My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

I am sitting in the window of our local busy coffee shop, in a comfortable armchair, my coffee on the table beside me. Just inside the full-length window, by my feet, lies Lacy on her mat.

We can both relax after our morning outing - me in my armchair, she on her mat watching the world go by without barking at it.

She’s polished off the liver sausage foodtoy I prepared for her. She’s done a couple of tricks for a fingertip of cream from my coffee. She’s watched comings and goings and is now dozing on the mat, her chin resting on my foot.

She’s popular with the staff who are always pleased to see her. It’s a pleasant way for both of us to unwind after our morning’s work.

You may think this is all fairly unremarkable, but you should know that Lacy started out as a very reactive dog - she would get stressed and barky and appear ferocious at any approach, of dogs or people.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

So getting her to genuinely relax in a public place is an achievement of which I am proud and which we can both enjoy. A lot of what I teach here at Brilliant Family Dog is geared to growing your puppy’s or dog’s confidence and ability to relax. You can train all the sits in the world, but it’s no good if your dog is panting and gasping and pinging off the walls!

Horses for courses

Many dogs are sufficiently “wired” that they need help to learn this skill - especially with the growing popularity of placing working dogs in pet homes. This is a kind of square-peg/round-hole combo which needs careful management to succeed and not drive everyone - owner and dog - barmy.

Lacy has also gone through all the training I do in my premium programs - naturally, it’s one of the perks of being the boss’s dog! And the results have been as spectacular for her as for so many of my students. “I can’t believe how much our life has changed,” is a common cry after even the first Growly Dog lesson.

An awful lot of this has to do with how we act ourselves, and with our expectations: What you expect, you get! Gaining insight into why your dog does what she does is the way to make changes to accommodate her needs with minimum disruption to your daily life. And that’s the focus of the choice-based training I teach.

It’s a question of growing your confidence so you know what to do in any situation. Being able to settle your dog in a public place and flip her off-switch is a valuable skill.

Here’s a great way to get started with this skill

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog - in ebook, paperback, or audiobook - will help you to locate this hidden switch!

Don’t go without our free e-course to change life with your Growly Dog!

Get your first Growly Lesson!

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Is life good for you and your dog?

Are you where you want to be in life?

Is everything going exactly as you would like?

It’s possible - that if you are dissatisfied with your life in general, you’ll also be dissatisfied with your dog.

They say that “How you do anything is how you do everything” - and this is so true! If you’re prepared to accept second-best in life, then you’ll probably be prepared to accept second-best in your life with your dog. Your dog doesn’t get a say in the matter!

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and learn a completely new approach!

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And nowhere is this more true than in your approach to problems. Many people see a problem, then accept it as a permanent and enduring truth - thinking it’s all someone else’s fault, or that they never get a break, or that they somehow don’t deserve to have this problem go away.

And the more you focus on the problem, the more that is exactly what you’ll get!

What you focus on is what you get!

One of the things that people find remarkable in my rather idiosyncratic method of dog training is that it’s more about training the owner than training the dog!

Once the owner changes how he sees his dog, and how to work with him - particularly using Choice Training - the dog miraculously transforms, becomes more biddable, more malleable, more responsive.

And a really important first step is to change how you see the world. 

Glass half empty?

If you’re a “glass half empty” type of person, you’ll always be looking for reasons something won’t work. Reasons why you can’t make it work. Reasons why whatever you do, life won’t change for the better. That the world is conspiring against you to keep you where you are.

With regard to your dog, you can find hundreds of reasons things can’t change. Reasons why you don’t have the time, the money, the resources. Reasons why it’s all the fault of your “stubborn” dog.

And as long as you hold those beliefs, you’re going to stay exactly where you are!

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. Wayne Dyer

Glass half full!

So let’s look at how you can start things improving right away! And let’s look at your life with your dog first.

Your dog is a sentient being. He has likes and dislikes, fears and fancies. Knowing what makes him tick will help you make the most of your time with your chosen companion.

Open yourself up to finding exactly what he likes. It can be food, or a certain type of treat; it can be a game of hide and seek, chase, playing with him with a favourite toy; going out in the garden, heading off for a hike; snuggling up with you on the sofa.

Because once you know exactly what he likes, you know exactly how to get the results you want! There’s no need to try to “control” your dog if you can actually control the things he likes. I believe it was Susan Garrett who coined the phrase - he who controls the rewards, controls the dog.

And it really is that simple. If you are able to produce a fitting reward every time your dog does something you like, you are going to become a magician in his eyes. He will do whatever he can to please you.

How will this help with pulling on the lead, running off, barking at other dogs?

Once you’ve taught him thoroughly how to walk nicely on lead or come when called - by catching him every time he does the smallest thing right and rewarding that choice - your relationship will develop to a level where he will trust you to know what’s right for him. He can even relax at the sight of another dog, because he knows you have his back.

And once you’ve got this going with your dog, how about looking at the rest of your life more kindly? How about seeing that changing things is up to you - you’re not a victim of capricious circumstance!

You can go to the ball, Cinderella! You can enjoy just as much of your life as you are open to enjoying. Switch your focus from “I can’t” to “Yes, I can!”

Want this kind of success for yourself? Here’s a FREE WORKSHOP to get you started!

Look how much these dog-owners’ lives improved!

I’ve been busy welcoming and “bedding in” the new students since the Workshop, and there are such lovely things being said that I thought I’d hand the stage to them today.

In their own words they will tell you just what membership of my programs and their communities means.

They say things that may resonate with you - especially when it comes to the camaraderie and support of the Communities, as well as the changes they’ve made through the program, which they had never imagined would be possible!

I get email queries daily from people struggling with their dog people at the end of their tether, people ready to give up their dog. And I can safely send them to join one of the Brilliant Family Dog programs, because I KNOW they can get the same results as these students below, however hopeless they may feel at the outset. (They do have to do a bit of work though! No magic wands available here …)

I am so glad I joined the Brilliant Family Dog Academy in addition to From Growly Dog to Confident Dog. I can’t begin to tell you all the changes that are beginning to happen as a result of the games we play. Charlie is no longer taking his behavioral supplement, he is not barking at vehicles that turn around in our driveway or trying to chase the mail truck, we can actually take walks using the walking belt, and he has stopped his barking at squirrels outside the window. The best part is I am beginning to learn what to do to manage the situations we may encounter. All of this in just  four months with your program. My dogs look forward to playing the games throughout the day and learning new things. Thank you for developing these courses. They are exceptional!

SB & Charlie, Academy and Growly Dog student

Paisley is a "growly" reactive dog: we are very excited about everything you have to offer! I have already learned some things from you that I have NEVER heard from any of the numerous trainers that we have been involved with. So - I am thinking there is still hope for us!

TC and Paisley, Academy student

Wow, our dogs are doing amazingly well, this training is causing miracles to happen! Never did I believe we’d get this far . . . 

CR and Lois, Academy and Growly Dog student

I certainly am looking forward to learning the choice way, it is so kind and gentle and I am feeling so comfortable with it and knowing I am doing the best I can to give Enya the time and space to make the right choices. I certainly think I have made the right choice choosing this training! Enya and I have a lot to learn, probably me more than Enya and already I am looking at things so differently, it’s a complete learning curve. Currently we are doing well with the first lessons and am learning so much by reading students’ posts in the Community. I cannot believe the amount of information there is on both courses and am finding it all invaluable and am so pleased I decided to do the courses.

CB and Enya, Academy student

I purchased the Academy program last year and didn’t regret it. The videos are brilliant.

AG and Dodger, Academy and Growly Dog student

Realising we aren't alone is a huge relief! Thank you Beverley, it's great knowing that you understand and are willing to pass on your knowledge to help so many owners struggling on a daily basis.

JB and Yogi, Academy and Growly Dog student

The turnaround in the last three days has been truly astonishing, the Beverley Magic is back! Right now I feel elated at how Beverley’s precision toolkit is opening up our lives! The structure of the games and the insistence on thinking beyond food as a reward have changed everything, as well as waiting EVERY TIME for Tay to make the choice, not tell him what I want.

JD and Tay,  Academy and Growly Dog student

You cannot know how helpful it is to me, having the interaction, communication, and connection that you can’t get from just reading.

CZ and Winston, Growly Dog student

 Beverley, we will continue on our amazing journey, I am so pleased you are a part of it. Feel proud of what you do, it is invaluable and really does make this world a better place, especially for the canines who live alongside us.

SM and Henna, Growly Dog student

The good news is that I can see that Rumpole and I have made loads of progress since starting this programme - we are both more confident (very rarely hear a low growl these days from either of us), lead walking is good, recall excellent, we are good friends (very good), Rumpole is more confident around other dogs off lead and can hold back or have a quick hello then move on, he can walk through a field of sheep (on lead) and not react and this morning did not bat an eyelid at a couple of horse riders who passed us.

JS and Rumpole, Growly Dog student

Just wanted to share how chuffed I'm feeling with Ginny. This past week she has walked past/near several dogs without a bark even though a couple barked at her. She has also said hello to some. This evening she walked across the road from 3 dogs being walked together and a couple of minutes later a deer ran across the road - she stared but didn't bark. A few months ago she would have been frenetic with all of this!! I never thought it would be possible - I’m so glad I didn't give up. The learning and structure of the Course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

AT and Ginny Growly Dog student

Thank you Beverley - your Communities are just fantastic, you have set the whole tone for support, friendly advice, constructive comments, a much-appreciated touch of humour, encouragement, keeping up enthusiasm . . . and more. It's a pleasure to be part of it, to dip in and out as life goes on and always to feel welcome.

JL and Boyo, Academy and Growly Dog student

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!

I’m right, so my dog is wrong

“I want x. My dog wants y. Therefore my dog is wrong.”

Stubborn, headstrong, wilful, disobedient, difficult, challenging, pain in the ****, you name it - the dog gets called it.

And it all adds up to WRONG.

But hang on a minute! Who made these rules? That if you want x, x is therefore right, and your dog should comply.

Just because you want something, does this make it the right thing to do? Does it make you right?

Look at it from your dog’s point of view

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

Get your first Lesson!

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You may be asking him to do something that seems straightforward to you. But your dog is not doing it. Why?

• Maybe he didn’t hear you

• Maybe he heard you but didn’t understand

• Maybe you haven’t yet taught him

• Maybe he’d love to do it but is unable to do so at the moment

• Maybe he doesn’t think it’s worth doing

What we need to do is look at your dog and run through these questions to find out why he’s not obliging. Only then can we see a way forward to change.

Let’s take a look

The first three reasons are fairly self-explanatory. And in no case is your dog wrong.

The last two bear closer scrutiny.

“He’d love to do it but is unable to do so at the moment.”

He’d love to sit when you ask, but there’s someone at the door who has to be seen off, or greeted ecstatically (depending on your dog). What you have here is a lack of training round what you want your dog to do at the door. It’s not about not-sitting! This links back to the third reason - you haven’t taught him yet.

He’d love to do what you ask, but there’s a dog over there staring at him. This is either terrifying him or exciting him (depending on your dog) and he cannot possibly focus on what you’re saying. Teaching him how to manage other dogs in the vicinity will give him a “recipe” to follow. Back to the third reason again!

He’d love to sit when you ask, but he’s a sighthound with an almost bare bottom, and the ground is cold and muddy. The best you’ll get is a bit of shuffling and a grudging stoop. Why spoil your nice snappy sit for the sake of being right?

“Maybe he doesn’t think it’s worth doing”

And here we get to the nitty-gritty.

If someone asks you to do something, you need to have a reason to want to do it.

• Maybe it’s your work and you get paid to do it

• Maybe it’s someone you love who you want to help

• Maybe it’s going to benefit you too

You need a reason!

And so does your dog.

If you expect blind obedience with nothing in it for your dog, the response you want is going to be given more and more grudgingly, less and less accurately, with less enthusiasm, less willingness, less FUN!

There will be endless conflict, endless battles of will, endless frustration.

Why not discard notions of right and wrong, and look instead at building a strong and loving relationship with your dog?

A relationship which has you understanding his needs and desires better, and has him happy to fit in with your reasonable requests, which he understands, has learnt, and is able to do - with pleasure?

As Viktor Frankl, a man who refused to be broken, said,

Between stimulus and response there’s a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Dogs don’t arrive with us with all the operating software installed. We get Dog 1.0. It’s up to us to do all the teaching and shaping to get the companion we want, and perhaps the companion we visualised when we first decided to invite a dog into our home.

It’s all about learning! We learn, and our dog learns. We’re not keeping score! It’s not Owner 10, Dog nil.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Wayne Dyer

A happy partnership will change your expectations (which will be totally unreasonable if you’ve been watching those ghastly tv programs about dogs being wrong). It will give you a far better way to interact with your chosen pet. It will end those senseless battles of will and frustration.

And it will make life so much easier!

Start out with our free e-course here:

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

Get your first Lesson!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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And let me know how you get on!

A Workshop full of dogs and puppies!

Well, I’m (almost) lost for words! We had thousands and thousands of people who joined our Workshop for a Brilliant Family Dog!

And those who followed closely and put in the work got spectacular results!

• They developed a new relationship with their dog in just seven days!

• They changed a lifetime of doing the wrong things and got a different dog in just a week!

I’m not very good at blowing my own trumpet, so I’ll let them blow theirs!

Well what a week it has been, think I’ve fallen in love with Max all over again!! Living in a busy house he’d become just someone else I had to sort out. With the games I’ve remembered what a wonderful boy he is. Even taught the family and they are getting much better at responding to him in a more positive way. He’s definitely calmer. Still need to work on the noise levels and craziness when people arrive home.. but I now have faith we’ll get there. Thank you Beverley Courtney and team. AJ

I want to thank you for changing our mindset (not the dog’s). CD

Already, after last week's Workshop there is so much improvement and we now have some calm. For the first time since we got Ted we have been able to settle him with a chew and relax for a couple of hours in the evening. He is more relaxed and resting more during the day too and comes up for cuddles now which he never did before.  After working with two behaviourists and attending 3 training courses where I felt humiliated and a complete failure I have spent the last week feeling supported. CH

I was beginning to regret having a puppy and felt so frustrated and stressed that mine was going to be that puppy/dog that was out of control all the time! Thank you so much Beverley and team for this brilliant workshop I can now correct all my mistakes and see what a very clever little man in Stanley I have. We have come so far in just a week. SS

Beverley does this in her own precious time completely FREE. Her love of animals is obvious and to share her wisdom and proven techniques just shows what a truly wonderful and gifted person she is. TA

Aww, that’s enough! My mission is to improve life for dogs. And to do that I have to reach their owners. I am so happy that I have done just this!

You can learn about the Brilliant Family Dog Academy here, in our free Workshop, which is packed with lessons you can put into practice straight away!

What is the Academy? It’s the natural next step for you, when you’ve found out how well what I taught you in the Workshop works!

In the Academy we take you by the hand and paw, and lead you through a carefully-structured plan to teach your dog - finally! - all the things you need for a happy life with your pet.

You’ll see everything on this page here

And the great thing is you get support all the way! I and my team are there encouraging, teaching, answering questions . . . you’re not left alone to sink or swim.

I care about your success.

“My dog doesn’t listen to me!”

I did a quick survey amongst my readers recently.

I asked them:

“When you think of improving your life with your dog, what is the one thing that would make all the difference to you?”

And who knew?

The overwhelming majority of people said something along the lines of

“Listening to me”

“That she responds to me”

“If he started listening”

or just plain “Obedience”.

This was interesting, though perhaps not surprising.

For listening is the basis of any relationship!

With your spouse, your friends, your children - if none of them ever listened, this would not make for a rewarding relationship. Tempers would fray. Happiness would not be evident!

But what makes someone listen to you?

Everyone listens to the same radio station: WIIfm - “What’s in it for me?” If whenever they listen to you they get

a) no response from you, or

b) an earful

they’re not going to be too keen on listening the next time you utter.

So what can you do to make yourself more interesting to your dog? Without bribing, begging, cajoling, or pleading?

Watch our free Workshop and learn how to communicate effectively with your dog or your new puppy, right from the start!

Yep, it’s another of our hugely popular Workshops, coming up this very week. A way to start not just the New Year, but the New Decade, the way you would like to continue.

So far several thousand people have enjoyed these Workshops - and those who pay attention and do the work get fantastic results!

Here are a few comments from folk in previous Workshops:

Did two sessions already and his recalls outside improved. This is going to be a fabulous week!! Thank you so much! Veronica

“Getting very inspired and Ida is beside herself with joy. This course really works and not just for a week.” Diana

Thank you, Beverley Courtney, for a great learning experience this week. It has helped me realize how much my own attitude and tension influence my dog. You have given us skills, techniques and understanding in such a simple and clear way. Annabel

“So proud of how my little dog is progressing, thanks to what we are learning from Beverley, would never have thought it possible, but we’re steadily getting there!” Carol

You put the tools in front of us and give us the confidence to experiment! I so appreciate your clarity! Jud

“So, after day 3 I'm starting to think I've had a Brilliant Dog all along!” Jennifer

One of the best things I have done, the Workshop taught me so much. Karen

We’re putting the finishing touches to the Workshop now, to make sure you have a great experience, enjoy meeting a host of new friends who know just how you feel, and to ensure you get the results you want: A dog who listens!

And how can you get started? Have a look at this post and get started straight away.

We’ll be going into this in much more detail in the Live Trainings . . . Be sure to be there!