secret rules.

You can ask him to do things, not command him. How often do you command your house-mate or spouse? “Make me a coffee. I said make me a coffee! Make it now!”

Of course you don’t do that! You ask, politely, courteously, and ready to hear and respect the response you get. “I can’t right now, I’m in the bath,” doesn’t lead you to a meltdown, any more than “I can’t sit right now, there’s a dog staring at me over there,” should.

When it comes to it, we all want a peaceful and loving life with our dog - isn’t that why we got a dog in the first place?

Owning a dog is definitely a two-way street. You have to make sure your side of the street is open and has readily-understandable messages flowing down it. Then you’ll be able to hear your dog’s messages and come to an understanding with him.

“When the long line is on your harness you can wander about. When the short lead is connected, you walk beside me. Deal?”

Be sure you’re in conversation with your dog, not being a drill sergeant!

Plenty of ideas in this free 8-lesson email course for changing your life with your dog!

   

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Make life easy for you and your dog!

“Why are you carrying that lump of a child the whole time?” the woman asked of my friend Jessica. “He must be two if he’s a day. Where’s his pushchair?”

Jessica blushed and struggled on, hoisting her well-built two-year-old son onto her hip. She didn’t want to have to answer this sensible question. She was exhausted carrying the wriggly heavy child for hours, but she was under the thumb of her partner, who had decreed that no child of his would be put in a pushchair, and that his mother had to carry him whenever he could not walk. Apart from wearing out his mother who had no free hands for anything else, this prevented the child from interacting with his world without parental pressure. It blocked the path of discovery, self-awareness, confidence. 

This madness extended to the home, where the boy was not allowed to sleep in a cot. 

The result? Midnight mayhem. Whenever he awoke, Basil would - naturally enough - slide out of bed and start wandering. Naps were impossible if Basil decided he wasn’t sleepy enough. Result: unrested and overtired child - and all parents freeze with apprehension at the thought of that!

It’s hard enough bringing up a toddler, without both hands being tied behind your back.

Most parents would consider these attitudes lunacy - the result of Jessica’s spouse’s bullying. 

So why do people do the exact same thing with their dog?!

I’m always surprised when I come across resistance to using a crate for a dog. 

Using a crate for a dog is just the same as using a cot for a child.

There’s no question of punishment. The crate is his bed, his own space; it has plenty of toys and chews in it; all meals are fed in it; stuffed food toys are given in it. It’s a haven where he’s safe from other dogs, cats, children, the world. All he has to do in it is r-e-l-a-x. 

Here you see Coco Poodle relaxing in his much-loved crate. It even has a handle for him to pull to open it when he wants to go in for a break. 

You should always know exactly where your dog is. If you ask him to go in his crate when you go out, you’ll know that when you come back you’ll be greeted by a smiling, stretching, cool, rested puppy, with no chewed cables or furniture, no upturned bin, and no pee on the floor. Your pleasure at seeing each other will be genuine and untrammelled by recrimination, bad temper, and frustration. 

Leaving him loose to entertain himself in the house instead of getting his valuable shut-eye, will make you bad-tempered and cross, and your puppy will have NO idea what he’s done wrong - just that you don’t like him and you may be dangerous. This is not the way to create an unbreakable bond with your dog!

So why would you resist this simple solution to so many aggravations?

Don’t labour on like Jessica did, making housetraining, chewing, and life in general much, much harder. Use the tools that are available to you, just as most parents do with their small children. 

More info on how to crate-train happily here

And have a look at just how I train my own puppies! in this small but perfectly formed mini-course

Where are my spoons? Why your dog runs out of calmness

It’s a puzzle to so many people. Their dog is easygoing and tranquil, and out of nowhere he snarks at another dog - or snaps at a child - or even growls at you! 

Maybe your dog is not so easygoing and you have just learned to live with these “random” outbursts. You never know when he’s going to be in a good humour, and when he’s going to have a meltdown.

But you CAN know! 

If you’re aware of what’s using up your dog’s patience stores, you’ll be able to manage him so that he doesn’t run out entirely, and be left with no way to go except have an outburst.

What you need to learn about is known as Trigger Stacking. And at the moment we have a huge extra trigger that many people simply aren’t aware of.

Heatwave!

In the UK at the moment we are enjoying (or suffering!) extreme weather. Weeks of temperatures in the high 70s and 80s (that's the high 20s in new money) - we’re not used to it at all!

So spare a thought for your dog, who has to wear his full fur coat regardless of the weather. 

You doubtless know all the commonsense advice for dogs and hot weather: 

• Ensure plenty of fresh water is available

• Brush out the winter coat as far as possible, and trim and shear hairy beasties

• Cut back on walks - maybe none at all for a few days, and certainly only at the cool ends of the day

• Limit access to the garden UNLESS you have a paddling pool to entertain your dog, or unless he has enough sense to find a shady spot and stay there

• Check temperature of the ground with your hand. Have you seen people doing the hoppy dance on a hot beach when they have no shoes on? 

• Don’t leave your dog in a car, even with the windows open, without taking measures to keep it cool. This will include covering all the windows, ensuring a through draught, running an aircon, and - of course - parking in the shade.

• Consider a cooling mat for a double-coated breed, or a cooling shirt. A wet t-shirt will work well too, but you need to keep wetting it.

• Frozen food-toys may be popular

• Observe speed of panting and shape of tongue - a long spoon-shaped tongue means your dog is working hard to get rid of heat 

Heatstroke in dogs can be quick, and deadly. So please take the precautions above to ensure your dog is protected.

Hothead

But you also need to consider how this heat is impacting his mental state.

I’d like you to take a quick detour and bone up on Spoon Theory. This explains so well how limited stores of energy have to be farmed and managed carefully. The same applies for our dogs with their limited store of tolerance. 

Before you even step out of the door on a hot day, your dog is stressed. He’s already used up a boatload of spoons and may be running critically low. This could apply to the calmer dog as well as the “reactive” or growly dog.

You know how quickly you can get annoyed when you're uncomfortable - especially if you're not used to the heat? Think of airport rows and road rage in hot traffic jams.

Lots of people will be out and about in holiday mode, with dogs who are only walked on high days and holydays, and everyone will be hot and bothered.

So seek out quieter walks, shaded walks - if you can find a place for your dog to swim, so much the better! - and cut out the ball-throwing till the worst of this heat is over. It will be over soon enough, and all us Britishers can go back to talking about the weather in disparaging terms! 

And if you live in a permanently hot place, you’ll have worked out your own ways of keeping your home cool, and strategies to get about outside without boiling. A reader from Texas told me that she can only take her dog out for 20’ at 5 am - after that it’s into the hundreds and impossible. 

 

Triggers, and spoons

Armed with this knowledge, you can now look at your dog in a different way. Hopefully a more understanding and tolerant way. He’s not being difficult - he’s struggling in circumstances he finds hard at the best of times, and may now be finding impossible.

In the greater scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter if your dog doesn’t go for a walk for several days - or even weeks. And contrary to what you may be thinking, you may be surprised to find that your normally hyper dog in fact gets calmer and more manageable, the less he’s walked!

Help him by managing his day carefully when outside influences are making it harder for him. He’s relying on you! 

 

Start the change with your reactive, anxious, aggressive - Growly - dog with our free Masterclass packed with ideas and strategies, all force-free

My dog wants to be everyone's friend! 5 Ways to make walks easier

Edited and reprinted from positively.com with permission. This post hit the spot with thousands of readers when first published, so I thought you might enjoy it.

I’ve come across a few instances lately of people actually being pulled off their feet - and in one case rendered unconscious! - when their dog saw another dog approaching and decided he either wanted to play with it, or to dive forwards barking to make it go away.

Whether this poor behaviour is from a fear reaction or an over-friendly one, the upshot is much the same. Broken noses are no fun. So, unsurprisingly, the treatment is also similar.

I have given you some techniques in It's Not the Dog, It's You to help specifically with fearful dogs. A lot of that information is useful for absolutely any dog, including those who don’t appear fearful. 

So, keeping those methods in mind, let’s focus here on the super-friendly, over-ebullient dog who is determined to have a party with every dog or person he sees.

Picture the scene: owner is happily walking along the road, with dog on lead. Dog spots another dog! Hallelujah! Dog stands up on hind legs squealing with excitement before plunging forward with shrieks and barks towards the other dog.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

It’s no use waiting till this is happening to try and change things. A knee-jerk response is not likely to do anything at all to help. Everything that needs to be changed has to be done beforehand, at home, in your kitchen, just you and your dog.

So let’s have a look now at what we can do to change this, before any more bones are broken.

1. What the Well-Dressed Dog is Wearing

If your dog is wearing a collar, then this is giving him terrific power to haul you along. Think where the collar goes on a horse in harness - right over the shoulders. Using the strongest part of a quadruped’s body - the rear legs and haunches - the horse or the dog can get great traction, to shift that heavy cart, or to pull you face down on the road.

When a dog is straining into a collar and tight lead, his body language is distorted. His eagerness can appear aggressive - this sends the wrong message to the object of his attentions.

The stress on the throat can also cause physical damage - and in the first place it'll serve only to wind your dog up more!

Pulling backwards against this power is fruitless. At best you’ll have an undignified retreat with you hauling your dog backwards, screaming. The dog will be screaming - but you may be too by this stage!

You need to teach your dog to respond to the lead, and turn of his own volition. Instead of a ten-ton block of frantic barking and scrabbling paws, you get a quizzical look from your dog as he turns and trots towards you. Really!

So the first move would be to investigate a no-pull harness. This is the one that I recommend.**  

One that attaches front and back will be the most effective. Good ones have an almost magical effect on even the most determined pullers. The harness needs to be comfortable to wear.

I would not use a headcollar for a “frustrated greeter” which is who we’re talking about here. If your dog is fighting to get the thing off his nose (most dogs hate them, unless slowly and carefully acclimatised) this is going to increase his level of frustration till he may possibly lash out (“redirect”) onto the nearest leg or hand. That would be your leg or hand. Ouch.

2. Loose Lead Walking, if taught well, is a trick

For your dog to walk close to you, keeping his nose level with your leg, he has to focus and concentrate. It’s not something that your dog will learn overnight - it runs counter to his natural desire to weave and run all over the place. 

The best force-free trainers make this exercise a game which the dog enjoys playing. Trying to frogmarch your dog along on a tight lead while yapping commands at him is not fun at all, for either of you!

The key is to have the lead loose, so that your dog can make a free choice where to walk. This may seem counter-intuitive to you, but it really does work very well when you’re in partnership with your dog as opposed to being his prison guard.

Once you have this skill, you can ask for this circus trick of trotting beside you, looking at you, when you need to distract your dog. If your history of rewarding him is great enough, he’ll be happy to oblige.

3. Impulse Control

We all have to learn impulse control. As children we have to learn to fit into society by containing our impulses and being able to wait patiently. This ability to delay gratification has been proven to be an indicator of a high achiever.

Your dog can be a high achiever too!

See Leave It! How to teach Amazing Impulse Control to your Brilliant Family Dog for a teaching method. Once he understands this skill, waiting politely should become his default behaviour - there’s no need to keep telling him to “leave it”.

And though the quickest way to teach this is with food, it isn’t just about leaving food. It’s about exercising self-control in the face of any temptation - bolting through the door, leaping out of the car, snatching something he wants ....

4. You Scratch My Back and I’ll Scratch Yours

If you do this for me, then I’ll do that for you, aka the Premack Principle. If, as a child, I demanded something I wanted, The Adult would say “What’s the magic word?” Asking for it again, but adding “please” this time, had the desired effect.

Your dog’s equivalent of the magic word can be a Sit, or Eye Contact, or just plain Silence! So when he starts agitating about something he wants, you can ask him “What do you think you should do now?” Wait for him to stop belly-aching and give you a sit, or look at you, or stop whingeing, then you can give him what he wants.

Don’t tell him what to do - let him work it out!

You probably already do this when you offer a treat - your dog may only get it if he sits. So extend it now - to everything your dog wants!

• Your dog pulls towards the verge: “You want to sniff that grass?” Wait for a polite response then you can say, “Go sniff!”

• He scrabbles at your knee: “You want to sit on my lap?” When he sits and gazes meaningfully at you, you can say “Hup!”

• He wails with excitement when he sees a friend: “You want to say hello to this person?” When he gives you his attention for a moment you can say, “Go say hi!”

Before long, seeing the person or dog in the street will be a cue to your dog to focus on you to ask for permission to greet. You may or may not give this permission, of course, but you can certainly reward his polite asking.

5. Distance is Your Friend

Never forget Distance! If he’s unable to stop squealing and diving, get further away and ask him again: “You want to say hello to that person?”

How much further away? 20 yards? 40 yards? 100 yards? Whatever it takes! When he’s able to focus and engage in rational conversation with you, then maybe - just maybe - he’ll be able to hold it all together while he gets closer to the object of his desire.

He can’t? Then he doesn’t get any closer.

Get Frustration out of the Picture

You can see that these five suggestions have a common thread: giving control back to your dog.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my days trying to control my dogs (or my children): I want them to control themselves!

Nothing is as frustrating as feeling you are a helpless victim who is not heard or heeded. 

Empowering your dog by giving him strategies to get what he wants leads to a happy co-existence which you can both enjoy.

 Have you got an over-friendly dog? A dog who struggles with impulse control and over-exuberance? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

 

 

 

 

Resources

** Harnesses: 
www.brilliantfamilydog.com/harnesses I supply the Wiggles Wags and Whiskers Freedom Harness in the UK. If you buy from me I will benefit, but you won’t pay any more!

2houndsdesign.com for the rest of the world.

Leave It! How to teach Amazing Impulse Control to your Brilliant Family Dog

Let’s Go! Enjoy Companionable Walks with your Brilliant Family Dog

It’s Not the Dog, It’s You!