CAN MY DOG BE STRESSED? - PART 3

This post was first published on positively.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Here is the third excerpt from my book - Building Confidence in your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - which points out an area which will be affecting your dog much more than you may imagine. You may want to read the first and second parts of this series first: Can My Dog Be Stressed? - Part 1 and Can My Dog Be Stressed? Part 2 

While you’re doing your best to improve the situation and you take a look at what may be making things worse, you cannot overlook stress.

• Stress causes reactions to be exaggerated

• Stress causes us to snap

• Stress wears us out

And here’s another area of your dog’s life that could be building stress that may surprise you.

3. Daycare or a dogwalker

A very perceptive reader sent me this query recently: “My question is, what do you think of daycare for dogs? Are the dogs actually happy about it, or do dog owners just like to imagine they are?”

Some dogs love daycare. And some people love holiday camps with group activities. I have to say that’s not my kind of holiday, and I would find it very hard to cope and not one bit enjoyable.

I am not going to tar all daycares and dogwalkers with the same brush. There are some excellent ones, with dedicated and knowledgeable owners and good staff education programs. But I will say that you'll have to do extensive research to find a convenient, local one that is truly a safe place for your anxious dog to learn and develop. 

Management skills

Think of the skills you need as a parent to prevent open warfare in your own household! Then picture a gang of dogs being thrown together for a walk - or all day in a confined area - in the care of people who may have no dog training or behaviour qualifications whatever. “I love dogs” may help, but it’s not a qualification. And given how long it takes us to learn how to care for our own species - and that a lot of what people think about dogs is wrong - you’re going to be lucky to find somewhere safe for your dog.

I was recently shown a promotional video for a daycare by someone who’s been sending her very reactive German Shepherd pup there for months. Even in this 30-second video - meant to show how wonderful the place was - I could see bullying and intimidation of this pup by other dogs, and no one going to her aid. Imagine what this sensitive puppy is subjected to for ten hours a day, five days a week! No wonder her reactivity is already extreme at only six months of age. What the owner thought as “being perfectly happy at daycare” was in fact a dog that spent all day trying to avoid the other dogs (quite impossible with those numbers of loose dogs) - shut down, in other words. Not fine at all.

For many dogs, daycare is viewed with the same suspicion I view that holiday camp!

Dogwalkers

If you have a good and responsible dogwalker, you are indeed fortunate! A dogwalker arrived at my regular walking spot recently. She opened her van doors and out flew five or six dogs. One planted his feet on my chest while the others hurtled around the roadside car park alarming other dogs before heading off on their walk. After 20 minutes she returned and drove away again. Would you be happy paying good money for that level of care every day?

My personal solution to an enforced absence from home is to have someone I trust to come in to let the dogs out in the garden and play with them for a while during the day. A “walk” is not needed.

If anything goes wrong in a daycare or with a dogwalker, you will be paying for that for years - possibly the rest of your dog’s life. You can spend time observing at a potential daycare. If they don’t like you quietly watching - move on. Think hard, and do a lot of homework, before handing your dog over.

Regardless of where you live, there will be fantastic, dedicated dogwalkers and daycare facilities that truly put the needs of the dogs in their care above all else. So seek out those above-and-beyond caretakers, and you and your dog will certainly reap the rewards!

Here are excerpt 1 and excerpt 2

Did you find this excerpt interesting? Here's what Book 3 looks like!

Or you can choose to get all three books at once, in paperback or ebook.

For a free e-course to help remove the stress from your life, and your dog’s life go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

How can I stop my dog’s aggression?

I frequently get this question. An owner gets in touch with me because their dog - who is wonderful at home with them and their family - behaves “aggressively” when seeing strange dogs or people. This could be when out and about, or with visitors to the home.

And the first thing I’ll ask them is what their dog is actually doing!

You see, I absolutely understand that when their dog appears aggressive, this brings up feelings in the owner of

• Confrontation

• Challenge

• Conflict

They fear their dog has turned nasty, and has to be restrained so that he can’t damage another dog or a person - with all the horrors that entails. Vets! 😢 Doctors!! 😳 Lawyers!!! 😱

So it’s natural that their dog’s actions should provoke a strong reaction in the owner!

But you need to look at what your dog is actually doing - something that you are labelling as “aggression” - when it’s most likely for another reason entirely.

Common reactions to something the dog sees can include

Growling

Backing off

Hiding

Grumbling

Staring

Moving forwards

Stiff body and legs

Hackles raised

Tail up

Barking

Lunging

Snapping

And people may think this will automatically lead to biting.

Well . . . in some cases it could. But normally, if whatever is upsetting the dog is removed - or the dog is removed from where he is upset - this is enough for everything to die down again.

So this is just aggression, right?

I can tell you that in most cases that I work with, the dog is not actually aggressive. What’s happening is that he is afraid.

Something has appeared that he can’t cope with, that he’s afraid will hurt him (it doesn’t matter if he’s right or wrong - this is his perception! It’s real enough to him!) so he fires out some warning shots in order to keep the dangerous thing away from him.

That’s why if you can keep the dangerous thing away from him in the first place, or remove him, he will have no need to take the law into his own hands and try to keep it away himself.

Compassion

So instead of trying to STOP what you perceive as aggression, look at it with compassion and work out what the cause of this usually noisy display is.

Instead of trying to stop this by yanking the lead, shouting, nagging, dragging your dog away, trying a new gadget to physically hurt him (I include the misuse of headcollars here, never mind real nasties like collars with spikes pressing into the neck, or any device using batteries), and all the other things I see people do - perhaps acting out of character because of their embarrassment . . . instead of focussing on STOPPING what you don’t like, look at how to teach what you DO like!

You’ll get some ideas of how to approach this mindset-shift in this article.

Understanding is half the battle. Once you’ve got the measure of WHY your dog is doing this, only then can you work out what you’d like him to do instead, then formulate a plan to teach him!

You see, dogs can’t exist in a vacuum. They can’t NOT do. Dogs are doers. So if you want to change what your dog is doing, you have to find him something else to do instead!

How?

Glad you asked!

Your first step is to watch our free Masterclass, and Learn the 3 Biggest Mistakes Growly Dog Owners make - and what to do instead!

You’ll find there some terrific strategies for making great changes with your Growly - reactive, anxious, shy, “aggressive” - Dog, changes which will last.

You can ask your personal questions in the chatbox, and start looking at a new way to work with your Growly Dog to effect a happy life for both of you.

You may not like your dog’s actions - but you can be sure that he doesn’t like them either! Let’s get started on changing them . . .

Start the change with your reactive, anxious, aggressive - Growly - dog with our free Masterclass packed with ideas and strategies, all force-free

Is life good for you and your dog?

Are you where you want to be in life?

Is everything going exactly as you would like?

It’s possible - that if you are dissatisfied with your life in general, you’ll also be dissatisfied with your dog.

They say that “How you do anything is how you do everything” - and this is so true! If you’re prepared to accept second-best in life, then you’ll probably be prepared to accept second-best in your life with your dog. Your dog doesn’t get a say in the matter!

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and learn a completely new approach!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

And nowhere is this more true than in your approach to problems. Many people see a problem, then accept it as a permanent and enduring truth - thinking it’s all someone else’s fault, or that they never get a break, or that they somehow don’t deserve to have this problem go away.

And the more you focus on the problem, the more that is exactly what you’ll get!

What you focus on is what you get!

One of the things that people find remarkable in my rather idiosyncratic method of dog training is that it’s more about training the owner than training the dog!

Once the owner changes how he sees his dog, and how to work with him - particularly using Choice Training - the dog miraculously transforms, becomes more biddable, more malleable, more responsive.

And a really important first step is to change how you see the world. 

Glass half empty?

If you’re a “glass half empty” type of person, you’ll always be looking for reasons something won’t work. Reasons why you can’t make it work. Reasons why whatever you do, life won’t change for the better. That the world is conspiring against you to keep you where you are.

With regard to your dog, you can find hundreds of reasons things can’t change. Reasons why you don’t have the time, the money, the resources. Reasons why it’s all the fault of your “stubborn” dog.

And as long as you hold those beliefs, you’re going to stay exactly where you are!

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. Wayne Dyer

Glass half full!

So let’s look at how you can start things improving right away! And let’s look at your life with your dog first.

Your dog is a sentient being. He has likes and dislikes, fears and fancies. Knowing what makes him tick will help you make the most of your time with your chosen companion.

Open yourself up to finding exactly what he likes. It can be food, or a certain type of treat; it can be a game of hide and seek, chase, playing with him with a favourite toy; going out in the garden, heading off for a hike; snuggling up with you on the sofa.

Because once you know exactly what he likes, you know exactly how to get the results you want! There’s no need to try to “control” your dog if you can actually control the things he likes. I believe it was Susan Garrett who coined the phrase - he who controls the rewards, controls the dog.

And it really is that simple. If you are able to produce a fitting reward every time your dog does something you like, you are going to become a magician in his eyes. He will do whatever he can to please you.

How will this help with pulling on the lead, running off, barking at other dogs?

Once you’ve taught him thoroughly how to walk nicely on lead or come when called - by catching him every time he does the smallest thing right and rewarding that choice - your relationship will develop to a level where he will trust you to know what’s right for him. He can even relax at the sight of another dog, because he knows you have his back.

And once you’ve got this going with your dog, how about looking at the rest of your life more kindly? How about seeing that changing things is up to you - you’re not a victim of capricious circumstance!

You can go to the ball, Cinderella! You can enjoy just as much of your life as you are open to enjoying. Switch your focus from “I can’t” to “Yes, I can!”

Want this kind of success for yourself? Here’s a FREE WORKSHOP to get you started!

Look how much these dog-owners’ lives improved!

I’ve been busy welcoming and “bedding in” the new students since the Workshop, and there are such lovely things being said that I thought I’d hand the stage to them today.

In their own words they will tell you just what membership of my programs and their communities means.

They say things that may resonate with you - especially when it comes to the camaraderie and support of the Communities, as well as the changes they’ve made through the program, which they had never imagined would be possible!

I get email queries daily from people struggling with their dog people at the end of their tether, people ready to give up their dog. And I can safely send them to join one of the Brilliant Family Dog programs, because I KNOW they can get the same results as these students below, however hopeless they may feel at the outset. (They do have to do a bit of work though! No magic wands available here …)

I am so glad I joined the Brilliant Family Dog Academy in addition to From Growly Dog to Confident Dog. I can’t begin to tell you all the changes that are beginning to happen as a result of the games we play. Charlie is no longer taking his behavioral supplement, he is not barking at vehicles that turn around in our driveway or trying to chase the mail truck, we can actually take walks using the walking belt, and he has stopped his barking at squirrels outside the window. The best part is I am beginning to learn what to do to manage the situations we may encounter. All of this in just  four months with your program. My dogs look forward to playing the games throughout the day and learning new things. Thank you for developing these courses. They are exceptional!

SB & Charlie, Academy and Growly Dog student

Paisley is a "growly" reactive dog: we are very excited about everything you have to offer! I have already learned some things from you that I have NEVER heard from any of the numerous trainers that we have been involved with. So - I am thinking there is still hope for us!

TC and Paisley, Academy student

Wow, our dogs are doing amazingly well, this training is causing miracles to happen! Never did I believe we’d get this far . . . 

CR and Lois, Academy and Growly Dog student

I certainly am looking forward to learning the choice way, it is so kind and gentle and I am feeling so comfortable with it and knowing I am doing the best I can to give Enya the time and space to make the right choices. I certainly think I have made the right choice choosing this training! Enya and I have a lot to learn, probably me more than Enya and already I am looking at things so differently, it’s a complete learning curve. Currently we are doing well with the first lessons and am learning so much by reading students’ posts in the Community. I cannot believe the amount of information there is on both courses and am finding it all invaluable and am so pleased I decided to do the courses.

CB and Enya, Academy student

I purchased the Academy program last year and didn’t regret it. The videos are brilliant.

AG and Dodger, Academy and Growly Dog student

Realising we aren't alone is a huge relief! Thank you Beverley, it's great knowing that you understand and are willing to pass on your knowledge to help so many owners struggling on a daily basis.

JB and Yogi, Academy and Growly Dog student

The turnaround in the last three days has been truly astonishing, the Beverley Magic is back! Right now I feel elated at how Beverley’s precision toolkit is opening up our lives! The structure of the games and the insistence on thinking beyond food as a reward have changed everything, as well as waiting EVERY TIME for Tay to make the choice, not tell him what I want.

JD and Tay,  Academy and Growly Dog student

You cannot know how helpful it is to me, having the interaction, communication, and connection that you can’t get from just reading.

CZ and Winston, Growly Dog student

 Beverley, we will continue on our amazing journey, I am so pleased you are a part of it. Feel proud of what you do, it is invaluable and really does make this world a better place, especially for the canines who live alongside us.

SM and Henna, Growly Dog student

The good news is that I can see that Rumpole and I have made loads of progress since starting this programme - we are both more confident (very rarely hear a low growl these days from either of us), lead walking is good, recall excellent, we are good friends (very good), Rumpole is more confident around other dogs off lead and can hold back or have a quick hello then move on, he can walk through a field of sheep (on lead) and not react and this morning did not bat an eyelid at a couple of horse riders who passed us.

JS and Rumpole, Growly Dog student

Just wanted to share how chuffed I'm feeling with Ginny. This past week she has walked past/near several dogs without a bark even though a couple barked at her. She has also said hello to some. This evening she walked across the road from 3 dogs being walked together and a couple of minutes later a deer ran across the road - she stared but didn't bark. A few months ago she would have been frenetic with all of this!! I never thought it would be possible - I’m so glad I didn't give up. The learning and structure of the Course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

AT and Ginny Growly Dog student

Thank you Beverley - your Communities are just fantastic, you have set the whole tone for support, friendly advice, constructive comments, a much-appreciated touch of humour, encouragement, keeping up enthusiasm . . . and more. It's a pleasure to be part of it, to dip in and out as life goes on and always to feel welcome.

JL and Boyo, Academy and Growly Dog student

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!

A Workshop full of dogs and puppies!

Well, I’m (almost) lost for words! We had thousands and thousands of people who joined our Workshop for a Brilliant Family Dog!

And those who followed closely and put in the work got spectacular results!

• They developed a new relationship with their dog in just seven days!

• They changed a lifetime of doing the wrong things and got a different dog in just a week!

I’m not very good at blowing my own trumpet, so I’ll let them blow theirs!

Well what a week it has been, think I’ve fallen in love with Max all over again!! Living in a busy house he’d become just someone else I had to sort out. With the games I’ve remembered what a wonderful boy he is. Even taught the family and they are getting much better at responding to him in a more positive way. He’s definitely calmer. Still need to work on the noise levels and craziness when people arrive home.. but I now have faith we’ll get there. Thank you Beverley Courtney and team. AJ

I want to thank you for changing our mindset (not the dog’s). CD

Already, after last week's Workshop there is so much improvement and we now have some calm. For the first time since we got Ted we have been able to settle him with a chew and relax for a couple of hours in the evening. He is more relaxed and resting more during the day too and comes up for cuddles now which he never did before.  After working with two behaviourists and attending 3 training courses where I felt humiliated and a complete failure I have spent the last week feeling supported. CH

I was beginning to regret having a puppy and felt so frustrated and stressed that mine was going to be that puppy/dog that was out of control all the time! Thank you so much Beverley and team for this brilliant workshop I can now correct all my mistakes and see what a very clever little man in Stanley I have. We have come so far in just a week. SS

Beverley does this in her own precious time completely FREE. Her love of animals is obvious and to share her wisdom and proven techniques just shows what a truly wonderful and gifted person she is. TA

Aww, that’s enough! My mission is to improve life for dogs. And to do that I have to reach their owners. I am so happy that I have done just this!

You can learn about the Brilliant Family Dog Academy here, in our free Workshop, which is packed with lessons you can put into practice straight away!

What is the Academy? It’s the natural next step for you, when you’ve found out how well what I taught you in the Workshop works!

In the Academy we take you by the hand and paw, and lead you through a carefully-structured plan to teach your dog - finally! - all the things you need for a happy life with your pet.

You’ll see everything on this page here

And the great thing is you get support all the way! I and my team are there encouraging, teaching, answering questions . . . you’re not left alone to sink or swim.

I care about your success.

Brilliant Family Dog - leading the way for reactive dogs

You’re here because you’re looking for answers for your reactive, anxious, aggressive, hyper - Growly! - dog, am I right?

✅ You are in absolutely THE RIGHT PLACE for authentic help. For force-free help. For help in making lasting change.

❌ You’re in THE WRONG PLACE if you’re looking for a quick fix, if you think that your dog is to blame, if you think a gadget or medical intervention will solve everything, without you having to bother.

I need this in a hurry!

These days we are all in a hurry all the time! We want everything now, or better yet - yesterday. And we don’t want to have to work for it! “Just drop it in my lap, please,” we are taught to expect.

It comes as a genuine shock to some folk that their life will not change by “fixing what’s wrong with the dog”.

That’s why it’s no use handing your problem dog over to a trainer to do the work for you! It’s what’s happening in your home, between you and your dog, that needs fixing. It’s not the dog - it’s both of you!

Want to get the support and learning you need? Get our free e-course here and get started!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

People are forever asking me,  

• “How do I stop my dog doing xyz?”

• “How can I control my dog?”

• “What’s the quickest way to get my dog to …. ?”

• And the perplexing “Why doesn’t my dog know …. ?”

“Errr, because you haven’t taught him?” would be the quick answer to that last one!

But this all presupposes that there’s some recipe to follow, which the questioner just hasn’t found yet.

People come to my Workshops expecting to be told, “Do this, then do that, and your dog will comply.” But they find that I don’t do that!

Instead they are asked searching questions about their relationship with their dog, and discover that changing their life with their dog requires them to change what they’re doing with their dog, AND who they’re being with their dog.

Of course, some say, “Where are the instructions? How can I fix my dog-problems if you don’t give me the answers?” And they leave, looking for someone else to do the work for them.

Those who stay, who tussle with those difficult questions, are the ones who actually transform their lives with their once-difficult dog. Now, I’m not saying their dog is now perfect! Any more than my dogs are perfect, or I’m perfect!

What I’m saying is that these enlightened owners come to a higher level of understanding which means they can enjoy a new life with their dog whether or not their dog changes. (But they usually do change, dramatically.)

Change will come - but in its own time

Elle told me - in fact she told everyone in our private supportive Community of Growlies - that she had reached a whole new level of understanding with her dog.

I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled.  

Bella still has some issues, but the difference is that I understand her issues, and I know what to do to help her and to make things manageable.

Elle had the all-too-common experience of trying various trainers, some of whom made the dog worse, and some who had no clue what to do so they just said “Your dog is untrainable. She’ll never change.”

Perhaps this is what’s happened for you?

So along with many others - maybe you - she was “desperate” when she found me.

Now Elle didn’t just ask for a recipe, and POOF! dog transformed. (Oh that it were so easy!)

No.

She read what I wrote, and she listened to what I said. She acted on it. When things didn’t immediately improve, she persisted. She took her dog’s reactions as information rather than evidence of failure. She worked with that information, and … gradually, very gradually … she reached the stage of calm and acceptance that removes friction and enhances - LOVE.

And it’s not only Elle who has enjoyed this transformation! I am thrilled to get emails every single day from people who have quietly followed what I’ve suggested to them and found it works!

Alexia told us,

I never thought it would be possible - but after 18 months of determination - it's paying off. I'm so glad I didn't give up - although several times have felt like it. The learning and structure of the course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

Emma started a huge thread of praise and thanks in our amazing Community with this thought of hers:

I thought how kind it was that people give so much of their time to this group to help people. So I wanted to thank Beverley for starting this Community and for being so responsive to our questions and concerns. And thank you for the effort that goes into it.

Dawn said “I agree!” She told us she’s so happy there’s a place where she can go to talk with other people who know exactly what it's like living with a growly dog. Then Judy added,

Yes me too. I can't thank Beverley Courtney and this group enough. Your support is priceless x

Support is critically important!

So you can see from this that having a safe place where you can talk about your dog problems (and where it affects this relationship, your own problems too) is SO important in getting the change you desire with your dog!

It’s not about finding methods, techniques, tricks, games . . . (though those will be given to you and are useful). It’s about finding out how to change the way you look at things so you can make the change you so fervently desire!

And yes - it takes work.

More importantly, it takes commitment. Flipping all over the internet in the hope of finding the one last game or pill that will transform your dog for ever . . . is futile! It’s destined for failure.

It really is about understanding just what’s going on, and getting the support you need to change it!

Want to know what you can do?

Head over to this page and add yourself to our waiting list. There’s something brewing that anyone with a reactive dog will NOT want to miss! And Waitlist peeps will get first dibs . . .

Go and put your name down right away and drum your fingers for a week or so till all is revealed. [If your dog likes it, drum your fingers up and down his back when he’s relaxing with you - lots of nice squirming from your dog, and laughter from you!]

Want to get the support and learning you need? Get our free e-course here and get started!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy