12 Ways Your Dog Can Make You New Friends

You’ve retired, or just packed in work, or moved to a new area: your life has changed. In some ways so much better, but in others not so good: you just don’t get to see as many people these days. 

You’ve no interest in night clubs or bars, you’re not really that bothered about a “love interest”, and you’re shy of clubs and societies. But a few more friends to chat with about common interests would be nice. Trouble is, the less you see of people the harder it is when you do see them. 

But have you forgotten your dog?

Being out and about with your dog is a great way to start casual conversations with people who have at least one common interest. It’s a surefire way of filtering out all those who don’t like dogs: they won’t want to go near you!

And before you say, "But my dog's not friendly," you can still follow a number of these suggestions with success. You may find some very understanding new friends who have similar issues with their own dog - you can help each other to improve your dogs together!

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Let's find some new friends!

1. Lots of people love puppies. If you’re in the happy position of having a puppy you’re away! This fits in nicely with the fact that your puppy should be going out from the day you get him, to meet as many people as possible, and see lots of dogs and other things in our world. Need to know more about this? Check out this post. If your dog hasn’t seen puppyhood for a good while, you may get away with calling her “Puppy” and provoking some Oohs and Aahs. People who can see she’s actually 7 years old will just consider you a little eccentric - which is attractive to many people, so no loss there.

2. Visit the Vet’s. There are vets, vet nurses and vet techs, and other pet-owners in the waiting room. You don’t have to be suffering from Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome - your dog doesn’t have to be sick! You can drop in to fix up for wormers or vaccination boosters - or just ask to weigh your dog on the scales or check their displays of toys. Here's a post to enjoy a good vet visit with your dog.

3. Take your dog and a book or e-reader to the Cafe. As I love coffee shops this is one of my favourite dog outings. Teach your dog to switch off and be calm on a mat and you can take him and his mat everywhere, reliably, along with some chews and other such doggy entertainment. If you’re open to it, you’ll hear people’s life stories over your coffee.

4. Walk in popular places in town as well as the country. (Essential for puppies) This works very well if you have a pretty dog. Your dog isn’t pretty? How about some ribbons on her collar, or some sparkly stars on his lead, or a pretty jumper for the cold weather? Look friendly and hang around as if waiting for someone and people will approach your dog and you.

5. Perform tricks in popular places. Instead of wasting your time sunbathing on the beach, teach your dog some tricks there. These can be very simple, like “Give me a hug” - sitting with both paws on your leg, or “Say Hi” - waving a paw. You’ll get a genuinely appreciative audience. And the funny thing is that they’ll think your dog is so clever - they won’t twig that it’s you who was clever enough to teach him!

6. The dog park: if your dog comes reliably every time he’s called (hint: you can teach this!) people will admire you and want to talk to you to find out how it’s done. Walk in exciting new places. If you hit the trails with your dog in all weathers, you’ll find others who love the great outdoors - with or without dogs. 

7. Passing the local school on your walks. This is essential if you have a puppy - they have to get used to children shrieking and running. Your older dog needs to be child-friendly, of course. PC Warning: Gentlemen - take care! Probably only do this if you are a woman or have children with you. Meeting the local police is not on your agenda!

8. Dog classes: be sure to choose force-free classes that are dog-friendly. That may sound batty to you - looking for a dog-friendly dog training class - but sadly lots of classes are not in the least dog-friendly (and some of them aren’t people-friendly either!). So do some research first - if they don’t let you visit to watch, move on. There’s no need to treat your dog any differently than you would treat a three-year-old child, so there’s no room for nasty devices, shouting, intimidation, "dominance", being the pack leader, and other such nonsense. You’ll find other like-minded people there, who also love their dogs and don’t feel they have to boss them around to feel big themselves. 

9. Other dog walkers: you can fall into step with them for a few yards and see if you’d like to know them better. If you’ve gone through everyone who walks at your usual walk time, try another time or place and you’ll find a whole lot more people and dogs!

10. In the pet store. Nice outing for your dog to sniff all the toys and choose one, get up close to hamsters and budgerigars (as long as he’s not frightening them) and check out the cat toy section to find out what makes them tick.

11. The groomer, for fuzzy dog owners. Even better - the grooming class at your local education institute: lots of fellow students with similarly fuzzy dogs, and a cafeteria at break time where you can get to swap phone numbers for companionable fuzzy walks.

12. Take up a dog sport - there’s Dancing Dogs (hey, guys, some of the best-ever Dog Freestylers are men!), Cani-cross - cross-country running (or walking) with your dog, Rally, Skijoring, Agility, Flyball, Nosework and Tracking, Search and Rescue, Earth Dogs (tunnelling for terriers), Lure Coursing (for speed kings). Or you could help people in hospitals and institutions by training your dog as a Pets as Therapy (PAT) dog. Some of these activities are fiercely competitive, some just for fun, and some are a help to the community and will earn you great respect.

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Lost your car keys? Get your dog to find them for you!

You’ve sorted the lunch boxes, the kids are ready, the dog’s had a game, the breakfast table is sort of cleared. You’re rushing to get out of the house - and you’ve lost the car keys. Again. 

As my friend Susan - an always-busy farming mother - used to say, “It’d be easier to get out of Fort Knox with a bag of money on my back than to get out of this house on time!”

Instead of panicking and pulling the house apart, book by book, toy by toy, sock by sock, cursing the dog for being under your feet, why not employ said dog to help you?

We’ve all heard the astonishing stories of the power of dogs’ noses, searching for casualties in earthquake zones, detecting cancer on their owner’s skin, unearthing long-dead creatures to roll in …

So in this family of equal opportunities, let’s allow our dog to contribute her own special skills to solve the problem. She could find those keys for you in moments.

How could that possibly happen?

There’s a trick here, of course.

It’s not going to work if you yell at your dog in the midst of your rush and panic. You have to teach her first!

But it may surprise you how quickly she can learn to help you in this way.

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You can start by getting some kind of soft or fluffy key fob, about tennis ball size would be good, a small soft bear would work - or you could plait some fleece to make a longer soft “handle”, perhaps with a knot on the end. You can even scent it with a tiny drop of vanilla essence to enhance its powers. If your dog is very mouthy and chewy you will do well to buy or make two or three of the same keyfobs, in case one gets over-enthusiastically loved to death

You’ll also need some sensationally good treats - tiny cubes of cheese or hot dog usually hit the spot.

Now you can play a game with your dog with this new toy. Keep the sessions very short - maybe one or at most two minutes - and FUN! 

Here’s your ten-step program to a retrieving wizard

1. Start by producing the key fob and holding it out to her - not in her face, just out in front of you. The second she so much as glances at it, say YES with delight (this is a game, remember!) and give her a small yummy treat. Put the toy behind your back again.

2. Repeat this peek-a-boo game until your dog is very keen to engage with this new toy and get her reward every single time it appears in view. By now you should have bright eyes and a swishing tail.

3. Hold the toy out to her. She’ll look at it and expect her treat. WAIT for just a moment, maybe waggle the toy a little, till she touches it with her nose. YES! Reward! If she bats it with her paw instead, ignore that and hold it much higher up.

4. After a couple of nose touches, WAIT for her to put her teeth on the toy. Maybe she’ll just give it a lick, or just maybe she’ll open her mouth a little. She may worry that she’s not allowed to touch it, so encourage her wildly and make your YES joyful with a particularly scrummy treat. End of first session. Have a game with her with one of her own toys, and put yours safely away.
[You may need to break this down into three brief sessions. Don’t push it - just get fun and a little progress each time.]

Next session, you can start again showing her the toy and rewarding her. Very quickly you can move the game forward to where you left off last time, with your dog touching the toy with some part of her mouth.

5.  Using the same method, keep saying YES! and giving a tasty treat every time she touches the toy with her mouth. You can gradually encourage her to take the toy in her mouth, with you still holding on to it. End of second session.

6. You’re going to advance this game, making it ever so slightly harder and ever so slightly more like a full retrieve every two or three treats. In other words, take it slowly!

7. You can start to let go of the toy, let her hold it a moment, then take it back - “Thank you!”  It doesn't matter if she drops it. Graduate to holding the toy nearer to the floor for her to take; holding it on your knee, dropping it by your shoe.

Fast forward: within a few sessions you’ll have a dog who gets excited at the sight of your fluffy, scented, key-fob, and who will pick it up when you drop it on the floor and smartly give it back to you to swap for her treat. Work very quickly and she won’t even think of chomping on it.

8. Start tossing the toy further away always rewarding her instantly for giving it back to you. Now you can add your words: “Where are my keys?” every time you toss it. Always put the toy away again after each session.

9. Finally, play hunt-the-toy games. Let her watch you push it slightly under the corner of a rug, then send her for it - “Where are my keys?” Hide it under a cushion on the sofa and send her for it. Find new places to hide it, always making sure she has success and brings it straight back to you to swap for her treat. Keep this really simple - we only want success! We’re not testing our dog, guys.

10. Attach your keys to the fluffy fob. Now you can show her the toy and avert her eyes or leave her in a different room while you go and hide the toy in one of the places she’s found it before. Keep it easy! She’ll search all the old places till she finds it. 

Keep playing this game fairly regularly - don’t wait till you’re in full panic! You know the old saying, “Use it or lose it!” When you need her to find your keys you want this exciting game to be fresh in her mind. I frequently drop things on the floor (on purpose) and ask the nearest dog to “pick that up for me”. They love the opportunity to earn yet another reward!

Not only will your dog quickly learn this game of finding your keys without crunching them in her teeth - not good for electronic car keys! -  but you’ll be amazed how enjoyable it is teaching her. You’ll be watching the wheels go round in her head while she works out the new problem every time you move the goalposts. You’ll develop a new respect for your dog’s abilities. 

And she’ll love being a useful member of the family.

Now … what other things could your dog help you with?

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Want to turn your dog into a star retriever? Check Fetch it! Teach your Brilliant family Dog to catch fetch, retrieve, find and bring things back! and enjoy a new relationship with your dog.

Dog trainers and parents know the value of a playpen

Many parents will know the joys of being able to park their crawler in a playpen from time to time and know that they’ll stay safe.

Puppies need to be protected from many of the same dangers as babies. 

But there’s someone that needs to be protected from the puppy!  And that’s your older dog.

Your older dog didn’t choose to get a puppy - you did. 

His opinion hasn’t been asked. There he is, enjoying his peaceful home, when suddenly a ball of fluff and teeth arrives and he is expected to be an unpaid childminder.

Quite soon the pup is ruling the roost. Your faithful older dog is jumped on and chewed mercilessly whenever the pup is awake. If he tells the pup off he gets told off himself. He can’t win.

Don’t abandon your old friend!

Your first dog needs to know that he is still special and has his own life. And a great way to ensure this is by using the playpen.

When it’s time for the pup to wake up and emerge from her crate, you’ll be taking her to the garden, on her own. So once peeing is done, the dogs may like to have a quick game together. Interrupt it as soon as it starts getting rough (even after two minutes if necessary) and divert them to something else - a game with you, perhaps. 

Now is a good time for the pup to go into her playpen, with loads of things to chew and interact with (cardboard boxes, food toy, soft toys, plastic bottles, chews, bones …) while you get on with your work and Dog no.1 gets a break. 

And perhaps some personal time with you.

Not just dogs

The cat is safe from molestation as well, and I don’t have to shriek or grab the puppy to prevent disaster. 

You can zigzag it and divide a whole room, as I have in the puppy pictures on this page. 

I found this most useful - my puppy could be loose in the kitchen with me, the adult dogs could enjoy the freedom of going out to the garden or into the house and into the living room, and could see and interact with me. 

Oh, and if you pop the puppy into her pen when she’s still very young, she’ll never realise that jumping out is an option!

You can get great pet playpens cheaply. The one I use is tall enough to be stable if a taller pup stands up with her paws against it. It has a door. It can be any shape from a hexagon to a rectangle or more creative shapes to fit between or around your furniture. It can be used indoors and out. It doubles as a barrier at an open door.

My puppy playpen also does service as a “balcony” when we’re camping in the van, so I can have the doors wide open and know the dogs aren't going to fall off a cliff. 

Resistance

So it seems strange to me that some people should resist using a playpen for their pup. Some don’t want to spend the (small) money for something they think they’ll only use for a few months. But that is a false economy! It will save you so much bother and moaning at your puppy. Your relationship could be damaged, and for what? 

I’ve used my playpen extensively even though my youngest “pup” is now 4. It really has paid for itself over and over again.

Everyone happy! (Especially Squeak the Cat …)

Check out this article for more ideas on containment, with a free guide to download. 

 

Want to Know the Secret to Mobilising your Happy Hormone? (This may surprise you)

Is it going to the gym? (that’s a no from many people.)
Taking meds? (one pill can lead to another …)
Reading self-help books? (good stuff, but gives you a lot of work to do!)

No! it’s easier than all that.

It may surprise you to know that what has been proven to improve your life - your happiness, your health, and even your longevity - is sharing your life with a dog. 

Not only is a dog proven to bring many good health effects - a dog is fun!

Of course, those of us who have shared most of our lives with dogs know this already.

Some may think that’s all sentimental nonsense. But no - here are some facts about the effects of living with a dog. 

Dogs - free healthcare for their people  

    •    Touching your dog - stroking, patting, or cuddling - lowers blood pressure and cortisol (the stress hormone) and increases oxytocin and dopamine (the feel-good hormones). 1 (see references below)

    •    Dog-owners recover much faster from major illnesses, both mental and physical. 2

    •    Dog-ownership protects women in particular from depression. 3

    •    You’ll see less of your doctor and have fewer sick days. 4

Even insurance companies may ask if you have a pet if you’re over 75. Now they’re speaking through their wallet, so they are convinced! 

  •    And here’s the big one: Just gazing into those lovely brown eyes* measurably increases oxytocin (the happy hormone) in the owner. 5
* This works just as well for Weimaraners’ green eyes and merle dogs’ blue eyes ;-)

Active steps to improve your life

We are told that the six pillars of a brain-healthy, Alzheimer’s-prevention lifestyle are:

    Regular exercise
    Healthy diet
    Mental stimulation
    Quality sleep
    Stress management
    An active social life  6

You can’t argue with those at any stage of life for all-round health and self-esteem. 

And how many can your pet dog help you with?  

All of ‘em!

Doctor Dog strikes again

    •    Your dog will get you out and about regularly - from forest trails to the local shops, from dog classes to dog sports, he’ll get you moving as well as introducing you to new friends and acquaintances. Consider a class on scentwork, for instance, which will open up your mind as well as being heaven for your dog.

    •    While you’re paying attention to what you feed your dog for his best health (don’t be seduced by the bag with the prettiest dog picture) you can pay attention to your own diet too. Check out this excellent site to learn more about dog foods and UK readers head over to claim three weeks' free home-cooked food 

    •    All this fresh air and getting out and about will give you an appetite and encourage deep sleep.

    •    Nurturing gives people a purpose and value: giving your pet time gives you time.

    •    Putting someone other than yourself first will stop you slipping down the road towards self-absorption, loneliness, misery and blame. 

    •    When you’re worried, turn to your dog for a quick dose of mood-elevating hormone, by stroking her or simply gazing into her eyes.

    •    Dogs live in the present - when nothing is required of them, they sleep:  their example is worth a good few meditation classes. You needn’t dwell in the past, live now!

    •    And before you start worrying about the children in your home, it’s been proven that babies growing up with a dog in the family are less likely to develop asthma. 7

All of this is from your average pet dog at home. That’s before we even look at the dog’s astonishing abilities in cancer detection, seizure alerts, hearing for deaf people, easing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in veteran soldiers, and general assistance, to name but a few. 

By the way, you can teach your own dog to be your assistance dog! (Start by teaching her to bring her lead to you before a walk.)

But aren’t dogs difficult?

Dogs are straightforward - there is no hidden agenda. Contrary to what you may have seen on popular tv programmes, they have no wish to rule the world. They are not stubborn or self-willed. They value a warm bed and a full bowl and are keen to fit in with you.

Dogs respond best to reward-based interactions involving choice. What a simple and stress-free way to interact with anyone! There’s no need for you to become a drill sergeant, no need to have a battle of wills. You want this dog to lower your blood pressure, not elevate it!

Instead of barking, “Sit! Down! Stand on your head!” you can quietly say “What do you do when I pick up your lead?”  You’ll get the response you want (a sit, perhaps) and everyone is staying calm. 

For more understanding of Choice Training and how it can transform your life till it is bursting with happy hormones, read this post And here is a free starter email course about Choice Training

Treat your dog as you’d treat a young child in your family and just enjoy peace and harmony together.

And lots of gazing into those melting brown eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES

1. Vet J. 2003 May;165(3):296-301.
    Neurophysiological correlates of affiliative behaviour between humans and dogs.
    Odendaal JS1, Meintjes RA.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12672376

    J Behav Med. 1988 Oct;11(5):509-17.
    Cardiovascular effects of human-pet dog interactions.
    Vormbrock JK1, Grossberg JM.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3236382

2. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2854030/

3. Cline KM (2010). Psychological effects of dog ownership: role strain, role enhancement, and depression. J Soc Psychol. Mar-Apr;150(2):117-31.

4. Headey BW, Fu Na, Zheng R (2008). Pet Dogs Benefit Owners’ Health: A ‘Natural Experiment’ in China. Soc Indic Res. 87:481-493.
http://center4research.org/healthy-living-prevention/pets-and-health-the-impact-of-companion-animals

5. Horm Behav. 2009 Mar;55(3):434-41. doi: 10.1016/j.yhbeh.2008.12.002. Epub 2008     Dec 14.
    Dog's gaze at its owner increases owner's urinary oxytocin during social interaction.
    Nagasawa M1, Kikusui T, Onaka T, Ohta M.
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19124024

6.  http://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia/alzheimers-and-dementia-prevention.htm

7. http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=2467334

Make life easy for you and your dog!

“Why are you carrying that lump of a child the whole time?” the woman asked of my friend Jessica. “He must be two if he’s a day. Where’s his pushchair?”

Jessica blushed and struggled on, hoisting her well-built two-year-old son onto her hip. She didn’t want to have to answer this sensible question. She was exhausted carrying the wriggly heavy child for hours, but she was under the thumb of her partner, who had decreed that no child of his would be put in a pushchair, and that his mother had to carry him whenever he could not walk. Apart from wearing out his mother who had no free hands for anything else, this prevented the child from interacting with his world without parental pressure. It blocked the path of discovery, self-awareness, confidence. 

This madness extended to the home, where the boy was not allowed to sleep in a cot. 

The result? Midnight mayhem. Whenever he awoke, Basil would - naturally enough - slide out of bed and start wandering. Naps were impossible if Basil decided he wasn’t sleepy enough. Result: unrested and overtired child - and all parents freeze with apprehension at the thought of that!

It’s hard enough bringing up a toddler, without both hands being tied behind your back.

Most parents would consider these attitudes lunacy - the result of Jessica’s spouse’s bullying. 

So why do people do the exact same thing with their dog?!

I’m always surprised when I come across resistance to using a crate for a dog. 

Using a crate for a dog is just the same as using a cot for a child.

There’s no question of punishment. The crate is his bed, his own space; it has plenty of toys and chews in it; all meals are fed in it; stuffed food toys are given in it. It’s a haven where he’s safe from other dogs, cats, children, the world. All he has to do in it is r-e-l-a-x. 

Here you see Coco Poodle relaxing in his much-loved crate. It even has a handle for him to pull to open it when he wants to go in for a break. 

You should always know exactly where your dog is. If you ask him to go in his crate when you go out, you’ll know that when you come back you’ll be greeted by a smiling, stretching, cool, rested puppy, with no chewed cables or furniture, no upturned bin, and no pee on the floor. Your pleasure at seeing each other will be genuine and untrammelled by recrimination, bad temper, and frustration. 

Leaving him loose to entertain himself in the house instead of getting his valuable shut-eye, will make you bad-tempered and cross, and your puppy will have NO idea what he’s done wrong - just that you don’t like him and you may be dangerous. This is not the way to create an unbreakable bond with your dog!

So why would you resist this simple solution to so many aggravations?

Don’t labour on like Jessica did, making housetraining, chewing, and life in general much, much harder. Use the tools that are available to you, just as most parents do with their small children. 

More info on how to crate-train happily here

And have a look at just how I train my own puppies! in this small but perfectly formed mini-course

Where are my spoons? Why your dog runs out of calmness

It’s a puzzle to so many people. Their dog is easygoing and tranquil, and out of nowhere he snarks at another dog - or snaps at a child - or even growls at you! 

Maybe your dog is not so easygoing and you have just learned to live with these “random” outbursts. You never know when he’s going to be in a good humour, and when he’s going to have a meltdown.

But you CAN know! 

If you’re aware of what’s using up your dog’s patience stores, you’ll be able to manage him so that he doesn’t run out entirely, and be left with no way to go except have an outburst.

What you need to learn about is known as Trigger Stacking. And at the moment we have a huge extra trigger that many people simply aren’t aware of.

Heatwave!

In the UK at the moment we are enjoying (or suffering!) extreme weather. Weeks of temperatures in the high 70s and 80s (that's the high 20s in new money) - we’re not used to it at all!

So spare a thought for your dog, who has to wear his full fur coat regardless of the weather. 

You doubtless know all the commonsense advice for dogs and hot weather: 

• Ensure plenty of fresh water is available

• Brush out the winter coat as far as possible, and trim and shear hairy beasties

• Cut back on walks - maybe none at all for a few days, and certainly only at the cool ends of the day

• Limit access to the garden UNLESS you have a paddling pool to entertain your dog, or unless he has enough sense to find a shady spot and stay there

• Check temperature of the ground with your hand. Have you seen people doing the hoppy dance on a hot beach when they have no shoes on? 

• Don’t leave your dog in a car, even with the windows open, without taking measures to keep it cool. This will include covering all the windows, ensuring a through draught, running an aircon, and - of course - parking in the shade.

• Consider a cooling mat for a double-coated breed, or a cooling shirt. A wet t-shirt will work well too, but you need to keep wetting it.

• Frozen food-toys may be popular

• Observe speed of panting and shape of tongue - a long spoon-shaped tongue means your dog is working hard to get rid of heat 

Heatstroke in dogs can be quick, and deadly. So please take the precautions above to ensure your dog is protected.

Hothead

But you also need to consider how this heat is impacting his mental state.

I’d like you to take a quick detour and bone up on Spoon Theory. This explains so well how limited stores of energy have to be farmed and managed carefully. The same applies for our dogs with their limited store of tolerance. 

Before you even step out of the door on a hot day, your dog is stressed. He’s already used up a boatload of spoons and may be running critically low. This could apply to the calmer dog as well as the “reactive” or growly dog.

You know how quickly you can get annoyed when you're uncomfortable - especially if you're not used to the heat? Think of airport rows and road rage in hot traffic jams.

Lots of people will be out and about in holiday mode, with dogs who are only walked on high days and holydays, and everyone will be hot and bothered.

So seek out quieter walks, shaded walks - if you can find a place for your dog to swim, so much the better! - and cut out the ball-throwing till the worst of this heat is over. It will be over soon enough, and all us Britishers can go back to talking about the weather in disparaging terms! 

And if you live in a permanently hot place, you’ll have worked out your own ways of keeping your home cool, and strategies to get about outside without boiling. A reader from Texas told me that she can only take her dog out for 20’ at 5 am - after that it’s into the hundreds and impossible. 

 

Triggers, and spoons

Armed with this knowledge, you can now look at your dog in a different way. Hopefully a more understanding and tolerant way. He’s not being difficult - he’s struggling in circumstances he finds hard at the best of times, and may now be finding impossible.

In the greater scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter if your dog doesn’t go for a walk for several days - or even weeks. And contrary to what you may be thinking, you may be surprised to find that your normally hyper dog in fact gets calmer and more manageable, the less he’s walked!

Help him by managing his day carefully when outside influences are making it harder for him. He’s relying on you! 

 

Start the change with your reactive, anxious, aggressive - Growly - dog with our free Masterclass packed with ideas and strategies, all force-free