You get Dog 1.0 - the upgrades are up to you!

It always amazes me when readers write of their puzzlement that their new dog or puppy doesn’t seem to understand what’s wanted.

[Do keep your letters coming - here at Brilliant Family Dog we just love to help! And all queries are read and answered.]

🐾 Maybe they’ve been looking at a friend’s dog, who understands everything.

🐾 Or maybe they’re thinking of their last dog who they had for donkeys’ years, and they simply can’t remember all the teaching they had to do when he was new.

I can remember a new mother asking me when my children were young, “When do their teeth all arrive?”

My response: “I can’t remember, but they’ve got ‘em all now!”

We deal with what we need in the moment, then forget it.

Did you forget?

And maybe that’s what’s happened with your new dog? You’ve forgotten just how much time and attention your faithful old friend needed when he was brand new.

So … you’ll have to do the same with this one too 

An easy way to start your system upgrades :-) is to read any of our Brilliant Family Dog books that you’ll find here: www.brilliantfamilydog.com/books

Even easier? Watch our free Workshop and consider joining many other dog-owners in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy!

There’s a huge range of people and a huge range of dogs. Our oldest dog-student was 15, and our youngest 8 weeks. Our oldest human student is over 80, and we have plenty of people who involve their whole family - especially the children - in the training.

And you can get to meet all of them in our friendly private community!

Don’t soldier on alone! Things can get hard if you don’t know where to turn.

But with kind and compassionate help at hand, you never feel lost or alone on your journey with your precious pet.

Imagine … you can start applying those upgrades today!

 

How important is routine for your dog?

I want to show you a lovely letter I had from one of my readers. It’s much more typical of my inbox, and it nicely counterbalances the nastier missives I’ve had over the last two blog posts! (There were plenty of supportive comments and emails too, I hasten to add - and thank you for those!)

 

Hi Beverley

Having benefitted greatly from your books and posts when I was adopted by a Border Collie cross nearly two years ago, and more recently when I agreed to foster then adopt a dog which had been roaming in my area for over a week, I wondered whether other of your followers might be interested in reading a post giving your views on routine.

My first dog was apparently only about five months old when she came into my life and, not having owned a dog for over thirty years, I found her behaviour challenging at times, particularly in public. When we came out the other side after about a year and people complimented me on her good behaviour instead of telling me I wasn't fit to own a dog if I couldn't train her better, I realised that much of the improvement was due to her feeling secure in the knowledge that the things she enjoyed (food, cuddles, walks, games, play with other dogs, etc) would happen as a matter of course (she didn't need to pull on the lead, jump up, etc) and that, when they were over, it wouldn't be for ever - they would happen again.  

This response to routine was even more apparent with the new fella who the vet thinks is about three. He was, obviously completely disoriented when he came to live with us, but the routine of our lives settled him. In particular over food: at first, he tried to eat my other dog's food and then marked his or her bowl with urine. Now he understands that he will be fed regularly - where, when and what - he is calm, doesn't muscle in on her food and doesn't feel the need to mark. I believe routine has helped with his separation anxiety as well. He came to realise that part of routine of our lives is that I will be away from him for short periods, but again it won't be for ever - I will come back and we will carry on with our normal routine.

Looking back, I don't think I'd have had such a relatively easy time of it with my dogs if I hadn't been able to offer them the security of a routine. That's not to say we are regimented and ruled by a timetable, but there is a rhythm to our lives which just gets repeated each day. - AS

 

Thank you, AS, for your sound and practical advice. And well done for identifying such a simple thing that so greatly affected your dog’s wellbeing and behaviour.

I detail my own routine for my dogs in Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog, and here is an excerpt to show you:

How should our day go?

To give you an idea of how I manage my four - very, very different - dogs, this is an example of a day. There is no fixed schedule as my commitments vary throughout the week, but most of these things happen at some stage in the day.

 

• Rise, go out to garden, relieve themselves, and run about while I feed the hens

• Lie down in my bedroom or play with teddy bears while I dress

• Go outside again while I make coffee and feed the cat

• Each day a different dog comes for a solo roadwalk with me

• Lie down on their beds or quietly chew toys while I work

• Half an hour of very active games or training

• Rest while I have lunch

• Potter about with me while I do the washing, cleaning, and other chores

• Sleep while I go out to appointments - either in their crates in the van, or at home

• Highly active long dog walk with chasing, jumping, retrieving, and recall games

• Sleep till their supper time

• Potter, sleep, a few minutes training on and off, and so on

• Bedtime in their appointed sleeping places, where they stay till morning

• Training takes place a minute at a time at any time of day; garden visits every couple of hours; spontaneous active games any time

 

A carefully-considered sleep routine also means that my new puppies sleep through the night from the day they arrive at 7-8 weeks. You can find great detail on this in New Puppy! From New Puppy to Brilliant Family Dog

I agree!

So, in short, I agree wholeheartedly with what AS wrote. We often want to look for complicated reasons, “whywhywhy?”, and are ever keen to apportion blame.

But this reader shows us how the simplest of changes - totally non-intrusive changes - can deeply affect how your dog views his world.

For more ideas on how to make the most of your life with your dog, watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!



Do the ends justify the means for your dog?

My post Double standards for dog owners? last week provoked a lot of comment, on social media, some here, and in my inbox. Not surprising for a topic that polarises people.

But the apologists - who were vociferous in their sneering - seemed to overlook one principle. After saying all the nonsense about how these nasty gadgets don’t hurt ⚡️ 😵‍💫 they reckoned that the result justified whatever they did to get it.

The outcome from the use of punishment and punitive equipment is normally a shut-down dog - exhibiting the learned helplessness I referenced last week. Or it can result in far worse and unpredictable behaviour, when the dog’s tolerance is at an end, and the dog is destroyed.

Apart from the fact that both of these are horrible outcomes to inflict on any living creature, they are overlooking the fact that “the end justifies the means” is the cry that has been used by extremists of all kinds, down the centuries, to excuse oppression, torture, and wholesale slaughter.

It is not acceptable.

We, as civilised people, have moved forward in so many ways. Children are no longer beaten, women are not stoned to death, slavery is forbidden, corporal punishment in prisons and the services is no longer permitted.

And yet there are still plenty of people around who think it’s JUST FINE to do these things to animals.

It was no surprise to me to look at the social page of one of those who told me it was all perfect and hunky-dory, and see that they espouse extreme right-wing political views, especially on race and gun use.

It all fits.

Don’t put up with this!

If you believe we should treat animals as kindly as we would like to be treated ourselves, stand up and be counted!

The nonsensical claims from “The Dark Side” need to be countered. Commonsense needs to win the day.

 

Double standards for dog owners?

Here’s something to puzzle over. I had the unedifying experience of someone trying to explain to me that the use of pain-giving equipment on dogs was perfectly acceptable.

“I don’t use force, I only correct,” he said blithely, going on to explain how he used choke collars, prong collars and electric shock collars (which he calls ‘remote collars’ to make them sound ok):

“I make it a positive experience for the dog,” he went on, “It’s just a way of communicating with the animal that they understand.”

😱   😱   😱   🥵

 

Well - where to begin?!

There’s so much wrong here that it’s hard to know where to start.

What about this question: “How can pain ever be ‘a positive experience for the dog’?”

And how about this one: “Do you beat children too, and give them electric shocks?”

I did ask those questions - and they were, naturally, unanswered. I just got more flannel about how to “use correctly” these instruments of torture. And that “positive reinforcement makes dogs nervous”. 😮

 

My thoughts on this “way of communicating”

“It’s just a way of communicating with the animal that they understand,” he said.

Yes, I would understand if you stuck sharp metal things into my neck and exerted pressure.  

And yes, I would understand if you gave me an electric shock.

But what would I understand?

◆          I would understand that I was a victim.

◆          I would understand that apart from avoidance there was nothing I could do in the face of this barrage of pain.

◆          I would understand that you don’t like me, don’t understand me, and have no intention of learning about my feelings.

 

This all leads to learned helplessness, disengagement, and no learning beyond fear.

Is that how we want to live with another creature? A creature we’ve invited into our home to share our life? Is that how we treat our children, our work colleagues, our friends?

It’s true that in the very early days (long, long ago!) I tried choke chains, because that was the thing back then. But for the great majority of my life I’ve used nothing stronger than a soft collar, and usually only a properly-fitted harness.

I am happy to say that in all the many years I’ve been training dogs, I’ve never been bitten.

I’m proud of my dogs’ achievements, and even prouder of what my students have achieved. Dogs who were on the brink of being ‘rehomed’ are now loyal and much-loved companions.

“It was as if a light bulb had been turned on in my head.” - a happy client

What’s more, this way of treating the other creatures we live with spills over into better decisions at home and at work with them thar humans too!

Once you give someone - be it a child, a dog, or a spouse - a choice, you get willing engagement and active problem-solving.

And you can sleep at night.

 

Find out how to teach your dog without any need for punishment and nasty collars!

Here’s a FREE WORKSHOP to get you started.

 

 

 

 

Dog reactivity - what actually is it?


This post was first published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

 

Got a reactive dog? A fearful, anxious, or aggressive dog? A dog who barks and lunges at everything she sees? This is just for you!

My three books on Growly Dogs - Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - are full of strategies and techniques to help you with your difficult dog, and I thought I’d give you a chapter from Book 1: Why is my dog so growly? to get you started on the road to change.

 

Chapter 1: Reactivity - what is it

“What do we mean by this word “reactivity”? Basically, it means that your dog is reacting to his environment, but that instead of being able to assess the situation calmly, make good judgements, and move on, he’s stuck in “See dog: bark!”

You may think your dog is weird - that one moment he’s a happy dog inside the house, and as soon as you step outside he turns into a snarly monster. Imagine you’re enjoying tea and cake at a friend’s house. You’re happy and relaxed. Then your friend takes you to see his reptile collection (Oh no!! Exactly what makes your skin crawl!). In that room full of snakes and lizards, do you feel as comfortable as you were in the tea-and-cake room? And when he opens the cage and offers you one to hold ... that’s when you may panic and need to get out of the room.

Have you ever felt anxious and jittery for some reason? Worried about an interview, perhaps, or waiting for news from the hospital. Every bang or squeak makes you jump! Imagine living in that state all the time.

And at the bottom of this is usually FEAR. The reason your dog is making such a hullabaloo at the sight of another dog (or person, bike, jogger, car, plastic bag, you-name-it) is because she’s trying to keep it away from her. Putting on an Oscar-winning display of teeth, claws, and noise usually does the trick.

The other person or dog may think, “This is a nasty dog, I’m outa here,” or you - in your embarrassment and confusion - take the dog away, or dive into someone’s driveway till the other has passed. Either way, for your dog, the barking and lunging worked! The threat is no longer there!

Sometimes this response is totally misunderstood by the owner, who says, “He drags me towards every dog because he wants to play”.

In a later chapter we’ll be looking in detail at Dog Body Language. It’s possible you are not recognising some of the things your dog is telling you! It will be much clearer when you’ve learnt his sophisticated method of communication.

 

“Dogs do what works” 

I will be saying this over and over again. Your dog doesn’t have a secret agenda to terrify the neighbourhood; she has no wish to fight with every dog she sees. All she wants is for the thing that’s coming at her to go away. And she’s discovered that her fear reaction of barking and prancing often works. So that’s what she’ll keep doing.

Until ... we show her another way to get the same result! Without anxiety, distress, and disarray.

Your dog is not aggressive, nasty, vicious - any of the names that passers-by may give her. She’s just afraid.

If this comes as a surprise to you, have a look at other aspects of your dog - around the house for instance. Does she jump at loud bangs? Does she bark at visitors? Is she deeply suspicious of any new object in her environment, creeping up slowly to inspect it on tippy-toes with outstretched neck? Does she get distressed when she’s left alone? Is it hard to brush her, or trim her feet?

All these can also be indicators of an anxious dog who is more likely to react to strange dogs, people, or things, when out.

And keep in mind that your dog can be afraid of anything at all. While many reactive dogs are reactive to other dogs, there are plenty who are just fine with other dogs, but terrified of traffic, or tractors, or people, or children ...

 

But my dog’s friendly!   

Another reason some dogs become reactive is frustration. They may really want to meet every dog or person in the world and expect a good outcome. This may work when they’re off-lead and able to get away (more about that later on), but it may also come apart quite quickly when the other dog doesn’t welcome the intrusion, or is much bigger and bolder than your dog first thought.

Off-lead this can result in a panic response where your dog snaps and barks before running away. There is scope for this to go badly wrong, if the other dog joins in the fray. On-lead the frustration grows very quickly, as the dog does not have the freedom to do what he wants, and little impulse control to deal with these feelings. So he barks and lunges towards the other dog.

The symptoms are the same as for the fear-barker - though the underlying cause is slightly different. This dog’s actions are often misunderstood by his owner, who fears they have an aggressive dog.

The frustrated dog may have poor social skills, racing up to a strange dog and hurling himself in their face, or on top of them. Imagine someone doing that to you in the street: you’d have a thing or two to say, I’m sure!

He may be stuck in puppyhood, thinking that racing up to every dog is ok. This dog needs to learn manners, just as our children do. We wouldn’t accept behaviour from a teenager or adult that we’d accept from a three-year-old child. It would be most inappropriate. And yet many owners think it’s ok that their dog should jump up at every dog they see, just because they think he’s friendly.

 

Jekyll on-lead, hyde off-lead? 

I find a lot of people saying to me that their dog is only reactive on-lead, and that off-lead “he’s fine!”

I can only say that I’ve never seen a dog-reactive dog who is “fine” off-lead. 

A little study of dog body language will reveal a lot of signs of discomfort in this dog. The only advantage of being off-lead is that the dog can get away before things get out of hand. And because this is not possible when he’s on-lead, we get the “fight or flight” result: b-a-r-k-i-n-g.”

It’s hard to do this alone - but you don’t have to! You can choose to work directly with me and my team of highly-qualified trainers. Start with the free Masterclass for Growly Dogs here

 

To read more of this book, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-books where you’ll find all three books, available on Amazon in ebook and paperback - and a box-set of all of them at once!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you expecting too much of your dog?


I often hear from people who say,

 

“My dog nearly pulls me over on walks - he just won’t walk nicely”

  Or

“My puppy is 5 months old and STILL won’t pee outside! There’s mess all over the house.”

Or this one:

  “As soon as I let my dog off the lead he runs off. What can I do?”

 

Can you see a common thread to these cries for help?

You got it!

They’re all expecting the dog somehow - miraculously - to know what they expect of it. Wouldn’t that appear to be a teeny-tiny bit unreasonable?

We invite an animal of another species into our home, and expect it to know all the rules - automatically.

Why, we wouldn’t even expect a human guest to know that! To know which chair to sit in, how you behave at mealtimes, what subjects are taboo.

But somehow, our poor dog is expected to .. just know.

How to progress?

So how do we deal with those queries above?

 

Walking nicely on the lead

“My dog nearly pulls me over on walks - he just won’t walk nicely”

A thorough grounding in showing that you represent all good things, followed by a detailed program on how to walk nicely on lead is what’s wanted here. It’s not something that comes naturally to an eager young dog. And if the pulling is tolerated in a puppy (it often is), as the puppy becomes a full-grown dog, walks become a battleground, and the pulling has become a habit.

All habits can be broken - and this one is pretty easy to rectify, once you know how! You can start with our free Workshop on getting your Dog to LISTEN

 

Housetraining your puppy

“My puppy is 5 months old and STILL won’t pee outside! There’s mess all over the house.”

Now here is another confused dog. Think for a moment - how much work do you have to put into potty-training a child? Does it come overnight? Does the child know what to do? Does he just learn all by himself? Of course not! It requires patience and clarity.

So it is with your puppy. Puppies have a natural desire to keep the nest clean. And with a good breeder who has the right set-up you can see this happening from the age of about 3 weeks.

This is yet another reason to source your new companion carefully. There are FAR too many “greeders” who are just churning out puppies in their puppy farm or puppy mill with the least amount of care required just to keep them alive till they’ve got the money in their fat little hands.

So you need to have a reliable housetraining program from a good source. And hey! Isn’t it just amazing that you’re in the right place for just this! Here it is.

No more puddles! No more squabbles. No more frustration, for either of you.

 

My dog won’t come when called

And as for this one:

“As soon as I let my dog off the lead he runs off. What can I do?”

There’s a very quick and smart answer to that!

Don’t let your dog off lead till you’ve taught a stunning recall!

It’s obvious when you look at it coldly. How should the dog know that giving him his freedom means he has to pay attention to you unless you’ve already taught him?

Before you’re letting your dog run wild, he should already think the sun shines from your face, and want to be near you as much as possible. This doesn’t happen overnight - any more than for the other questions here. It’s a relationship you nurture slowly and carefully from the first day your new dog or puppy arrives with you.

It’s what it’s all about!

That companion you want, who will keep you company, be trustworthy and reliable, and be a credit to you: that takes time - and work! - to develop.

Here’s your shortcut to a stunning recall!

 

Where can I start with my new dog?

And for all these things, and a whole lot more you had no idea you could teach your dog, here’s a great place to start