See how calm your dog is?

Look at your dog.

Is he worrying about rampant viruses? Or is he just contentedly being a dog? Is he getting anxious about what just may happen in the future, or is he happy with where he is right now?

We can learn from our pets. For a start we can enjoy their world-view and consequent feelings of normality and continuity.

And we can observe that worrying about things changes nothing!

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Security and safety

We all need a sense of security (as Maslow defined in his Hierarchy of Needs), and the panic and fears being whipped up by some parts of the media and social media are counter-productive!

Continually being in an anxious state lowers your immunity and maintains damaging stress.

Choose one or maybe two news sources that you trust, and check them just once a day. You do not need minute-by-minute reports and all the speculation and catastrophising that goes with them.

When you are talking, ask yourself “Am I making the situation better or worse?” 

We all need a sense of belonging, and isolation measures can make us feel alone and vulnerable.

Self-sufficiency

I’m no epidemiologist, but I have seen isolation work. When the UK slaughtered millions of farm animals in the last Foot and Mouth outbreak, Ireland was barely touched. Because it is largely a rural economy, there was a united effort from the whole country - instantly - to comply with the sweeping measures brought in to prevent the spread of the disease. The result was that only a couple of flocks in one area were affected. Ireland escaped Foot and Mouth virtually unscathed.

Once we have our safety and belonging needs sorted - by reframing them as virtues not calamities - we can look to being the best version of ourselves.

We manifest into our lives the things we most desire and the things we most fear. (This is physics, not woo-woo - ask Einstein …) Where is your focus?

These things will pass! Do what is recommended by your authorities, look at the upside of isolation (there’s always an upside to everything!)

.. and enjoy some quality time with your soothing, carefree, dog.

Your dog is not so soothing and carefree?
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My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

I am sitting in the window of our local busy coffee shop, in a comfortable armchair, my coffee on the table beside me. Just inside the full-length window, by my feet, lies Lacy on her mat.

We can both relax after our morning outing - me in my armchair, she on her mat watching the world go by without barking at it.

She’s polished off the liver sausage foodtoy I prepared for her. She’s done a couple of tricks for a fingertip of cream from my coffee. She’s watched comings and goings and is now dozing on the mat, her chin resting on my foot.

She’s popular with the staff who are always pleased to see her. It’s a pleasant way for both of us to unwind after our morning’s work.

You may think this is all fairly unremarkable, but you should know that Lacy started out as a very reactive dog - she would get stressed and barky and appear ferocious at any approach, of dogs or people.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

So getting her to genuinely relax in a public place is an achievement of which I am proud and which we can both enjoy. A lot of what I teach here at Brilliant Family Dog is geared to growing your puppy’s or dog’s confidence and ability to relax. You can train all the sits in the world, but it’s no good if your dog is panting and gasping and pinging off the walls!

Horses for courses

Many dogs are sufficiently “wired” that they need help to learn this skill - especially with the growing popularity of placing working dogs in pet homes. This is a kind of square-peg/round-hole combo which needs careful management to succeed and not drive everyone - owner and dog - barmy.

Lacy has also gone through all the training I do in my premium programs - naturally, it’s one of the perks of being the boss’s dog! And the results have been as spectacular for her as for so many of my students. “I can’t believe how much our life has changed,” is a common cry after even the first Growly Dog lesson.

An awful lot of this has to do with how we act ourselves, and with our expectations: What you expect, you get! Gaining insight into why your dog does what she does is the way to make changes to accommodate her needs with minimum disruption to your daily life. And that’s the focus of the choice-based training I teach.

It’s a question of growing your confidence so you know what to do in any situation. Being able to settle your dog in a public place and flip her off-switch is a valuable skill.

Here’s a great way to get started with this skill

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog - in ebook, paperback, or audiobook - will help you to locate this hidden switch!

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Brilliant Family Dog - leading the way for reactive dogs

You’re here because you’re looking for answers for your reactive, anxious, aggressive, hyper - Growly! - dog, am I right?

✅ You are in absolutely THE RIGHT PLACE for authentic help. For force-free help. For help in making lasting change.

❌ You’re in THE WRONG PLACE if you’re looking for a quick fix, if you think that your dog is to blame, if you think a gadget or medical intervention will solve everything, without you having to bother.

I need this in a hurry!

These days we are all in a hurry all the time! We want everything now, or better yet - yesterday. And we don’t want to have to work for it! “Just drop it in my lap, please,” we are taught to expect.

It comes as a genuine shock to some folk that their life will not change by “fixing what’s wrong with the dog”.

That’s why it’s no use handing your problem dog over to a trainer to do the work for you! It’s what’s happening in your home, between you and your dog, that needs fixing. It’s not the dog - it’s both of you!

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People are forever asking me,  

• “How do I stop my dog doing xyz?”

• “How can I control my dog?”

• “What’s the quickest way to get my dog to …. ?”

• And the perplexing “Why doesn’t my dog know …. ?”

“Errr, because you haven’t taught him?” would be the quick answer to that last one!

But this all presupposes that there’s some recipe to follow, which the questioner just hasn’t found yet.

People come to my Workshops expecting to be told, “Do this, then do that, and your dog will comply.” But they find that I don’t do that!

Instead they are asked searching questions about their relationship with their dog, and discover that changing their life with their dog requires them to change what they’re doing with their dog, AND who they’re being with their dog.

Of course, some say, “Where are the instructions? How can I fix my dog-problems if you don’t give me the answers?” And they leave, looking for someone else to do the work for them.

Those who stay, who tussle with those difficult questions, are the ones who actually transform their lives with their once-difficult dog. Now, I’m not saying their dog is now perfect! Any more than my dogs are perfect, or I’m perfect!

What I’m saying is that these enlightened owners come to a higher level of understanding which means they can enjoy a new life with their dog whether or not their dog changes. (But they usually do change, dramatically.)

Change will come - but in its own time

Elle told me - in fact she told everyone in our private supportive Community of Growlies - that she had reached a whole new level of understanding with her dog.

I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled.  

Bella still has some issues, but the difference is that I understand her issues, and I know what to do to help her and to make things manageable.

Elle had the all-too-common experience of trying various trainers, some of whom made the dog worse, and some who had no clue what to do so they just said “Your dog is untrainable. She’ll never change.”

Perhaps this is what’s happened for you?

So along with many others - maybe you - she was “desperate” when she found me.

Now Elle didn’t just ask for a recipe, and POOF! dog transformed. (Oh that it were so easy!)

No.

She read what I wrote, and she listened to what I said. She acted on it. When things didn’t immediately improve, she persisted. She took her dog’s reactions as information rather than evidence of failure. She worked with that information, and … gradually, very gradually … she reached the stage of calm and acceptance that removes friction and enhances - LOVE.

And it’s not only Elle who has enjoyed this transformation! I am thrilled to get emails every single day from people who have quietly followed what I’ve suggested to them and found it works!

Alexia told us,

I never thought it would be possible - but after 18 months of determination - it's paying off. I'm so glad I didn't give up - although several times have felt like it. The learning and structure of the course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

Emma started a huge thread of praise and thanks in our amazing Community with this thought of hers:

I thought how kind it was that people give so much of their time to this group to help people. So I wanted to thank Beverley for starting this Community and for being so responsive to our questions and concerns. And thank you for the effort that goes into it.

Dawn said “I agree!” She told us she’s so happy there’s a place where she can go to talk with other people who know exactly what it's like living with a growly dog. Then Judy added,

Yes me too. I can't thank Beverley Courtney and this group enough. Your support is priceless x

Support is critically important!

So you can see from this that having a safe place where you can talk about your dog problems (and where it affects this relationship, your own problems too) is SO important in getting the change you desire with your dog!

It’s not about finding methods, techniques, tricks, games . . . (though those will be given to you and are useful). It’s about finding out how to change the way you look at things so you can make the change you so fervently desire!

And yes - it takes work.

More importantly, it takes commitment. Flipping all over the internet in the hope of finding the one last game or pill that will transform your dog for ever . . . is futile! It’s destined for failure.

It really is about understanding just what’s going on, and getting the support you need to change it!

Want to know what you can do?

Head over to this page and add yourself to our waiting list. There’s something brewing that anyone with a reactive dog will NOT want to miss! And Waitlist peeps will get first dibs . . .

Go and put your name down right away and drum your fingers for a week or so till all is revealed. [If your dog likes it, drum your fingers up and down his back when he’s relaxing with you - lots of nice squirming from your dog, and laughter from you!]

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My dog knows he's done wrong

No he doesn’t!

He has no idea!

All he knows is that you are cross and he has not got a clue why!

So he runs through a series of appeasing behaviours to show that he’s no threat. This may include lowered head, looking away, lowered body posture, creeping, slinking away, screwing up his eyes and grinning, licking his lips, yawning, walking in slow motion silently, licking you, jumping on you, nudging you, burying his head in you. A young puppy can even lose bladder or bowel control in his distress.

All the while you are wagging your finger, shouting or yelling - or worse (as anyone who had a vicious headmistress like I did will know!) going very, very, still and quiet and saying “What. Do. You. Think. You’re. Doing?”

He doesn’t know. Really. He’s a dog.

Dog Body Language

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Dogs express themselves largely through their body language. While most people see nothing - just a dog - it’s in fact a sophisticated language which is very clear, once you learn it.

As a dog-owner it’s your duty to learn Dog Body Language!

You wouldn’t adopt a child from another country and refuse to listen to anything she said until she could express herself fluently in your language. It’s such nonsense when you look at it like that!

So know that you have to observe your dog, look out for every ear-twitch, every sideways glance - what’s his head doing? what’s his movement telling me?

There are some good resources online for learning these movements. Here’s a good one from the amazing artist Lili Chin, of the Body Language of Fear in Dogs

Do you recognise some of these from your own dog? Start looking! You’ll see them all, in time …

So why does he look so “guilty”?

All this is telling you that telling your dog off and assuming that because he slinks or cowers or looks away, he understands what you’re on about, is mistaken! (That’s polite-speak for WRONG!)

Dogs don’t “look guilty”, or “know they’ve done wrong”. Something a few correspondents have been trying to tell me this week.

Those awful videos that get circulated online - of dogs “looking guilty” - are horrible. Anyone who actually understands dogs knows that the dog is deeply unhappy and distressed by the hostility her owner is demonstrating. Having no idea of the cause, all she can do is grovel. Setting these situations up and videoing them is cruelty, no less.

What can you do instead when something you don’t like has happened?

The first thing to do is to look at why the thing happened. And very often you’ll find the finger is pointing at … yourself!

◆   Who left the dog alone with the kitchen waste bin?

◆   Who left the door open so that your curious dog went out through it?

◆   Who failed to follow a force-free housetraining program and now has a confused dog who doesn’t know where to relieve herself?

◆   Who left valuable yet chewable items within reach of a puppy who has as yet no boundaries?

So if you come home to find a mess, just clear it up quietly, while resolving to change your own habits so that it can’t happen again.

Our dogs have it hard enough living in our strange world without being told off for breaking rules they didn’t know existed! If you follow this path, you’ll have a hard time ever gaining her trust.

My dog knows when he's done wrong

My dog doesn’t need a muzzle

Oh yes. He does!

All dogs need to be familiar with a muzzle and accept it without demur. There are lots of reasons for this - safety round other dogs, keeping other dog-owners away, scavenging and picking up stones and slugs, for treatment at the vets - the list goes on.

I think a lot of the antipathy to muzzles is because of some wrong thinking. People think that if a dog is muzzled it is dangerous. In fact, it’s the safest dog around! His armoury is all behind closed doors.

But people seldom think this through. That doesn’t matter when we’re talking about other people. But when we’re talking about you, the owner, it does matter!

Why do owners resist teaching their dog to wear a muzzle, and why should they anyway?

I go into detail on this subject in my post at https://www.brilliantfamilydog.com/blog/should-my-dog-wear-a-muzzle

So here I want to focus on the most depressing thing I see.

Ex-racing Greyhounds

I know personally of two gruesome cases where unmuzzled ex-racing greyhounds attacked a small pet dog. In one case a beloved puppy was ripped to pieces in front of his family. In the other case a small dog was almost pulled apart by two unmuzzled ex-racers but rescued by brave passers-by. It took many months of care from her vet and her distraught owner for her physical wounds to heal, and her PTSD-type memories are still needing work, years later.

It’s fashionable for people to adopt ex-racing greyhounds. These dogs are usually spent by about 3-5 years of age (if successful) and earlier if they were not winning.

Sighthounds are naturally quiet and biddable most of the time. They can make great pets in the home. They like to sleep 23 hours a day,  wake up for a bit of food then go back to sleep.

But you have to remember:

These dogs are killing machines

Now before you throw up your hands in horror and stuff my inbox with complaints, think about what they have experienced all their lives. They have been trained to chase down anything small, fluffy, or fast-moving, and kill it. That’s what they’re bred for, and that’s what they are encouraged to do.

They are muzzled from an early age, usually with comfortable, light, racing muzzles that allow them to pant freely and drink.

In some countries, greyhounds must be kept on lead at all times in public, and the number of greyhounds led at a time is limited. In some countries also, greyhounds need to be muzzled at all times.

To be fair, some of the greyhound adoption agencies recommend that at least to start with your ex-racer should be muzzled in public, though it’s not the law in most of the UK (Northern Ireland excepted - where all sighthounds must be muzzled in public). It’s so easy, because it’s what they’re used to!

Your newly-adopted ex-racing greyhound is an unknown quantity to you. You need to take precautions for many months before you know whether you have one of the lazy ones who couldn’t be bothered to chase anything, or one whose switch can be flipped in a second, triggering a chase that no dog or cat can escape.

The owner of the greyhounds in one of the instances I mentioned above had only had her two dogs for a couple of weeks. She had NO idea how dangerous they were, singly, and together. The adoption agency had not told her anything about the dangers, only that these were gentle pets. This nonsensical approach caused the horrible incident where the new elderly owner watched - screaming helplessly -  while her two new dogs attempted to pull the small dog apart.

She was traumatised by the event, paid the victim dog owner’s vet bills, and returned the dogs immediately to the adoption agency.

Unnecessary suffering

These horrors were totally unnecessary!

• If the adoption people had faced the truth and told it to the new owners;

• If the new owners had had the sense they were born with and took steps to take the firing pin out of their dangerous weapons;

• If an inexperienced elderly lady had not taken on two large dogs trained to kill;

• And if owners of small dogs were aware of the danger;

all this may not have happened.

Small-dog owners need to take care

My smallest dog is fluffy and fast. So whenever I see ex-racing greyhounds on my travels, Coco Poodle is either close to my feet on lead, or I pick him up, to remove the instinctive visual chase response from the hounds.

And before you all sharpen your quills and dip them into poison ink, I declare that I have a sighthound too. She was never raced, but her chasing instincts are strong. See the power in her leap! But yes, she does sleep most of the time!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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It’s ok to punish a dog to get what we want

It’s not all that long ago that children were sent up chimneys to clean them, and young children are still being used as slave labour.

These children are seen as possessions. Things to use and abuse as their “owners” see fit.

But in civilised countries we just don’t think that any more! Hooray!

Another thing that’s changed is our approach to animals. More and more countries are building animal protection into their law books. For wild animals, farm animals, and for our pets.

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But there’s one place where people have a blind spot

And that’s aversive equipment.

Equipment designed to inflict pain.

You can save as many whales as you like, but if you still think it’s ok to put an electric shock collar on a dog (or force a 5-year-old child to work in a factory), you’re barking up the wrong tree!

I understand why you may think that shock collars, prong collars, choke chains and the like are ok to use on your dog. There are a lot of people - some of them calling themselves “dog trainers” - who are heavily invested in using these instruments of torture.

Why? The answer is simple but shocking.

Because they don’t know any better.

The only way they know to get results is by punishing the animal in their care. Whether the dog understands why it’s being punished doesn’t seem to cross their mind.

The fallout of using pain and intimidation to get quick results is a closed book to them. They don’t even bother to look at what happens later.

Using inhumane equipment to reach their ends is making them inhuman.

You wouldn’t want to be a part of that, would you?

The science of getting the results you want in animal training, without lifting a finger to harm the dog, or even ever saying NO, has been proven for almost a hundred years.

We are so behind!  

What’s good?

The good news is that more and more countries are changing their laws and BANNING these awful devices. I’m fortunate to live in one of those countries that has seen the light. **

Tell me, would you punish a child for doing something you don’t like?

Or would you rather TEACH him how to do what you DO like?

Would you give your child an electric shock if he didn’t answer you immediately?

The very thought sends shivers down my spine.

And I get those same shivers when I see that people are brainwashed into thinking it’s actually ok to administer pain to an animal.

The fact (and that’s proven scientifically) is that “training” done via methods of punishment does not last. And has many side-effects that make everything worse.

The child who’s punished for stealing a biscuit is not going to know why it’s wrong to steal. He’s just going to make sure he doesn’t get caught in the future!

The dog who’s punished for being afraid of something is now going to be afraid of his owner as well. His first fear is now superseded by the more immediate fear of the person holding the lead, or the electric transmitter. (They actually call it a “controller”. I rest my case.)

Rhyme and reason go out the window.

In both cases, you’re just teaching avoidant behaviour, not resolving the issue.

The future is bright!

Do you want to learn a way to actually communicate with your dog, and - miracle! - get HER to make good decisions without you even having to tell her?

The way forward is open for you to choose to do things with your dog and stop doing things to your dog.

It's ok to hurt a dog to get what we want

** Countries that have banned electric shock collars now include:

• England

• Scotland

• Wales

• Denmark

• Norway

• Sweden

• Austria

• Switzerland

• Slovenia

• Germany

• Canada

• Australia

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