Harness your dog's imagination!

Here at Brilliant Family Dog we hear so often about the woeful things dogs have got up to.

It’s all about the dreadful things they’ve dreamed up and the bad things they’ve done. They’ve chewed things up, they’ve managed to escape, they’ve re-arranged your flowerbeds …

Perversely, I’m pleased to hear these stories.

Why?

Because it shows that the dog is exercising his imagination!

In the absence of being given interesting things to do, he’s making up his own entertainment.

This shows that he is resourceful, enterprising, thoughtful, and eminently teachable!

What can I teach him to do instead?

Let’s have a look at a really simple, basic, but highly amusing “toy”: a cardboard box. Get one big enough for your dog to clamber into - at least get his front paws in. Check it over for sharp staples.

Now let’s see what he can do with it! Some of this will need your input, some you can happily let your dog discover.

• front paws in

• front paws on

• all paws in

• all paws on

• whole body in (box collapsed yet?)

• find hidden toys in it

• find toy amongst masses of screwed-up paper

• find toy amongst loads of empty plastic bottles, or smaller boxes

• hide food in cardboard tubes or small boxes - to be found and shredded

• put toy in

• take toy out

• hide a toy in a smaller box

• put smaller box into large box

• crawl through a cut-out “door”

• teach scent by hiding something in one of many boxes

• push it

• curl up in it

• drag it

• chew it up . . .

For your older, bored, dog, this is going to be heaven!

For your young puppy it’s an essential stage of getting her used to strange surfaces, wobbly things, things that slip and slide, noisy things, crunchy things, rattly things. I call this Puppy Gym and it’s a vital part of my puppy classes and the Brilliant Family Dog Academy

Some older dogs, especially those who’ve been used to being told what to do, will be perplexed by this box. You’ll need to spice it up a bit to pique their interest - perhaps toss a few treats in to get them interacting with it.  

And please don’t worry about mess! Mess is a by-product of living, and this is going to be a controlled mess, of your choosing.

Isn’t that far better than the mess you find when your bored dog entertains himself by chewing your computer cables, or loving your slippers to death?

Let me know in the comments how you got on with this possibly new game!

And for more fun for your dog, get our free email course here

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I can’t leave any food anywhere - my dog will steal it!

First published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

We expect visitors - even quite young children - to leave our food alone. If we put a plate of cakes on the table, we don’t assume that our guest will grab the plate and wolf them all down! We expect them to wait politely till they are offered a cake - and then to take just the one.

We teach children this polite behaviour pretty early on. So why do we expect the opposite from dogs?

Why do we assume that they’ll steal anything that’s not nailed down, then say, “Ah well, it’s only a dog. What can you expect?”

I can tell you that I expect a lot: and what’s more, I get it!

What you expect is what you’ll get

Just think how life will improve when you can leave food on the kitchen counter, cake on the coffee table, shopping bags on the floor … I’ve even known people who have to shut the dog away when they’re eating or he’ll intercept the forkful of food on its way to their mouth!

And what about your favourite pair of shoes gnawed and chomped, the flower beds scattered over the lawn, your expensive phone now defunct? All this hooliganism, mayhem, and destruction can be changed to peace and harmony (cue birdsong).

Children and dogs alike

Plenty of us would struggle to leave this plate of doughnuts alone - but Cricket is managing it very well, without being told. Illustration from "Leave It!"

I once heard a new father say - somewhat wistfully - “I suppose we’ll have to put away anything we value now …”

“Not at all!” said his mother, “You just teach Emily to leave those things alone.”

And that’s exactly what you need to do with your dog: teach him.

He arrives on this planet an opportunist raider, a scavenger. Anything edible is clearly for him. He won’t learn what he can have by being bellowed at when he makes a wrong choice! In fact, this is a sure method for encouraging your puppy to steal.

Why?

Because every time he takes something you don’t want him to have, he gets a guaranteed performance of singing, shouting, squawking, dancing, and the greatest game of the lot - Chase!

Pretty soon you’ve taught your dog exactly how to get excitement and action. Sadly, this is precisely what you do not want.

So you need to embark on a program of explaining to him what he may have - and that will bring him a reward - and what he may not have, which will result in no reward. And here “no reward” includes no singing, shouting, or dancing, and especially no chasing.

Coco poodle is only 16 weeks old in this photo, yet he already knows that food at nose level is not for him. I left my lunch on the stool, saw his response and went to find my phone to take a picture of this happy scene. It was not a set-up, in other words. I hadn’t told him to do or not do anything.

It’s just a snapshot of everyday life in a household of four dogs, none of whom will steal my food. Or anything else I don’t want them to have.

The best way to start this is by just showing your dog that you have good food in your hand, then closing your fingers over it so he can’t snatch it. He’ll now go through a sequence of sniffing, licking, nibbling, pawing, your hand. Stay still! And wait. Eventually he’ll stop for just a moment, and pull back from your hand. Only when he can stay away from your hand do you give him one of your tasty treats.

From this foundation you build up very gradually and consistently, till your dog becomes an expert at this and knows straight away when something is for him, and when it’s not. This will include a dropped box of chocolates, the Sunday roast slipping out of the pan onto the floor, a dropped bottle of pills, the children’s toys, something long-dead in a field. And your shoes.

You can always add a vocal cue, like “Leave it”, later on. And that can be useful in some situations - perhaps when your young dog is curious about something he’s seen on the street but that you know is dangerous. But I like to make this a default behaviour which needs no cue. You don’t need to remind your guest not to pinch the cakes!

By the way, for English readers, here’s a load of money off a super food I regularly use and here’s another where you can get a big discount using this link - they provide high-quality fishy treats and foods, which are firm favourites with my crew!

For those of you who’d like the exact recipe for teaching this, you’ll find step-by-step guidance in Leave it! How to teach Amazing Impulse Control to your Brilliant Family Dog, the second book in the series of Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog. You’ll have a full program which gradually turns your dog into a family member with impeccable manners!

You can choose paperback , ebook or audiobook

Is it my dog? Or is it me?

For your dog to change, you need to change!

This is the message emblazoned on our home page.

And some people will take one look at that and say, “No, I’m perfect: it’s my dog that’s all wrong!” And they’re gone.

That’s sad, because their dog is now denied the possibility that their owner might change!

But those with more perception, more thoughtfulness - you, obviously, as you’re reading this! - see that there is truth in this.

You see, dogs - just like us - are responsive, sentient beings. They don’t just DO. They respond.

Something happens; you do something; they do something. It’s like a game of ping-pong, where you bat things back and forth. If what you bat back to your dog is harsh, self-centred, punitive, you have alienated him and he’s not going to “play ball” any more.

But if you look at what happened, work out why your dog did what he did, and respond with encouragement or distraction or take it as a teaching moment, then you can engage your learner and make some solid progress!

“How can I stop my dog doing xyz?”

My inbox is full of these questions on a daily basis. If I responded harshly, saying that they’re approaching it all wrong, I would lose that person. They’d take offence and go off in a huff. Result: life doesn’t improve, dog stays in trouble!

But I take my own advice from the paragraph above, and make my reply a teaching moment!

These correspondents are repeating what they understand is necessary, what they’ve been told by others: that this creature is wilful and difficult, and needs to be controlled, prevented, contained, in order to have a peaceful home.

But in fact the reverse is true! The more choice you give your dog, the better result you will get.

More choice = more harmony!

I’m pleased that someone has read what I wrote and sees me as someone trustworthy, who can help them. This is to be encouraged! I’m passionate about getting the word on force-free training out as far as is possible.

It’s just like tennis (I do love the summer tennis season!): you lose every point where you don’t hit the ball back in play.

So instead of alienating these readers by castigating them, I encourage them to view things differently and get the result they want.

I explain that instead of trying to stop your dog doing something, it’s infinitely more effective (and faster!) to teach him to do something else instead.

Can you catch yourself?

Sometimes, even an accomplished dog-owner can slip up! You may catch yourself having a knee-jerk reaction to your dog. Maybe because you’re tired, busy, flustered, embarrassed …

Be sure to catch those moments and see how you can change them for the better.

A little reflection, putting yourself in your dog’s paws, may show you why he did what he did, and how you can help him to make a better choice next time.

We all keep learning - dogs and people - every single day!

If you need help putting this theory into practice, be sure to watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN, without nagging, cajoling, or bribery!

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Permission for Dog Training

Whose permission do you have to get to train your dog? 

NOBODY’S!!

🐾 You don't have to get permission from anybody to know how to look after your dog

🐾    You don't need my permission - and you certainly don't need some other dog trainer’s permission! 

You need to rely on what you know is right, what you feel is right. It's your integrity that counts in the end.

You KNOW what is the right way to treat other people. And so you KNOW what is the right way to treat animals in your care. 

Self-styled experts

There are, sadly, many so-called “dog trainers” who will tell you to do things that go against what you know to be right. They bamboozle you into thinking they know best, that your feelings are not important.

So many times people tell me that they were shamed into doing things with their dogs that they now deeply regret. It’s easy to understand how they were duped. They looked for professional help and sadly this is what happened to them. They were made to appear foolish and weak.

But the fact that they are now writing to me to thank me for turning their lives around and showing them a better way means that they have moved on! They no longer have to feel bad about something that happened in the past.

Here’s an excerpt from a long story sent to me by a reader of my Growly Dog Books (Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog)

“I was told I wasn’t any good at helping my dog as I wasn’t winning respect with a firm voice (by this, our male trainer meant shouting) or not acting animated enough. I was told to condition her with punishment and when it failed, use pet corrector (spray) for reactivity, but my poor dog was just so terrified she shut down with the trainer (regrettably, and only thanks to you, I only know now that was her shutting down).

“On top of it, we were told to go out to the busiest road we can find and walk up and down it twice daily to expose her. As you can imagine, our dog got even more reactive afterwards. … I was pretty frightened of the trainer myself. He used to use us to show what not to do in front of a whole class; naturally, we were isolated in the class, with no one talking to us and poor our dog barking mad (literally!).

“My confidence level was pretty low then but I am so glad we stood by our dog until we found you. … We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable. …

“I love the simplicity of being able to reward behaviour just because I like it. I feel so at ease and myself, not being told to shout or act crazy happy, which isn’t my natural temperament. Your books have shown me how to channel my instinctive mental states and behaviour to her in a helpful way.

“I feel guilty and ashamed to look back what I allowed both myself and our dog to go through with the other trainer. But the main thing is we are building a new relationship with her now. I am truly grateful.”  MR

I am so happy that this reader was ready to keep looking for the right help. She knew, deep down, that what was happening was WRONG. She found my books and discovered a new way of being with her dog that fitted her belief system.  

You can only act with the information available to you at the time. That’s why it’s so important to keep learning daily! To look forward with happy anticipation, not look back with regret. I spend a lot of money (many thousands of pounds annually) on increasing my knowledge and abilities, on an ongoing basis. Never stop learning!

“We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable”

For me, this says it all. What’s it all about if you don’t enjoy the dog you got to be your companion? What’s life for if not to enjoy?

So don't go around looking for permission, or saying “I didn't know I could do that!” Find out what you need to do to make your dog happy

and just do that.

That way you can’t go wrong!

Want to make a start by getting your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop and start the transformation that MR enjoyed!

CAN MY DOG BE STRESSED? - PART 3

This post was first published on positively.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Here is the third excerpt from my book - Building Confidence in your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - which points out an area which will be affecting your dog much more than you may imagine. You may want to read the first and second parts of this series first: Can My Dog Be Stressed? - Part 1 and Can My Dog Be Stressed? Part 2 

While you’re doing your best to improve the situation and you take a look at what may be making things worse, you cannot overlook stress.

• Stress causes reactions to be exaggerated

• Stress causes us to snap

• Stress wears us out

And here’s another area of your dog’s life that could be building stress that may surprise you.

3. Daycare or a dogwalker

A very perceptive reader sent me this query recently: “My question is, what do you think of daycare for dogs? Are the dogs actually happy about it, or do dog owners just like to imagine they are?”

Some dogs love daycare. And some people love holiday camps with group activities. I have to say that’s not my kind of holiday, and I would find it very hard to cope and not one bit enjoyable.

I am not going to tar all daycares and dogwalkers with the same brush. There are some excellent ones, with dedicated and knowledgeable owners and good staff education programs. But I will say that you'll have to do extensive research to find a convenient, local one that is truly a safe place for your anxious dog to learn and develop. 

Management skills

Think of the skills you need as a parent to prevent open warfare in your own household! Then picture a gang of dogs being thrown together for a walk - or all day in a confined area - in the care of people who may have no dog training or behaviour qualifications whatever. “I love dogs” may help, but it’s not a qualification. And given how long it takes us to learn how to care for our own species - and that a lot of what people think about dogs is wrong - you’re going to be lucky to find somewhere safe for your dog.

I was recently shown a promotional video for a daycare by someone who’s been sending her very reactive German Shepherd pup there for months. Even in this 30-second video - meant to show how wonderful the place was - I could see bullying and intimidation of this pup by other dogs, and no one going to her aid. Imagine what this sensitive puppy is subjected to for ten hours a day, five days a week! No wonder her reactivity is already extreme at only six months of age. What the owner thought as “being perfectly happy at daycare” was in fact a dog that spent all day trying to avoid the other dogs (quite impossible with those numbers of loose dogs) - shut down, in other words. Not fine at all.

For many dogs, daycare is viewed with the same suspicion I view that holiday camp!

Dogwalkers

If you have a good and responsible dogwalker, you are indeed fortunate! A dogwalker arrived at my regular walking spot recently. She opened her van doors and out flew five or six dogs. One planted his feet on my chest while the others hurtled around the roadside car park alarming other dogs before heading off on their walk. After 20 minutes she returned and drove away again. Would you be happy paying good money for that level of care every day?

My personal solution to an enforced absence from home is to have someone I trust to come in to let the dogs out in the garden and play with them for a while during the day. A “walk” is not needed.

If anything goes wrong in a daycare or with a dogwalker, you will be paying for that for years - possibly the rest of your dog’s life. You can spend time observing at a potential daycare. If they don’t like you quietly watching - move on. Think hard, and do a lot of homework, before handing your dog over.

Regardless of where you live, there will be fantastic, dedicated dogwalkers and daycare facilities that truly put the needs of the dogs in their care above all else. So seek out those above-and-beyond caretakers, and you and your dog will certainly reap the rewards!

Here are excerpt 1 and excerpt 2

Did you find this excerpt interesting? Here's what Book 3 looks like!

Or you can choose to get all three books at once, in paperback or ebook.

For a free e-course to help remove the stress from your life, and your dog’s life go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

How can I get my dog to Listen?

This is the single most frequent request I get from readers: “How can I get my dog to listen?”

Sometimes it arrives in the form of “My dog doesn’t listen to me,” “He never listens,” “You’d think he was deaf!” and so on.

But in every case it’s the owner complaining about her dog’s fault.

How about turning that around????

How about looking at what you’re doing first, then look at what your dog is or isn’t doing in response?

You actually have to teach them first!

I find that folk arrive with me, complaining that their dog doesn’t listen, then they’re surprised when I ask them how they have taught their dog to listen.

They haven’t, of course. They expect the dog to arrive with Listening-to-Owner installed. They don’t realise they have to make it worth their dog’s while to listen to them - every time!

We spend a lot of time with our friends, family, even a prospective spouse, teaching them how to listen. We all want to be heard. And there are different levels of listening. We want the very best!

Your dog is the same! He needs to learn that listening to you is good, listening to you is worth his while, listening to you always results in good things.

And there’s a very real danger that if you don’t teach him what you like, then he’ll teach you what he likes!

In every relationship, one person is shaping the other. Sometimes it gets horribly one-sided, like in an oppressive marriage, or an unequal friendship. But that isn’t necessary. A little careful groundwork can start a relationship off right. True choice in a relationship comes when both parties can express themselves fully..

And that’s what we want with our dogs too.

We want a companion dog who enjoys our company, chooses to hang out with us, is alert to our needs, and eager to please. Note that this doesn’t imply slavery, grovelling, or self-abasement! We want an honest relationship with our dog, the same as with everyone else.

I know the frustration your dog’s apparent ignoring can cause - when you do your best to do what you’ve been told in training your dog - only to find it doesn’t work. It causes the opposite of what you want! Antagonism, distrust, loss of love.

There is a better way. A way which works.

And, importantly, a way which does not involve any force, coercion, or intimidation. The same way as you choose to treat your family and friends.

I love my dog, but he just doesn’t listen!

Would this be you? Have you got a dog who simply doesn’t listen to you? Well, you’re in luck! I’ve just made a new training workshop with exactly you in mind!

You can find it here - it’s free, by the way, as is so much that I give you.

Why do I give so much away for nothing? Some suspicious people even say “What’s the catch?”!

Well, there are two reasons:

1. I am passionate about changing the lives of dogs, and this means changing how their owners are with them. Getting these folk to dip their toe in the water of Choice Training is a great start!

and

2. I know that a number of those people I help will want more - they’ll want to work with me in person, through one of my programs. Hooray! Now I get to help them in depth! That’s the fullest expression of my passion to help dogs be understood.

Understanding leads to harmony.

As Carol, one of those students, put it just recently,

“I’m amazed at how much me and my dog have changed, and what we’ve now become. A proper team.”

Don’t lose another minute!

Register for this free Workshop here and get stuck in! You’ll come away with solid strategies you can put into practice TODAY, to change things in your life with your dog, remove that conflict and frustration, and build an unbreakable bond.

Start the change with your puppy or dog with our free Workshop packed with ideas and strategies -

all force-free!